15 ... He's turning 15 ...

15 years ago, I was huge ... I had this massive sized watermelon belly ...  I was excited and terrified.   When I got pregnant with him, I suffered a miscarriage, and a month later I found out I was at least 8 weeks pregnant, it had been his twin I had lost.. which had been heartbreaking for me, because I suffered in silence, I didn't really tell anyone.  But the pregnancy symptoms never went away and when I went in I found out I was still pregnant, I was heartbroken all over again, and thrilled.  His Dad and I were already engaged, and our wedding was just a little over a month away by the time I found out he had hung on while I miscarried his twin.  A month later, I started cramping really bad, and I remember how I was absolutely terrified that I was going to lose the baby.  It was about 2 in the morning and I called my mom crying, she told me to call the DR and call her back, when I told her the DRs wanted me to lay on my side and just stay laying down, she said she'd come sit with me, bring me some 7-up... 7-up, our answer to make anyone feel better... lol...  luckily by the time my ex-husband got home from work, the cramps had stopped. The day I married his Dad, I was 12 weeks pregnant, and we had just heard the heartbeat for the first time the day before.  I was absolutely CONVINCED already, it was a girl.  We hadn't told his family yet, however, some of my family decided to talk about it at the wedding, making things slightly awkward.

It's me on my wedding day ......... with my husband........ Dr. Pepper....Dr. Pepper being my husband, not the actual guy I married (ha ha ha)

I was so sick with him, my blood pressure was spiking higher then what my DR wanted, I was told I was border-line Pre-Eclampsic through most of my pregnancy.   All I remember thinking was, in the face of my heartbreak, maybe it was a good thing I didn't carry both the babies, I actually wondered if it would have killed me.  It probably wouldn't have, however....  it felt like it at the time.

9 months hit and ..... my water was leaking (not according to the DRs though) ... and I was having a lot of contractions but nothing that did a whole lot... but everytime I went into the hospital ... they...sent...me...home....

Notice the hospital bracelet adoring my lovely wrist!  Then my Christmas Day due date came and went... and I was still pregnant come new years.  I was NOT a happy camper come New Years ... let me tell you!   January 4th I went in for an ultrasound and found out that there was little to no water surrounding the baby and they wanted to induce that night.   So I ended up getting in at 6pm and I was having contractions, but they were barely there.  They put in a suppository to "ripen" my cervix and my contractions REALLY started.  They never did put any pitocin in the IV drip.  I labored until about 2am... it was then, that sitting in the chair I managed to close my eyes for 45 minutes.  Towards the end of it, I was in that half wake/half sleep ... and I remember hearing the nurse come in and check the tape from the monitor.... and she said "her contractions stopped, we'll let her rest and induce her in the morning" ..... and I went back to sleep.  My mom says, it was then that my ex-husband and his mother decided to take a walk, and they couldn't have been to the elevator when my eyes SHOT wide open  and the contractions started to rip holes in my body from the inside out, I remember the pain being out of comprehension, I went into instant shock, started shaking uncontrollably and I start throwing up with every contraction...  ...  At 6am, 12 hours after getting there, I was 9 cm and ready to PUSH my guts out.  At least...... that's ... what it ... felt... like...

But after 2 hours of pushing..... there was the announcement ...... "IT'S A BOY!!"  and I thought...... OMG, put it back, I wanted a girl...........

Seriously, that's what I thought............

But then I saw this..........

And there was no way I could put him down.  Ever....

I was 19 years old, and a new Mom.  Little did I know that my happy family wasn't as happy as I thought.  We were two very young kids trying to figure out what to do with a baby of our own.  I was happy though, I love being a Mom, but I'm afraid that my ex-husband wasn't as ready as I was.   But that little boy, he was my world!!

He met all his milestones on time and other then some major fussiness in the beginning and my having gallstones, and needing surgery when he was about 6 months old.  And then, his Dad got REAL sick when he was 6 months old.  But "Joey" and I kept right on trucking.

Then my lil man turned one years old.... 

 And then 2 ...

When he was two years old, we had a major leukemia scare.  I'll never forget the horror I felt when that phone call came.  The helplessness that overtook me during his bone-marrow testing...   everything turned out well, but apparently, it was foreshadowing things to come with his brothers....

He turned 3 and got his first little girlfriend ... 

4 years old got tough, he started to show huge aggression and was diagnosed with ADHD ...  it was hard watching the compassionate little boy that I knew and love be completely unable to control his emotions or his actions.  Luckily ... we found some meds to help - and I was VERY VERY anti-medication.

Calahan started growing up at 5, becoming such a little man.... you could see his personality come through ..

At age 6, he got his wish .... he wanted to be a big brother since he was 2 and finally, he was.  Though, he wanted a little sister, he got his Noah... in a very very tiny package.

At 7, the Vikings fan rang true in his heart - and he would hear nothing else!

At 8 he was the TOP SELLER in Boy Scouts for popcorn, selling well over $1000 worth ...

At 9 ... I realized, he was REALLY growing up and around the corner, he'd be 16!

At 10 ... he became my hero!  His Dad and I had been split up and he stepped up and helped me take care of little Noah ...  that year, at the end of the year, he got a new Step-Dad .....

And the next year, at 11 ... he became a brother again. 

And at 12, he got ANOTHER brother!!

At 13 ... he broke his arm, and he is rather proud of it (now anyway!)

And 14 .... we moved to Washington ............

And now........ my baby boy is turning 15.  It's the last year that I can truly hold the reigns that he's so desperately trying to get to relax.  He'll learn to drive this year........ and next year, he can get a job.  Next year he'll be driving.  Next year, he won't be my little boy anymore, by any means.

So Calahan, just remember....... slow down.  Take a breath.  Enjoy your last years of being a "kid" and don't rush into the responsibilities of adulthood.  Go to college, join the Greek System... have fun, be a little stupid but smart enough to stay out of trouble.  Always protect yourself when it comes to girls, especially over your heart, at least until one breaks the shell.  You are a trusting soul, not everyone is as good hearted at you are, you will get hurt, you will get angry... but remember, you learn from everything that happens.  Always trust your Mom, love your step-dad because he loves you.  Be nice to everyone around you, because no matter how crappy they are to you, you can be the better person.  School sucks, but you'll understand someday, these will be the days you will enjoy the most, carefree and happy with friends.  Highschool is tough, but you'll fondly remember it, even if it wasn't so good.  And ALWAYS REMEMBER ..... girls will come and go, but your family loves you like no one else can. 




Calahan on his 15th Birthday......