Not Good.... Feeling So Not Good ...

We went to bed last night knowing that there was at least going to be a two hour delay to school today.  We woke up to school and college both being canceled.

I was like "YAY My husband gets to stay home....... "  quickly followed by "CRAP the kids are too."

It's not so bad.  I love my kids.  LOL.  My whole thing is - they have sooooooo much energy, and I have sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo little energy.  Like non-existent.  Literally.  Today I slept most of the day.

So yesterday, I called up the place where I'm supposed to get my CT scan done to try to schedule it.  I got this nice lady, and she's taking all of my information and looking me up and she says "Well we haven't gotten the referral yet, so that usually means that the doctors office is trying to get the pre-auth done."  I had been warned about this, so I wasn't totally shocked.  She told me she'd call the clinic tomorrow (today) to see where things were and call me up tomorrow (today). She asked for a good number to call me at.   The clinic was closed because of the snow.  Of course it was.

Regardless, I did get the call today and I got my CT scheduled for tomorrow.  Good.

Good.

But the kids were something else today.  Let me tell you ....... Yesterday - it was fun!! We went out and played in the snow and took pictures.  If I had more energy and knew where mittens were, we could have made a snowman.  But I didn't have the energy.   Regardless.....

I am definitely somewhere between the two of these.  Right in the middle.   I can snap at any moment.

There was a lot of playing Guess Who today.  I slept a lot too.  Cleaned a bit.  Dictated cleaning anyway ....

I didn't eat much today.  I just couldn't seem to eat and every time I did, I realized ....  I would get very nauseated after.

This is how I would love a snow day to be for us.  And maybe next time.  Maybe I'll work through whatever bug or issue this is and just finally feel better.  It would be nice, for sure.

Instead, this is about where I am......

Nathan and I have fought over my laptop today.  I really want to get into SIMS now that I have more content.  But I have to fight with Nate.  I need to get him out of the electronics and doing something other than watching YouTube.

Anyway - I did get a chance where I got on SIMS for a bit.  But I just wasn't feeling well that I let him have my laptop a lot today.   So I decided to create our family.  So this is DB, Me, Noah, Cal, Kaedyn and Nathan.  Not sure why or how the teens got to be as tall as the young adults.  So yeah.  LOL... anyway - I figured I was going to create Kale, Shila & the girls as their own family since you can only have a max of is it six? or eight?  I think it's six isn't it?  I'm having a brain fart.

Still didn't get a chance to play much.  I finished creating the family and that was about that for me.

Livvy finally stayed in her new cat bed for more than a half second.  Maybe she'll start to enjoy it now.  Probably not though, she's a cat.  There for she isn't going to do anything I think she'll do.

Feb. 6 - Feeding Tube Awareness Week ~ Day 2 ....  BLESSING.   Not only is it a blessing that this is even an option, to help Nathan gain weight that he can't seem to gain on his own because he burns whatever calories he consumes instantly breathing it seems.  But it's also a blessing because it makes giving him his large amount of meds easily.  The day of crushing pills and hiding them in frosting (no, I'm not even kidding) are over because everything just gets crushed, mixed and pushed on through.  

This was on my time hop today ........  I really love this.  The photo, the saying, everything.......

"Hey, Did You Know You Are Sick?"

Okay so I have been watching MY KITCHEN RULES ... and it has some of my favorite people like... Curtis Stone and Cat Cora!  I do love Lance Bass though ... he is a hoot on the show.  (Yes I just said hoot.  I have a migraine as I'm writing this. Leave me alone...) ...   So anyway ...  I was watching this early this morning.... and for this episode they came to the home of David Arquette and his wife Christina.  And I couldn't help but to think this....   if you didn't know, he was married to Courtney Cox (from Friends) .. and I saw him with his new wife and I was thinking .... CLEARLY he has a type, because she looks soooooooo much like Courtney it's not even funny.

I got up after the show was done to use the potty, I made the mistake of looking in the mirror... oh hellllo there ....  SO ...  here is some wee hours of the morning bed head amazement ...

Went back, still not sleepy - so I start watching The Irresistible Blueberry Farm which I taped yesterday.

Her grandmother dies and she wants to solve this one last mystery .... I guess her Grandma and her would play these games... so this one she wanted to do - one last time.  A letter she found.  She was going to deliver it.  She gets to this small town hours away, she's taking photos and she falls in the water and she's drowning and all I can think is ...... GET THE CAMERA!!!!!  IT IS FALLING ... SAVE THE CAMERA!!! Yeah ... I'm not a photographer.  And then I continued to wonder...  if anyone saved the camera.

It was a cute movie.  She's kinda sorta engaged - maybe sorta kinda about to be engaged...  and she keeps kissing this guy who is not maybe sorta even remotely engaged to.  Shame shame shame....  JUST KIDDING ... she only kissed him once after he "saved" her and then avoided kissing him until she kinda figured out what she did want.  Found she wanted something completely different than she thought ...  and she learned a few amazing things about her grandmother.

I started watching this too..........  not that I have much of an interest at all in Slenderman, but it is something my kids talk about, it's an urban legend and this was the story behind my name becoming infamous ....

Here is a bit of the SLENDER MAN  background I found HERE ... (copied and pasted)

There are legends and myths that have been around for centuries and have seared themselves into our minds and culture. Then there are those that have been brought to life by way of modern technologies reminding us of nightmares that should have been buried and forgotten. One such legend is known through internet popularity as Slender man.

The creature known as Slender man is said to have the appearance of a tall, lanky man in a black suit. Not so scary, right? 

He towers at six to seven feet with unusually thin limbs. His face, if you can call it that, is featureless and white, though some say that it can morph into whatever you fear the most. His arms, however, can stretch out to grab his victims and bend in unnatural ways with long, talon-like fingers used to scratch at the windows of children. Yes that’s right. While he haunts everyone who has the misfortune to see him, he prefers to devour those that are 16 and younger. He is also said to have multiple arms sometimes seen as long tentacles used to ensnare whomever catches his eye, or should I say, the void where his face should be.

The Silent Stalker, Slender Man

Slender man is a silent stalker that likes to hide in plain sight and is usually spotted in wooded areas where he could blend in amongst the trees and dark corners of the forest. When he finds his victim of choice, he follows them home and upon being seen through the window, can use a form of hypnosis that compels you to walk right into his spindly arms. Usually glimpsed at a distance, once he’s close enough to get a good look at, that’s when he slinks into your home appearing in dark hallways or blank t.v. screens.

American legend says that he was once a man who was tortured viciously, first being beaten with a log, then impaled with a 2 foot stick and hung from a tree with his arms and legs pulled from their sockets.

When captured, you will wake to find Slender man standing above you. He will ask one question and if you’re lucky and get it right, he breaks both your arms and legs. But if you are wrong, then he slowly sticks his fingers down your throat pulling out the heart. In circles on the internet Slender man is claimed to be the creation of a website called Somethingawful.com. Many say that this alone debunks the mysterious legend and closes the case on the creature’s fictitious existence. Well, not quite.

It appears that the Slender man myth goes back a lot farther than is claimed. He is based on something called Der Grossman, meaning “tall man”, which is the Germanic version. Legend says that children would site him in the Black Forest days before their disappearance. All that was left behind would be the mutilated remains of livestock and in a few cases, village inhabitants would be found several miles from their homes impaled on the higher branches of the trees.

Romanian Tale of Der Grossman

A Romanian folktale tells of twin sisters Sorina and Stela that were led out into the woods one day by their mother. They could see Der Grossman close by, waiting dressed as a nobleman, his arms boneless as snakes and sharp as swords. The mother, under the order of the creature, told her daughter Stela to cut a circle in the ground with a knife and have Sorina lay down in the middle to be cut open. Stela refused and ran home to hide under her bed. When their father returned home, his terrified daughter told him what had transpired and he then went into the forest to track down the twins’ mother. The girl fell asleep to be awakened by a knock on the door. “Open the door, it’s your father,” a voice said. The girl refused. “Open the door it’s your mother,” the voice continued. Upon refusing once again, the door flew open to reveal the horrible sight of her mother holding the severed head of her sister Sorina in one hand and the head of her father in the other. “Why?” cried Stela. “Because,” said her mother, “there is no reward for goodness in this world, nothing but cold steel teeth and scourging fire for all of us. And it’s coming for you now.” At that moment, Der Grossman, or Slender man, slid from the fireplace clenching the surviving twin in his burning embrace. And that was the end of her.

Internet fiction or not, Slender man indeed has horrifying origins and lore from the old world. What makes this myth so fearful is the fact that to this day, people are still questioning the existence of this humanoid creature. Websites flooded with people claiming to have had sightings of him especially those that live near wooded areas. Even more terrifying is that he has been known to imitate the voice of a human calling out your name in the dark. And it seems that the more you talk about or research Slender man, the more likely you are to encounter him bringing life to a supposed legend.

All I can say is, now I have a new reason to be afraid of the dark.

In 2014 two twelve year old girls decided it would be a great idea to stab their other twelve year old friend NINTEEN TIMES trying to kill her stating that if they didn't Slender Man was going to kill their families and it was their way of protecting their families.   Of course, this happened in Wisconsin too.

I think Slender Man is best known for the character on Minecraft.  I'm not sure if I heard of the urban legend prior to the game - or not .... but yeah.  It's ... weird.

Anyway - the girls did it, they both immediately admitted it (I think) and they were just weird about it all.  I thought it was the other girl who initiated it ... but no, it was the girl that I share a name with.  Thank god mine isn't spelled the same.  just KILLS me....

Anyway - I fell asleep during it - ahahahahahahhahahahahaa.....

So I got up this morning - to go to my doctors appointment, and I opened my door to find this girl sitting in my doorway.  Usually she's downstairs with my step-dad and Jaxson is ...  Ely Mae has been coming upstairs more when my Step-Dad is gone to work, but he was home.  So it was a bit odd.  Love this girl though.

I got ready to go to the Doctors....... meh......

So my mom took me to the DR so that DB could go to class and I wasn't driving around a bunch.  I just haven't been doing well at all (health wise) and I haven't lost weight.  I hate that I gained 25lbs once I went back on the insulin.  I keep trying to tell myself that it's worth it to have my blood sugar under control at least better.  I can say I'm maintaining though.  It just sucks because one year ago I was down to the 190's and was SO HAPPY to be out of the 200's for the first time since I was pregnant with Calahan (so 20 years!) and I swore I would NOT get back into them, and here I am ... back into them.

I lost the weight, I desperately wanted the the damn diabetes to just go with it.  Nope.

Anyway ..  I did lose one pound.  Instead of 217 I was 216.  I had a low-grade temp of 99.6.  My blood pressure was 130/80.   We didn't really address anything other than the Pancreatitis and how it hasn't really gone away.  So I thought anyway.  He told me that my last set of tests, the enzymes were normal so I had come out of it.  So I tell him how I'm feeling, how it's hurting, what is going on...  I tell him how my right side is hurting and it's wrapping around to my back.  Anyway - after a million questions, I kinda got yelled at for not going to the hospital on the 1st when I threw up.  So he wants me drinking only water or 7up for two days.  After that he wants me to slowly introduce jello and broth into my diet ...  This was something I did NOT want to do.  I do not do well when I can't eat.  He ordered a CT stat...  as soon as the can get me in. I got more blood work in.  And he's referring me to gastroenterology.

My Mom was all "I'm gonna be on your ass now" ... lol .. thanks Mom.  She's retired for one day and she's already taking over.  LOL ....

Went home and was just feeling like crap.  I came home, took a nap.  DB ended up coming home... he's worried about me.  He stopped, got my meds... brought them home.

When it was time to pick up the Littles from school, I went with.  I ended up sleeping most of the time I was in the van.  It was hard because I feel like I barely even get out of my room and yet whenever I do, I am so very crazy worn out.  I have so very little energy. The only way I can conserve my energy and mostly function is to just hang out in bed most of the day.  I can push myself through a lot of stuff... but sometimes, I just can't.  And when I can't, my body just shuts down and I sleep.  I don't want to sleep during the day, because at night when I take my pills and hurt a little less, if I have slept - I can't sleep.  Either I am sleeping all the time, or I can't sleep until I hit the wall of exhaustion.

It's raining today ....  typical Washington weather ...

So I got home and I pulled all my nausea pills out of their blister packs and put them in the pill bottle, because when my stomach is rolling, the last thing I want to do is fight with a blister pack.

Of course my Jaxson is loyally by my side.  I love this dog.  I really do.

Later into the evening I start feeling better.

SIMS 4 got another update.  We got a new shirt for an Anniversary gift for SIMS being around for 17 years now!  Woot.  Also got a new loading screen.

My Mom got the boys their Valentines cards.   Nathan picked out this one....

Kaedyn picked out this one....  

And she got them some stickers too.

Cal helped me get med ready tonight, and when he was getting the air out of the med syring for Nathan, he got it all over the ceiling ......... oops! LOLOL 

So I ended up falling asleep around 7pm.  When I woke up a couple hours later, I sat up and I saw....  Marshmallow fluff?  Really?   Where did that come from??  

I've been having a Supernatural marathon binge today....

I finished up SEASON ONE....

16 "Shadow"
17 "Hell House"
18 "Something Wicked"
19 "Provenance"
20 "Dead Man's Blood"
21 "Salvation"
22 "Devil's Trap"

And started SEASON TWO ...

23 1 "In My Time of Dying"

I have to say that I'm pretty sure I never watched the first season.  Like, I don't remember any of it.  I love the Winchester boys, I always have.  Even after I stopped watching it.  I didn't stop watching it because I didn't like the show anymore...  I just didn't like that it had less and less to do with the paranormal stuff, like the urban legends and the ghosts, etc... but it turned into more of a biblical horror ...  and two, every year one of them dies.  It always happens, and SOMEHOW they come back from the dead. It started to feel like a soap opera .... only you don't have to wait ten years for your favorite character to finally come back. I thought this all started in the later seasons, the dying repeatedly thing....

I really hope that I'm not going to be asleep forever tonight....

Happy Friday the 13th! and a lot of SIMS

Let's first address the fact that it's.......

Woohooooooooo one of my favorite days of the year!  Whenever it hits!  It just so happens that today is ALSO my best friend's birthday.  Of course J is having a really rough go of it this year...  she's still in the depths of the most gut wrenching grief possible.

She's been waiting and waiting and waiting for the funeral home to call to say they can come and pick up their baby's ashes in the little blue shoe urn they picked out.   Every day for a little while now she would mention how she was hoping that they would call to tell her they could go pick him up.  So of course, they called yesterday - after they were done running around for the day - to say they could go pick him up.

So they weren't going to go back out right then - so they decided to pick him up today, on her birthday of all days.  ......  Happy Birthday!  Here is your dead baby!   (she said that, I'm not being crass)

But in a way .... it is kinda a gift.  I know how much better she'll feel just to have him home, with her.  Yeah, it's his ashes, but it's HIM.  He belongs with her..... breaks my heart too.

I spent my sleepless moments early on writing her a very heartfelt message of how I feel about her.

"I know you said today was going to be awful, and you basically wanted to forget today was your birthday, so I am here to remind you. Please make sure your seat belt is fastened and remember to keep your arms and legs inside at all times, this may be a bumpy ride. 15 years ago, we met. I shamelessly pursued you, demanding you be my new BFF (the old model wasn't around much and would eventually be abducted by aliens, never to be heard from again, because how could anyone ever want to stop being friends with me?) Like all amazing relationships it feels like we've known each other forever, and feels like we just met yesterday. We have been through major life events together.. preemies, pregnancies, miscarriages, TTC, babies, divorces, Internet long distance dating, marriages, deaths, a fire, crazy drama filled friends, a psycho neighbor, moves, cheating, not-cheating, amazing addictive games, vacations, legal issues, custody issues, child support issues, crazy-mother-fucker ex issues, family issues, medical ups and downs, winning the lottery.....wait, crap, that was wishful thinking....scratch that one off the list... regardless. ... we have been each other's supports through the highest of highs, and the lowest of lows.. we may not always agree, or like the same things.... but when it comes down to it, our bond is stronger than chains made of the strongest metal ten inches thick. You are my rock, my life preserver, my anchor and my (sometimes) voice of reason. You are the arms that hold me tight when I can do nothing but sob, and the voice that cheers the loudest when I am soaring high. I want nothing more than your pure happiness but I am here whenever your knees are weak, holding you until you are ready to try and to stand again, staying right beside you, supporting you, reminding you that you CAN do this, you got it, until you can stand strong fully on your own again. I want nothing but your dreams coming true! Today you aren't another year older, you are just one more day older, just like everyone else on the planet.... today is just the anniversary of the day you caused your mother the greatest pain of her life because you left her womb. Today you are still the most amazing, beautiful, kind hearted, compassionate, soft hearted, intelligent, well spoken, bestestest friend in the whole world. I love you, I would still pick you as my best friend if I had to do it all over. You are and always will be my person. I wish you felt as special today and as you are to me. I could not imagine my life without you. Seriously. Happy Womb Exodus Day."

I sent it to her, I know she doesn't even really want to acknowledge her birthday at all.  She just doesn't care at the moment.  But I feel as if I need to tell her today - just how important she is to me.  I am so honored to be her best friend, and to have her as my best friend.  We literally talk about anything and everything.  She is my person.  (Those who watch Grey's knows what that means.)

So she did end up picking him up and bringing him home to her.  She said that her, her hubby, and both my nieces kissed the little shoe urn before they put him in the safe place where they are keeping him and all the little mementos they have at the moment.

Moving on .... Nathan looks so sweet when he's sleeping.  Regardless, he's feeling better so he's going to school today.  Today is his swimming day, and he loves the days that he gets to go on the bus to the YMCA for swimming.

So today I continued the rest .... and all both of our cats, and Jaxson kept me company.

DB had put the pill case infront of Alyvia because he's like "don't cross this line Jax" ... but really, if he gets near her at all she starts to hiss at him and bat at him with her paw.  He totally leaves her alone, lol... but she just doesn't like him.  Little hissy.  Marshmellow, though, is just like ... you leave me alone, I'll leave you alone.  But he makes Alyvia very uneasy.  But she tolerates being near him, as long as he's not too close to her....

I sent this picture to DB because their paws are touching.  LOL.  He had come up at one point and said that pretty soon we're going to find out Marshmellow curled up with him.

DB only has one class today, Cal doesn't have classes on Friday at all.  So they are both here helping today.  I have Cal getting some cleaning done.  Sucks I can't get out of bed much.  I'm dealing with the pain from the pancreatitis okay, not taking many pain pills now, just cuz I don't like taking them during the day if I don't need them.  So as long as I don't move around much, the busted foot and the busted organs are okay.

I'm really proud of DB ...  I just have to say that.  He's getting it done.  He's following through.  He's feeling better (with his Fibro) and is learning how to control it and live with the constant suckass that Fibro is.  I did that for 18 years ... and then BAM, I just can't deal very well anymore.  This flare up, I'm pretty sure just isn't going to go away.  I'm not lazy, I wish I could get up and do things that I want to do - like the cleaning and laundry and everything else.  Even just sitting downstairs.  It suck that I spend most of my life in bed right now.  But it is what it is.  I want to go back to school now ... but I'm just not sure I can handle it.  I need more spoons and less pain and fatigue.

But there was a lot of SIMMING going on today!

So last night I left Alyvia and her husband with the twin girls, Bella & Bekah.  Her and Trace were enjoying teaching their girls to walk, and talk, and potty training ....  even Alyvia's sister Aubrey was helping out while she wasn't working on being a straight A student in high school.

But wait......  Alyvia is pregnant again!!

Between taking care of the girls, and everything else, she found a little time to paint here and there.

But you can give the Toddlers a bath or even a bubble bath...

But I discovered that the toddlers could get up on the furniture....

 They even get into trouble by playing in the toilet ...

 The look on her face (ROFLMBO)

This is when I found Bekah upstairs and thought someone took her upstairs ...(but really she went up there herself)

The toddlers can DANCE too!!   It's pretty awesome!  We have dance parties now!

Potty training!

Sitting around chatting....

Teaching them to talk ....

So the bigger dollhouse is the one that was in game for the older kids.... the smaller one was added with the toddlers.... but the toddlers (and everyone else) can play with either one.

Alyvia is having the baby!!  Oh boy!!!

No really ... oh BOY!!   They had a boy, and his name is Boyd.

Needless to say, they didn't wait six weeks ...  (cough cough) ....

Look who's pregnant again ......

She tells Trace, and the look on his face....  I could not stop laughing!!!

Daddy and Boyd time!

Getting ready to tuck the girls into bed.

Feeding the girls (peas)

Boyd is aged up.  All three of the kids....  Boyd, Bekah and Bella.   Boyd has the Charmer trait.  Bekah has the Independent and Bella has the Inquisitive trait.  Bekah is all over the place, she explores and I will find her in funny places.  Like in the girls room upstairs, playing with the big stuffed dragon or the doll house upstairs.  She likes to just run around.  Bella is really interested in learning and she tries to learn stuff on her own too.  However, she gets really sad if there isn't a parent around.  When the kids get sad or angry, they do special little things.  Like, when they are sad you have the option of them crying because of this or that.  When they are angry, the have the option of throwing a temper tantrum.

Alyvia is VERY pregnant...

Her back hurts a lot during this pregnancy.  Here she is potty training Boyd.

Here is Bekah coming down the stairs in the house.

All three kids playing outside in their little play area just outside of their room.

So you have the option of hiring a "Nanny" too.  They come and introduce themselves as Nanny So-and-So.

Alyvia is ready to have the baby ....

The kids (Bella) asked her to teach her something.  Bekah watching and Boyd is running around.

Brynn is born....

And Brooke!

I think I'm gonna have to start up their story on my SIMS blog!! Now that I'm playing again.

So I'll do that now, instead of here.

But that's where I ended for the night.

I am really happy with the way they did the toddlers.  It's a lot of fun and definitely more things to do than in SIMS 3.

I did finally download some custom content.  I only have the base game at the moment, so I don't have a lot of choices.  But something I download make the body invisible.  Ha...  *sigh* ... crap.  So I have to fix that ...   So Mom & Dad got some new looks.