I Love This Blog Award!

Thank you so much to The C's at The C's Baby Dance!!  She awarded me with this awesome blog award and I'm super flattered and honored (as I always am!)  I love my blog awards and am proud of each one!!  And can I just say WOW!!!

Here's the guidelines--
1. Thank and link back to the person who gave you the award.
2. Share 7 things about yourself.
3. Award 15 recently discovered great bloggers.
4. Make sure you contact these bloggers to let them know about the award.
I gave the last award out to several newly discovered blogs ..... but I shall do my best!!!  But FIRST.....


7 Random Things About Me........ (different from the last one)

1: I only like milk chocolate ….. don’t know why.  I like white chocolate once in a while, and I do not like dark chocolate. 

2: I have only had one ticket….. for speeding ….. and that was back in highschool!

3: I had a crush on the SAME GUY all 4 years of High School …  it was sad… 

4: I have an obsession with books…… I can never get rid of a book I loved……  (And I have almost every single one of Nora Roberts – J.D. Robb books….)

5: I love graveyards, I think the artwork on gravestones is amazing and I like walking around looking at names and noting ones I like for future characters…. 

6: I want to go to Ireland and Italy someday …. Ireland for me, Italy for my hubby …  and take a Cruise …

7: I don’t drink Coffee … but I drink Hot Chocolate like most people drink Coffee…. 

HERE ARE THE FIFTEEN *NEW* BLOGS I HAVE FOUND AND AWARDED!!!  (and it took me hours to do so!!... Looking forward to getting to *know* you all better!)

Ours + His + Mine = Nine!

Small and Fierce

The Tired Mama


A JD + Three


Bounce Me To the Moon







Love Is Everywhere







Little Stories Everywhere


Raising A Leader


Skeeberboo






Ten40Three


The Barefoot Mommy






The Boy Named After A Car


This Lovely Life


The Mommy Dance

  

The Mommy Memos

Morning Visitor ...

This morning when we left to go over to Nana's, we had some visitors outside.

I got a New Award :D

Thank you to Shona at A PGD Blog ... for this awesome new award   :)   I love knowing that people read and like my blog :D

Here are the rules for the acceptance of the award:
1. Thank and link back to the person who awarded you the award.
2. Share 7 things about yourself.
3. Award 15 other bloggers.
4. Contact these bloggers and tell them about the award.

 So 7 thinks about me.......... 

1:  I am a wife, and a mother of 4 boys.  I have a step-daughter, also, however that's a long drawn out story.  We always recognize her in the family, even if she isn't with us, she is in our hearts.  I wish the case were different, but it's not and we can't afford to change it at the moment.  Anyway ...  I have a 15 year old, I found out I was pregnant at 18 and had him when I was 19.  I suffered through 5 years of secondary infertility, and then finally got pregnant with a baby that stuck, that was my Noah who is about to turn 9.  After more infertility, I divorced their dad and ended up meeting my husband.  Then we got pregnant pretty easily and ended up having Nathan, who will be 4 in April, and then got pregnant with Kaedyn who is almost 2 1/2....   In between all those kids, starting with my oldest who was a twin, I have had 14 miscarriages.   It has been a struggle not to GET pregnant, but to stay pregnant.  It was my last miscarriage with my ex husband that my OB discovered I need to take progesterone in  order to stay pregnant.  We are done now....  

(Artwork by Noah - age 8 - His Family... before ya think Daddy has a Beehive, that's suppose to be his ball cap, I look like a Koala, and I have no idea why Cal is so small!)

2: Out of my 4 boys, I had two preemies, and two very unique babies.  I had rather difficult pregnancies with all of them, but Calahan was over due, and Kaedyn was just a week early but healthy as can be.  Noah and Nathan on the other hand, well....  they were born unique.  I don't talk about medical stuff going on in this blog so much, cuz this is MY outlet.  Might sound a bit selfish, but I would rather have all their updates and stuff in one place.  Sometimes, it does overlap.  Big moments, new diagnosis.... needing prayers for them.  But for the most part, I keep a lot of that stuff over at My Unique Flowers, which is about everything going on with the kids medical wise ...  Anyway ...   While I was pregnant with Noah, I learned he has a rare genetic disorder called Mosaic Trisomy 16.  I was told he would die, I was told he would have no quality of life....  however, that's not what happened.  He is a (pretty) healthy little boy who turns 9 years old on Tuesday.   You really wouldn't know there was anything wrong with him, other then maybe his size, unless I sat there and pointed things out to you.  His head is really big, and flat in the back, his ears are lower, he has one leg longer then the other by just a few millimeters, but it's starting to get noticeable, he is in 3rd grade but only at a 1st grade level.... he has kidney issues...  and various other things... but you wouldn't know it looking at him.  He was 1lb 12oz when he was born .... I was afraid to touch him when he was born...... It didn't take me long to get over that....  he came home only weighting 3lbs 4oz ...  

(day after he was born, he came off the vent after only 40 hours, and stayed off) 

His hands, and his feet.... 

 With Nathan, it was a huge shock, Noah's condition was suppose to be like getting struck by lightning.  So when his pregnancy was going so much like Noah's, I got scared.  However, Nathan's issues ended up being completely different then Noah's.  Nathan has a cyst in his cerebellum, he is missing some of his vermis (part of his cerebellum) ... he has a closed cleft palate, a type of dwarfism, and is autistic... plus a lot of other things.  The Doctors didn't dare say anything about him not making it, about maybe I should terminate, like they did with Noah.  They knew, I just wasn't going to.  He was 3lbs 4oz when he was born....   he came home under 5lbs also.  

In the NICU

 Calahan and Noah looking in on Nathan - the NICU actually asked to be able to use this picture in future publications ....

 After Nathan came home.... he just didn't grow...  he was gaining about one ounce a week.  Not good... but he is almost 4 now and doing better.  He's still a peanut (cuz of his dwarfism disorder) ... but we are a little better aware of what is going on with him.

Two preemies, same NICU...  they were put in the same spot in the NICU even...  I love that NICU, and the staff.  I hope to someday, do some preemie photography for parents so they can remember their babies. 

3:  I am a writer.  I have a few books I've finished, short stories, tons of poems, but I have about 7 books I'm working on... book 2 to one book that I already finished, and several other books.   I just wrote about my writing in this blog post ...  Kidnapper's Cove ...  which is the book I want to finish first.  But why is it that I can write one book and come up with five more plots!!  UGH!  And of course you gotta start working on it before it escapes.....  makes for a very confusing process.

4: I am a photographer......... I had started my own business before moving from Wisconsin, but have to get things together here before I can start up again (if I decide to) .... but I love taking pictures.  I call myself "Mammarazzi" .... I say "My kids think my face is a camera lens and are blinded by the flash" LOL...  

5:  I am a TV addict... I looooooooooove watching my shows.   All time FAVORITE shows....  Gilmore Girls, X-Files, and Castle....  top 3 hands down.   I also love Greek, Secret Life of an American Teen, Make It Or Break It... I was a die hard ER fan, and now I'm trying to catch up on past seasons of Greys Anatomy - cuz, being that I live on the other side of the Sound from Seattle, I figure...  I have to, plus, I'm all into it now....  and I'm a train-wreck tv...er... Reality TV ...  Big Brother, Survivor, the Bachelor, Hells Kitchen, Top Chef, American Idol, etc and so on and on and on ...  lol....  LOOOOOOOOOOVE IT........ 

6:  It took me 4 tries, but I finally got my "mini-me" child!! 

7:  Last but not least............ I guess that I'll share that after my divorce, I thought that I would never find a man who could take on me, plus two boys ... especially with one of those boys having medical issues.  I dated one guy seriously, but that didn't work out ... and then a few guys not seriously ...  then tried another relationship but that was a crock.... after that I just kinda gave up.  Figured I would date, have fun, not bring these guys around my kids at all ....... and just be a Mom, and be me.  Then, I got "winked" at by this guy in North Carolina on a free online dating site....  so I emailed him back and said thanks for the wink....  he emailed me back, we chatted in emails and then through IM....  just figured this guy could be a friend....  but it turned into a lot more..... cuz now, I married him and he truly is my soul mate.  Who would have thought a "wink" would be the entry way to a wonderful family?  I never expected it, but I'm sure glad it happened!!

Here are the 15 Bloggers that I'm recognizing!!  (in Random Order)

1:  Lauren at The Real Reality

2:  Linnea at Our Journey to Faith 

3: Ava's Mommy at Fighting to Grow 

4: Lisa at This, That and The Other Thing 

5: CF Momma at Nathan's Fight

6: Monique at Razing Mayhem

7:  Jenna at The Adventures of a Sewing Noob

8:  Melzie at Melzie's Monologue

9: RELH at Plans Change

10: Montana Mom of 3 at A Pinch To Grow An Inch

11: Keeslers Mom at Keeslers Choas  

12:  Julia at Pontifications of a Twin Mom

13: The Barreness at The Barreness's Blog

14:  Mrs Gamgee at Hobbit-ish Thoughts and Ramblings

15: Sarah at Bio Girl

ENJOY YOUR GIFT :D

I have been bad......... er... sick...

I didn't get my ICLW done at all this month and I feel bad for that, because usually I am really good about it. 

However, I have just been so sick this week, usually my laptop is infront of me when-ever my kids are not... and this week, it just hasn't been.  I haven't really gotten a chance to write or anything.  I'm just sick.  Monday I didn't feel well, had my labs and ultrasound done.... Tuesday I couldn't even function, Dennis had to take the kids to my Mom's so that my cousin could watch them while he went to Seattle for an appointment.  I couldn't get out of bed unless it was to run to the bathroom.   Wednesday, I was feeling slightly better - I could deal with the kids, but I still was throwing up and such.  Wednesday night, the DR called to give me the results of my labs and started out the conversation with "How are you?" and I told her the truth!  Told her how sick I've been and how my blood sugars were really high.  Everything going on.  She wanted me to go to Urgent Care right away.  So we packed up the kids after calling my mom, and left after dropping them off. 

We get there and of course I'm a sarcastic smart ass cuz that's the way I am....... they told me they were going to do an IV and of course I start freaking out ... he comes in to do it, and says "Are you Annissa?" and I said "No, he is..." and pointed at Dennis.

I HATE NEEDLES!!!!

I am not one of those people who say that, either, and have tattoos and piercings!   I have my ears pierced and that was enough, and the only tattoos I have are the spider webs across my stomach from being pregnant with my children (aka stretch marks!  As in I have no tattoos) ...  I don't discriminate against needles, they all suck and they all send me on edge.

So I asked him if he brought in lydicane ... and he is like "no" ... I told him he better get some.  I don't care if it's 2 pokes, I don't care if the lydicane burns....  all I know is they usually have to dig for my veins and with the lydicane, I don't freak out to the point where I can't breath. 

Agian......... I HATE NEEDLES!!!!

So he humored me.  Got it in one stick.

And then I got to sit through getting fluid and nausea meds (which helped so much!) and then getting pain meds too which was funny, he was like "It'll make you feel light headed, blah blah blah" and what it did was give me a pain through out my body from my head to my thighs like a mild headache all through.  It was ... weird.... but it worked. 

Luckily, my liver tests looked better - so hopefully today they'll be better still.  However, the last two days still haven't been easy and I've still been sick.

I asked my husband if I looked as good as I felt, and he said "Yeah, you look like shit" .......

Maybe.... just maybe.... I shouldn't have asked........

So ... that's why I haven't gotten a chance to read and note and comment and post my new uber award I got :D

The Bacholer ........ Week 4

This isn’t going to be my normal play by play type thing… I’ve been sick… 

Michelle wakes up – out of the blue, with a black eye.   Hummmm… how weird is that?  Makes me wonder if she punched herself in the eye over and over and over until she did some damage so that she could claim some sympathy …   She’s so full of threats and … saying If she doesn’t get her own one on one date, then Brad might end up with his own black eye…  seriously?   This woman scares me.    I think she needs to GO HOME…..

Chantel O’s date with Brad seemed very amazing …they went scuba diving…  especially at the end where he goes “will you just accept the rose” and then “will you shut up and kiss me” … that actually made me smile. 

The group date was to a radio show …. Loveline with Dr. Drew and Mike (This isn't right! IT's Loveline with Adam and Dr. Drew!) …  Brad said he has never cheated on anyone, even as an 8^th grader, he never kissed two different girls on the football field (or something like that) …  Stacy revealed that she had a drunk stupid night in college where she cheated and wrecked her college relationship..  there was a lot of general opening up and being honest about stuff.  Then Ashley H flips out …  getting all jealous …  to the point where when Brad was  going to hand out the date rose, she made a snide comment … and he says “Well, I’m going to change things up a little” and gives the rose to Britt.  

Then it’s Michelle’s one on one date day and she’s all pissed off because there is a lot of talk about Ashley H and what happened the night before.  It pisses her off even MORE that he pulls her aside when he gets there to pick her (Michelle) up.   Michelle of course belly aches about it, and says that “she is taking about 30 minutes of my time” … um… really?  Brad was the one who asked to talk to her, not her asking to talk to him.  Brad and Ashley H hash things out and then he leaves with Michelle. 

…  but not before threatening to “elbow Ashley H in the face” …  

Michelle, after a little while, changed a bit – became a little more human – they go on a helicopter to a roof top where they go down the side of a building, and she flips out because she’s afraid of heights.  Then they jump into a pool with their clothes on… lol…  and then have dinner where Brad asks to meet Michelle’s daughter.   Of course he gives her the rose because he put some voodoo spell on him.  That’s just all there is to it…  

During the rose ceremony …  he has one on one time with some women, and then he pulls off Emily to the side, where he pulls out a picnic basket with some champagne … and a blanket …  the girls all start to say “Emily is going to win” … “Is there a ring in that basket?” …  All the girls are talking about how they don’t feel special .. and how it’s a punch in the stomach. 

So he spreads out the blanket and tells her that he wants to recreate the vineyard date cuz it was perfect…  and he tells in an interview that she deserves more than being pulled aside for a one on one.   She says how she left little gifts for her daughter, one a day for while she’s gone…  and he says “well you came here confident didn’t you?”  she laughs and says that she just wanted to be prepared.  

Meanwhile, the girls are being jealous …  and rightfully so, I know if I were in their place, I would be too.  It’s really hitting Chantel O …  HARD….. 

So Chantel O interrupts some time with Ashley H to talk to him.  She starts to go off about how she sees him going for some girls who are not stable and how she really has feelings for him and various other things.  He tells her that he loves the fact that she’s not needy, and she’s independent and that she keeps him on his toes. 

Chantel O, Britt and Michelle all have roses …. 

Ashely S, Ally, Emily, Shawntel N, Lisa, Jackie, Merissa, and Ashley H get roses ….  

Which means that Meghan, Stacey, and Lindsay went home.

Wordless Wednesday......... heehee...

Disclaimer: This is not my car, just one I parked next to - had to take a picture of the "Ouch"

Today ..... SUCKED!!

I spent all day in bed, I couldn't get up this morning unless it was run to the bathroom!  I couldn't take care of my kids...... that's how sick I was.  So .... I am going to share a few pictures ...    Just of Kaedyn, and Me...

Sick......

I have been getting sick the last couple of weeks, just slowly been getting worse.  Now my blood sugar is completely out of control and apparently there is something wrong with my liver!  I had to go in today for more labs and an ultrasound!  I'm just hoping it's nothing serious :(

Well, it's FINAL ........

THE PACKERS WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, I'm not the biggest Packers fan, and I certainly am not the biggest football fan, however....  this year, thanks to my Step-Dad........ I have found that I can tolerate it, and even enjoy it!!   So I have been watching football a lot more, and even getting into it ......... and it's been fun!

So today .... of course, it was Packers and the Bears and I had to cheer on the home team... meaning, I was born and raised in Wisconsin - so it was Packers all the way!!   AND THEY KICKED BEARS BEHIND!!

WOOT!!!  

My mom says after "Do we really want to watch the Jets lose?"  and we're all going "noooooooo" ... ha ha ha...   and we watched Toys Story 3 with the kids....  tuned into the end of the Jets and Steelers game and low and behold.... Steelers was kicking the Jets behind!  And then ..... it was over and Steelers won!  So it's official!! 

PACKERS ARE GOING TO THE SUPERBOWL!!!

With This Ring....

So ... when Dennis and I got married, he got me a ring, a very pretty wedding set.  I liked it ... for the most part.... but it wasn't a solid ring and the prongs that held the diamond in place would catch ... on.... EVERYTHING...

Well incase ya didn't know, I was 18 weeks pregnant when I got married, LOL... and my fingers decided to swell up like...... yeah... well... anyway - the ring didn't fit anymore, and thanks to Dennis' cooking...... I *still* wouldn't fit....

So .......... it took a long time before any of my rings would fit, so my celtic knot ring has been holding that spot on my finger until Dennis and I can afford getting each other real wedding bands.  But...... I want something that looks more like a wedding band. 

Mom got invited to a jewelry party ... so she asked if I wanted to go along.  I wasn't sure, but eventually I was like... "when do I ever really get out for FUN stuff" ....  and who knows, this might be fun, so I said I'd go.   I talked to Dennis about it, and it was all okay with him....

Well, it was a lot of fun.  I am REALLY glad I went.  I really like Mom's friend, and her friends were great fun :)  The party itself was fun.   The Host (Carla) was like "You can get anything replaced as long as you take good care of it and don't do drastic things to it" ... so I peeped up and said "So letting my 2 yr old chew on it wouldn't be good then?" .... ha ha ha ....  I got a drawing ticket for being a smart ass, it was great fun!   And I talked to one of her friends who has an adult child who is unique.  She was telling me a few things that we should check out.

Anyway, I wasn't thinking I would be getting anything ..... completely broke ya know....... but Mom kept going "You see anything you like?"  So I pointed out two things to her.  One, being a ring - which she knew that I wanted something that looked more like a wedding ring to wear until that day - who knows when - when Dennis and I can go get real rings for each other.  We have more important things to do with what little money we have right now.  Like pay bills... LOL...

So this is what I picked out ....  Thanks Mom!!   I sent a picture to Dennis and he said it was "Pritty"

I also picked out a necklace that is very versatile...  it's got neutral colors so I can wear it with pretty much anything I have :)

PS: Both these pieces were under $50 ... 

HAPPY JANUARY ICLW!!

It is time for I.Comment.Leave.Week .... YAY!!!  If you'd like to know more about it........ please check out Mel's Blog: Stirrup Queen .......

You can read many of my last ICLW intro's HERE .. but .... that might be a little boring.

Let me give you a big of history.......(I'm actually going to copy and paste this from last months just cuz I am exhausted!!)

For those who have suffered, I have been there... I was on the infertility train ... for ... a .... long ..... time.   5 years.  Luckily, I suffered from Secondary Infertility so I had a little boy, who was BEGGING me for a little "sisser" ... to keep my mind off it.  Unfortunately - your mind becomes so wrapped around everything, and over analyzing EVERY symptom... no one knows how much infertility hurts but someone who has been through it.  Doesn't matter if you have other kids or not, if you feel like your family is incomplete, it hurts just as bad.

I know a lot of people who are going through infertility without having children yet, don't feel the same.  And I can respect that.  I would probably feel the same way.  But I know how much it hurt me, and how it crushed my soul.   On top of fighting the fight... I suffered 14 miscarriages.  Some of them, I have to say, were easier then others.  There were ones I was just so crushed and heartbroken, others I expected and was just pessimistic about... some I wanted so bad and ...

All I think about is....... if I hadn't lost some of those babies, I wouldn't have the ones I have, and I love my boys!  They were fought for....... With Calahan I lost his twin....and by some miracle he hung in there....  then the five years of secondary infertility happened.... got Noah and was told he would die during the pregnancy due to his rare genetic disorder... but he is my 8 year old miracle man!  Then suffered more infertility....  Then I got divorced, gave up on men, and met ... cheesy as it sounds..... the love of my life.  I can't explain how much I love the man.  We decided to give it a shot and got pregnant right away!  I honestly didn't think I was and it took my very persistent BFF to cyberly push me to the bathroom - literally - and when I was walking up the stairs back to my computer ....   and I looked down, and saw those two lines.... the world actually stopped moving.  Then the news came about his medical issues, and my world broke open and swallowed me whole. No one really knew how scared I was, but going through what I had already with Noah, in the NICU, all the medical stuff, knowing that - to this day - anything could happen and I could lose him .... and now, it was happening all over again.  Nathan's issues are different, but they are more severe.  They could be worse, don't get me wrong...  but I worry about his future.  I worry if he'll have one.  He is just such a ... vibrate little guy.  That's all I can focus on sometimes.  His list of medical issues, seems endless sometimes.  But he is certainly one of the five loves of my life.  Then....  we decided to try again - miscarriage on our 1st wedding anniversary and 2 weeks later, a little egg was implanting again.... a few days later, after an early morning wake up call from the SWAT team breaking in next door........ I got two faint pink lines ....... and that would be my Kaedyn..... healthy as can be.

If you are interested in reading more of the boys' ... you can see updates  MY UNIQUE FLOWERS

I am proud to say I am an IF grad........ I hate that I can read your blogs and totally relate ... but I do.  No one should have to go through what we do for wanting one of the most basic things in life.

All I can say, is I wish one thing for all my friends suffering, for all the people suffering from infertility ... I really, truly hope, 2011 is YOUR year to be filled with buldging bellies, miserable pregnancies that will totally be worth it (and trust me, as much as you don't want to complain or are thankful for that life inside you, you WILL complain and you will, on some days, especially towards the end, be miserable-- it'll be a HAPPY miserable) .. .. and followed by nothing but dirty diapers, sleepless nights and payments of smiles and giggles and heart-bursting firsts!

If you want to read more of my blog, I have some highlighted posts on the left menu :)   Thanks for stopping by!!