Today was a good day....

I am two weeks post toe amputation ....  I'm trying to catch up on the whole "Black Toe Saga  - Life and Death of Judith" .... Judith is my toe in case you didn't know.... the one that got amputated.  All those blogs will be back dated ....

Judith is gone. Now my fourth toe is in danger. Fourth toe is named Ruby.  My friend named my toe Judith and DB named Ruby .... but it fits because she's pretty red... long live Ruby .... And with Ruby in danger, my pinkie toe would be in danger too.  Doc G sewed Ruby and my pinkie toe (aka Lilith) together to create a better blood supply for the two toes as a whole... in hopes to give them a better chance to be saved....  So I'm naming the pinkie toe.... Lilith and at this point might as well name the rest, so how about Cecily and Eunis?

So this is how it goes....

1st Toe (big toe): Eunis
2nd Toe: Cecily
3rd Toe (middle toe): Judith
4th Toe: Ruby
5th Toe (pinkie toe) Lilith

So Judith succumbed to her infection and she was put to rest on  September 21st 2019.  She was cremated with the other hospital waste ... but at least she went out with some polish on her!

So Eunis has a cut at the base of the toe, on the bottom of the foot.  Cecily is just standing tall and strong.  Ruby - you can see is darkened a bit but it's not gangrene ... not sure what is going on totally but it likes to bleed when I clean it which Doc S says is a good sign...  but after taking Judith, Ruby and Lilith are sewn together ...

I feel like this is going to be a never ending story ... I'm pretty scared I am going to lose my foot in the long run but ..... ::: deep breath::: I am trying not to think about that ...

I currently have a big hole on the top of my foot where those stitches are... that's where the big pocket of infection was that squirted out like a freaking volcano and hurt like a .... mo'fo....

Today my foot hurts a bit .... pressure on Lilith and Ruby is really uncomfortable but it's especially uncomfortable and painful when there is pressure on Lilith....

Today I actually got chatty on Twitter ....

It was a pretty good day overall :D

I did watch Finn Road and IMO I think it was the best one out of the whole collection.  I was having palpitations because the evil was practically palpable ..... and I am usually working/doing something on my laptop and not ALWAYS paying complete attention to the TV and I didn't realize that someone else from Ghost Hunters (OG) would be called upon ....  and at one point Steve (Prozak)

(Of course I recognized him right here just by his profile....  I was like ...  is that STEVE?  That's STEVE!)

With that....... Goodnight....

Best Intentions...

A lot has happened since I last blogged.  Like...

.... got bit by a poisonous spider....
............ ended up in the hospital because of it ....
... Oh and I'm gonna be getting a divorce! 

So yes, a lot is going on ... 

.......... I should be blogging every day - and I do have a "secret" blog that I'm blogging about my feelings right now ...  probably safer that way. 

So blogging is going to happen more... because it needs to. 

Happiness is a choice ..... and a destination... no matter what, I will choose happy ... (me)

Fri-Nally!

So I got up this morning and took a shower ... I hate how over the last couple years my natural curls in my hair have literally disappeared...  grrrrr I miss my curls!

Today I just wanted to take it easy and try to relax and re-coup from the last could of days.   So Snapchat... lol... 

The pink hair below, is actually kinda cool ... my husband says no nose ring though ...  bahahahahahha

The best part of my day (<--- that's sarcasm) ... is when we got a call saying Nathan's surgery for Monday is canceled because Dr. C doesn't like that he's gained so little weight but ... ya....  besides the first year after the G-Tube - he didn't really GAIN weight - he goes up and down and up and down and since the G-Tube fell out, he's not been throwing up a lot, he has been eating more, he's always been more active ...  he's been HAPPIER .... 

And it just makes me a little mad that this surgery got canceled when his weight gain has been very little for the last couple years!  He's been dancing around the 45lb to 50lb range since April 2015 to this past fall - then when his tube falls out he finally seems to hit and surpass that 50lbs mark... 

.................. sooooooooo .......... yeah.   But whatever.  We didn't get the call until 5:30pm and we couldn't call the Dr to argue with him.  So yes, it would be much worse for Nathan to get the G-Tube stoma to get closed finally, after 6 months of it just being open with gauze over it, leaking...  much worse...   so let's leaving it open and leaking ... it's all good. 

::: sigh :::

Off to Seattle We Go ....

We left crazy early in the morning ... Nana and Elly took us over to Seattle for Nathan Pre-Op appointment ...

I adore being by the water.  LOVE it...  I am a true Cancer and I love to watch the water...  I have no issues being on the water.  I love it. 

(These were taken while waiting for the Kingston/Edmond's ferry .... )

'

We got to Children's and took a potty break before heading to the appointment .... I hung out with the Muskrats, I mean Rugrats....

We got taken back... Nathan is 52.9 lbs and 4ft 1.8 in.  (He was 52.3lbs and 4ft 1.7in on December 20th, the appt prior to that on December 7th ... he was 4 ft and a half an inch and 52lbs ...)  He doesn't gain well, but he never has...  however he IS gaining still ...

Nathan's not crying or upset, he's bored... LOL ... and trying to stay away from Elly because she annoys him for the most part.  He doesn't know how to handle her screaming or her touching him with his Autism and sensory issues.... 

We got slated for Monday - to get the blasted G-Tube site closed - FINALLY.  It's only been a big hole open in his belly for 6 months now...   YAY...  and it'll be our very first outpatient surgery! No overnight (or three) in the hospital!

On the way home when we were on the ferry  .... 

Katie found her way up on top of the highest point in my room (she's like an inch if even from the ceiling ...) ...  and then Joy copied....

I came home and just kinda crashed .... got a long day tomorrow too - but doesn't start AS early as today .... 

Saturday... Nope....

Originally we were going to go out to Port Gamble and Point No Point today, but it was raining and  I was not feeling well at all.... 

...... so it got postponed, and I did some things that I could (working) from bed...  oh and there was this cat who kept walking on me and using me as a bed... 

I.n.S.o.M.n.I.a.

This is how my morning is starting...  only CURRENTLY it's 4:19 AM ...  ha ha ha

I'm sitting at my desk, thinking of all the things I could be doing since I can't sleep and how I could do this or that or the other thing.....

,,, like.....

I could work on chapter ten  because I lost all of what I wrote when the laptop froze up and I had to give it a hard reboot.  I am POSITIVE I saved it but ....  guess not ....

Or I could be working on figuring out how to set up my binder calendar/journal for next year since it's coming up so fast ... .cuz I only have the month pages printed ATM ....

Or I could be pet battling in wow - or doing SOMETHING on there....  wasting my life on a game ...

............... or SIMS ......

........... or I could be reading that fucking book that I haven't finished yet .... ya know, that one that I started reading LAST YEAR!  Nothing like taking 18 months to finish reading one book....  WTF is wrong with me?

............. or even pondering the meaning of LIFE would be better than laying in bed starring at the ceiling listening to my husband snore and sleep ... blissfully.

You know, it's a bit funny.  When DB and I first met and first got together, he would tell me how he was so jealous because I could lay down and fall asleep almost instantly ......  and he'd struggle ....

....... and look at me now!  This sucks because I am sooooooooo tired.  SOOOOOO tired.  My brain is in practically shut down mode but the rest of me is all......

P                                           N
   A                                            I                                        G
       R                   L                      G                               N
            T             L                             H                      O
                Y       A                                   T                L

The fact that I just pulled that ^^^ off ,,,,,

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,  sigh.

Someone knock me in the head with a cast iron pan please?

Shoot me with a horse or elephant tranquilizer?

Nah ....

Fibro is so very weird ...  Yes!  You feel so bone dead tired all the damn time and yet, you can't sleep ....  it's so dumb. 

Let's Talk Menopause ....

Let's talk MENOPAUSE ..... so, I'm gonna have a little bit of real girl chat here.  I'm 42 ...  So this year my body decided to fuck up my life.  Earlier this year, I got a second outbreak of my Guttate Psoriasis (the red dots) and March 10th was my last period.  We've thought pregnancy, and upon negative tests, we though .... what the hell, is it menopause??  I'm too YOUNG to have menopause.

Seriously ....  too young.  I still get called my husband's daughter.......  I am TOO YOUNG.   (covers mouth and snickers)

Anyway ..... imagine my surprised when after my period in March (10th) ... I didn't get one in April, at all.... or May....... OR EVEN JUNE.

4 pregnancy tests say nope .......

......... so why?

I'm TOO YOUNG for menopause ...

Well we found out it's not.... menopause that is.  He ordered blood tests prior to my appointment.  He said (whichever hormone it is, or whatever) ...  normal is between 1 and 10 (I'm at a 5) ...  pre-menopause is around a 20 and full blown menopause is like 40 and up.  So I'm not even CLOSE to either of them.

It's just my body being really stupid.

Like...... HEY - getting CFS isn't enough, have FIBRO too ... oh lets add Psoriasis ... not enough?  Well how about some gestational diabetes that never goes away .... turns into full on diabetes!  Still not enough, well lets throw in GUTTATE Psoriasis ... that'll be FUN!!  No, want more???  How about female reproductive issues.... wait...  hold my beer, she's already got that .... ah...... MORE female reproductive issues, like let's completely give her a vacation from her monthly shark week!  .... gimme back my beer, she'd LIKE that!!  But I'mma still gonna do it.

Yep..... this is how my body works.   It's against me in every possible way.

Looking back on Week 3

So here is to Week 3 of 52 being DONE in 2018!!

Given that I am not constantly turning HERE to get my blogging done 100% of the time....  I at LEAST want to record what happened during each day, at least a little bit.  And it helps me reflect on the week, the days, the month .... whatever.  It will also help me remember what happened each day because ...I am 41 and I feel like my brain is turning to mush already.  I hope and pray it's just "Fibro Fog" and not something worse.

So ... I have already shared the first two weeks of the calendar ...  but I decided that I'm going to start doing this a little bit different ... if I get the umph to go back and do it on the other two weeks, I will, but I'm going to look onward ... 

I usually record how I sleep because I am in a major insomnia crap'o'la life.... and so I figured I need to start recording it ... I also need to start recording my fasting blood sugar at the very least....  oye...  but I have severe cotton mouth and I drink all night... so ... I don't know what to do really.

So ... I will be sharing one photo that I took during the day (at least one) and then the jist of what happened in my ho-hum boring ass life... LOL ....

Monday - Martin Luther King Jr. Day .... 

Kaedyn started running a temp the day before....  his temp got up to over 103 though.... I ended up rescheduling Noah's Orthodontist and my Wound Care appointment because of it.  I ended up sleeping most of the day...  I went to sleep around 5am and slept until 5pm minus being up for about an hour.  I just wasn't feeling well.  (there was no school) - I am certain Bubba has strep...

Tuesday:

Nate and Bubba were home from school. We thought Nathan was catching the strep that I am certain Bubba has.  We kept him home just incase.  I think the highest temp I saw at this point was 102.   He threw up a little bit.

I finished CHAPTER FOUR (of Dark Woods)!!!  YAY!!!!!!!!!!

Rescheduled DB's CPAP appt for tomorrow.... 

MOVIE WATCHED: Past Malice: An Emma Fielding Mystery.  
                                  & Frozen In Love 

PET BATTLE WEEK STARTED!

Wednesday: 

Bubba had an appt with Dr. V at 11:30 - Rapid Strep Test came back POSITIVE ... 

......... can someone just hand me my medical degree please???  

DB had to go to his CPAP appointment he had moved to today (at 1:30)

Bubba is still running a temp.  Nathan had a migraine.  They were both home, AGAIN....

I slept from about 3am to 9am.... 

It's X-FILES NIGHT!!!!!!

Shila had an appt where her therapist came and got her and got her started with some help to maybe get some training for a job. 

I pet battled a lot ....

Finally got Bubba into the DR...  I am checking him in and I look over... and Nana and Bubba are almost identical... lol

Thursday: 

Slept from 7am to 4pm ... 

Shila appt w/Lawyer (new one) at 10:40am...  Nana took her...

Bubba is feeling better

All the kids are home (even Noah)....  Nathan is having migraine issues... 

I am clearly watching too many murder shows ...  from a photography stand-point...  I thought this was cool (pic of my TV)

Friday:  

Slept from 2am to 3am and then was up until 5am, back to sleep until 9am....

I woke up not feeling well - I've had this ongoing sinus infection since November 11th.  Lately I'm losing my voice now too ...  and I have this horrible smell in my nose from the infection.  I *NEED* to get in and get checked out again ... since, I thought I had a doctors appt on this day with DB but I didn't - it was just him. 

Nathan woke up at 4am and came in our room and woke me up.  He's got 102 temp and complaining about a headache & sore throat. 

Took him to Dr. V  - he has strep also... 

TACO BAR for dinner! 

Saturday: 

Slept from 1am to 11am - up from 4am to 5am because of Nate waking up

Pet Battled the day away ....

Not feeling well - ended up being in bed all day and not at my desk. 

Sunday:

I fell asleep around 6:40am to about 11:30am  - napped from about 3 to 4pm....

Cal started running a fever - he's gonna have strep now too... 

DB went to the bar for the game....  Vikings Choked .... ::: sigh ::::

Cal's temp