I have GOT to start blogging again ...... I need it, and I miss it ... but it's rough at the moment, life is busy and I've been in a Fibro Flare for 3 1/2 years continuously .....
Regardless, I really want and need to get back into it. So I'm going to TRY and start blogging again every day. Or at least MOST days, to be realistic and NOT sit there and put the parameters on myself about blogging every day... 2018 I won't make it one of my "resolutions" ...
It has been a rough year. Things really changed last year when we had to move in with my Mom & Step-Dad for almost a year. I'm grateful for the roof over our head, but it wasn't easy. I was really sick, there were 4 of us in one room and while the "other son" was with us, 3 to 4 in that room too and Cal and Noah sleeping on couches. My Step-Dad is a military man, he likes things one way - his way - and I don't know why but I have never felt like he's liked me. Sometimes I don't like the way he treats my mom, but sometimes I don't like how I treat people too.
So - needless to say ... things were tense periodically. He wanted us downstairs but I'd try to keep things quiet out of respect for him - because he works until 2am most nights, and he ends up sleeping a lot during the day... so if the little kids were home, I'd keep them upstairs and quiet and let them loose once he went to work. He would be gone about 12 hours a day... so yeah. I wanted to make sure he got as much rest as he could.
Anyway ... the "other son" went to his Father's place ... the one that he would tell me up and down and left and right and sideways and over and under that he hated because he treated him like shit and had kicked him out repeatedly ...
Well I get why (NOW) no one wanted him in their household... Yes, we took him in, we made him family, and then he - even after 2 years - was telling people bullshit lies ...
(OMG I'm trying to NOT make this a bash the "other son" blog, so badly trying.....)
::: deep breath :::
He apparently went to his Dad's for Thanksgiving (a year ago) and told them that we were kicking them out. so they allowed them to move in down there ... several times while they were there he'd message me or call me in a panic about how he thought they were going to get kicked out (well he'd always say, we're getting kicked out) ... I know he always panics when he even thinks there is a hint of a thought that he might be uneasy thinking they're going to get kicked out.
Shi told me that he told her that they were getting kicked out of Nana & Papa's and that he said "They are going to kick us out, DB wants to focus on his *real* family and that doesn't include us."
EXCUSE ME ASSHAT .. 1: The whole moving in with us thing, was only supposed to be temporary. Then you got Shila pregnant with Elly and no way - no matter how you fucking acted a fool with all the damn fighting ... we were never going to kick you out. .. 2: I loved you like one of my own. I still love you. I really really want you to get your dumb shit head on straight and grow the fuck up. STOP LYING to everyone. STOP telling other people to LIE for you. THAT is what I can't stand. CAN NOT STAND IT. Because your lies don't just effect you - it's effecting OTHER PEOPLE TOO.
So they moved out, and I'm not going to lie, I was a little relieved because the "other son" was a big issue between DB and I. We knew he was lying, and he lied a lot ... but we honestly HONESTLY thought that he was getting better and realizing that lying wasn't the way to go.
This all took a lot out of me, also, and my health wasn't good and the stress continues to aggravate it.
So we literally saw them twice from Thanksgiving to the end of June. The end of May, he told us that they were getting kicked out of his Dad's. It had been made clear that they were not allowed to move back into Nana & Papa's once they left. Elly could stay, but they couldn't.
So they found a cheap (REAL CHEAP) 1 bedroom apartment in our town (his Dad was like 2 hours away) ... and it was a cute little starter apartment ... and if it weren't cockroach infested ... it would have been. One day while the landlord's crew was cleaning out the apartment of a ditcher, the roaches were LITERALLY crawling along the outside walls .... it.... was......... bad! I needed a shower just by standing outside...
Insert seeing them a lot more... which I was great with.... I miss my girls. I didn't miss the drama.
It all started to fall apart at the end of July. They moved into the apartment the end of June. Their lease was a month to month. So the "other son" (I refuse to say his name, cuz that's how pissed I am at him still) ... thought it would be a great idea to have his little sister stay with them, and then his sister's best friend. So we're going to call them "LS" for his little sister and "LSBFF" for her best friends. So .. LS and LSBFF were both staying with them at their new little apartment ... neither of them would help out, but they were eating all the food, the "other son" wasn't doing anything other than playing games and running off with LS and/or LSBFF.
It is HIGHLY suspected that something was stirring between the "other son" and LSBFF ... a brainless scheme to avoid paying rent was put into play, part of this stupid plan was making everyone think that Shila had been "abusive" and "fake break-up" ....
Stupid right? Yeah I know.
This "fake" break up would lead to a REAL break-up between them. There was accusations of "kidnapping" and the "other son" went from NOT being very concerned about stuff to freaking the hell out... We tried to get Shi's side of things, but it wasn't allowed ... But I wondered at the time why he didn't start really freaking out until then.... but it is what it is...
The next few months were filled with courts and paperwork and cops being involved ...
It was REALLY scary. I don't care how relationships change with the "other son" and Shila ..... but those girls are my grandkids. I love them both so much. I love the "other son" and I love Shila but I don't want to lose that contact with the girls.
The thought of losing those girls broke me for a little while. The words "kidnapping" and "Amber Alert" and not knowing where they are or if they are okay... I mean we knew where Clairah was and she was safe, we didn't know for sure where Shila and Elly were... and it was scary. We love Shila like a daughter. It was hard.
So when Kale made a plan with Shila, it was amazing. The first day I saw Elly again - I cried. I cried cuz I saw Shila too. She had no idea that the "other son" was dating someone else.
Timeline went.....
Aug 4. = Elly's 2nd Birthday. There was a party at the park, and by the time I got there to take pictures, she was filthy
The following day (Aug 5th) I did her two-year photo shoot...
On Aug 7th - the "other son" started to make claims against Shila
Aug 8th - Shila had gone back to the apartment
Aug. 9th - Shila had gone back
Aug. 10th - the "other son" kicked out Shila at this point. What I didn't know was that he had hatched this plan to avoid paying rent. I had asked him - on several occasions - if he paid/had rent taken care of. which he assured me on several days he had (done). I suspected him lying about it - which is why I kept on him. Plus, on the 5th, Shila told me they hadn't.
I took Elly overnight on the 9th/10th.
And then on Aug 12th ... the "kidnapping" happened
It wssn't until the END of August that they came back.
I'm not going to go through the whole story at the moment ... but I got tired of the "other son" two timing Shila. He was telling her what she wanted to hear and keeping the "girlfriend" he had. So I blew up his game cuz I'm not going to sit by and allow him to literally string two girls along, one being only 18 years old, but I know SHE is drinking his koolaid and not going to listen to anything I say ..... even if I sent her the pronographic FB conversation with someone else I know while he's "with" this 18 year old.... I mean, if there was one...
Cliffnotes:
He lied. A.lot.
He started dating a 18 year old highschool senior only days after his daughter was "kidnapped"
There were the following lies....
- He lead Shila to believe that he was "fake" breaking up with her in order to play out some ingenious scam to either avoid paying rent or getting someone to pay their rent... because buying an Xbox One was more important.
- The "kidnapping" of Elly wasn't actually a kidnapping (I did repeatedly call it a parental kidnapping, but there was no parenting plan in place, so it wasn't an actual kidnapping kidnapping) ... but it was in VERY bad taste. They did *snatch* Elly and we were extremely worried about them, and when we found out where she was, when we called out there, we weren't allowed to talk to Shila. And :::coughSOMEONEcough::: admitted to "snatching" Elly. (No it wasn't Shila, just not going to say who it was here.)
- Her Grandpa basically tried to rape her
- Their lives were in danger, i.e. her grandpa threatened to put there in a place on his property that no one would find them (as in burying them)
- She was being held hostage
- various other bad things....
Other lies:
- He was being faithful and not cheating on anyone ...
- His Grandpa's sister got into a car accident on the way out of town, died. Grandpa, so distraught, went out, got drunk, and drove home drunk - getting into an accident and dying also.
- Later, his Grandpa who WAS NOT dead ... I was later told had stage 4 cancer... that I don't know for sure is a lie or not, but I can only assume.
- He broke his back 8 times
- He has heart issues
- He got sealant and rat poison in his eye(s) - the sealant I can see, maybe, but I don't believe the rat poison at all anymore ...
- He has more heart issues
- Every time he doesn't want to do something, he has medical problems ... which is all the time
- He lied about job stuff
- He lied about school stuff
- He lied about SO MUCH STUFF
- Lies lies and MORE lies
To sum it up, this dirty little nugget is safe and sound.
More updates to come!