The Bachelorette - Jillian - Episode Two

It’s time for the WEEK 2 Bachelorette Review… dah-da-da…

(I have 5 pages of notes! Oye!) … This is who was left after last weeks eliminations …

So her first choice, via the FIRST IMPRESSION ROSE was David… Then in order, Jacob, Jesse, Wes, Mathue, Michael, Robert, Ed, Reid, Simon, Kiptyn, Mike, Brian (screams in horror), Sasha, Julien, Tanner P (vomits), Mark, Brad, Tanner F, Juan …

So we start off with this was my top 3 from last week…

And now … humm I wonder if that changes when I change it? Guess we’ll find out – just incase, I took a screen shot! HA!! (Answer: It does automatically change so I put my screen shot up!) Anyway …

The guys move into their “bunk” and Jillian moves into the mansion … now, why does this show have double standards? LOL… oh I figured it out. In the Bachelor the guys get a mansion (or at least a nice house) and the girls get a mansion … drama ensues no matter how many rooms they have to hide in. In the Bachelorette … they guys have a “bunk house” while the woman stays in the mansion. Now… why? Well because guy will ignore each other – but in a little tiny hut with bunks (basically) and an outdoor shower – they are really forced to deal with one another. Ha ha ha…

1^st Date – “The Race for Jillian’s Heart”

* Michael * Brian * Brad * Sasha * Tanner P * Wes * Ed * Mathue *

So you have the break dancer, foot fetish creepy guy, country musican, “smart & handsome” gas guy, asshole frat boy, corny financial advisor, personal trainer, and tech geek. Nice mix!

Right away stupid ass Brian is on my nerves yelling “what’s up hottie” .. I mean give me a break .. then it was followed up by an exaggerated tongue roll … I’m surprised he didn’t do a sly “want to be my Canadian lover” comment after that, but he managed to contain himself much to my surprise. So they have a pool party, Michael got the first one on one time before Jillian took the rose and left. It seemed to go well, but the guy just strikes me as oddly immature yet. Jillian took the rose and left, much to the guys bewilderment and speculation … and then Chris came in to let the guys know that they were about to embark on a wild goose Jillian chase! They were instructed to get into the designated pairs and begin “The Race for Jillian’s Heart” … it was missing it’s own game show announcer and theme music though.

Pairs: Michael & Tanner

Brad & Wes

Ed & Brian

Sasha & Mathue

My first thought…. Poor Ed being stuck with frat boy Brian. I mean at this point, I even think Tanner is better and Tanner makes me want to vomit in my mouth with his whole foot fetish thing. I mean – seriously – to each their own, but don’t make me WATCH it!! Then you watch the guys all do this mad dash for these buckets full of keys and 4 lock boxes (one for each pair) and you are suppose to go through all these keys and find the right one for the lock box…. However… THESE ARE MEN…. They have no patience! Lock boxes go flying, broken in any way or fashion, and they are off!

1^st Clue: Find your way to location #1 where you’ll make a quick change, look for the flag & proceed to the alley…

This clue sets all the guys in a tizzy. Some start off by going in the wrong direction – obviously no one read the clue and/or even noticed they were given a map! Ha ha … During all this – Michael made me laugh and Brad just came off as cocky, annoying and arrogant. ARGH!

Michael & Tanner were the last to leave the house, and the last to show up on the spot for the first clue. These guys were stopping at random places, looking for “anything” that could symbolize Jillian. The first team to figure it out and get there was Ed & Brian. 2^nd went to Brad & Wes and 3^rd to Sasha & Mathue.

2^nd Clue: If you want to win Jillian’s heart you’ll have to lay it all out on the line.

(meaning they had to check the kitchen line for their next clue) … one team was outside checking out the line in the area they parked. It was amusing.

3^rd Clue: My “Best Friends” are waiting for you down the street. Head through the front doors & turn left. If you can’t find the flag, ask Neil for directions.

Brad & Wes were the first to find the clue in the kitchen, and first off. They decided to “drive” to find it. Then it was followed up by Ed & Brian, Sasha & Mathue, and then Michael & Tanner.

They go to the jewelry store (get it – diamonds are a girls best friend) … Ed & Brian picking out the first of 4 necklaces Jillian liked best and going off with their next clue, then Sasha & Mathue got 2^nd choice, Brad & Wes got third pick which was hilarious – Brad liked the thick gaudy (in my taste) necklace and Wes liked the cleaner simpler one, Brad got his pick and they moved on. Michael & Tanner again, came in last.

The 4^th clue: It’s time to put a spring in your step. Look for the rose, I’ll be waiting.

They had already been told that Jillian would have to pick one guy from the winning team – to have a private one on one date with. Brad and Wes were the first to figure out that “Spring” was a hint to the street – they had also been given a stop watch with numbers on it, and putting it together, figure out that was the address. So off they went on foot… and got there first.

As Wes showed Jillian the necklace he totally said the pick had been Brad’s and Brad put the necklace on her. Brad said (during a interview) that he was the only “brains” of the operation so hands down she would be picking him. She picked Wes. Brad then started to throw a temper tantrum like a little 3 year old who didn’t get the right color sucker!

I wonder, why don’t these guys like Wes? Threat maybe??? Then I realize, THEY all think he’s only there to further his music career.

During the one on one dinner, SHE went in for the kiss – first kiss I’ve seen on the show – she gave it to Wes. She also gave him the rose, which by this time all the guys figured out they could “watch” on a little monitor that was in the room. They all groaned at that…

Of course Wes getting a rose meant that HE got to move into the house with Jillian and stay in one of the rooms there.

I like Wes but there is some odd vibe he throws off – it may just be the “bad boy musician” thing … he maybe a little closed off yet … I donno, we’ll see. And Brad just continued to throw his temper tantrum.

The One on One date card arrived, for Jake (the pilot), and read “I’m looking for a guy that can cut loose.”

So when she showed up for the date (er… walked down from the big house to the peasant place?) she was wearing the wings that Jake had given her, I thought that was awful cute. They got to the western store and Jake was funny, they got awful kinky touchy feely at the store but it was nice to see him be comfortable with her and with himself to brush all those “first date” anxieties away. They had a great time and he suddenly moved up on my list!

They ended up going to the House of Blues – Jillian had to play the whole jump on the bar and do the Coyote Ugly thing – it was off set by her asking him if he could see up her skirt, and she sorta tucked it between her knees. LOL… he made a comment that “he was a good boy and didn’t look up her skirt” (and he totally could have! LOL)… She went to teach him some two step and said he took her by surprise because he knew it a lot better then her and taught HER a few things. They had a WOW kiss captured by Jake – while Jillian was in the middle of talking…. It was a surprise attack – but Jillian liked it) … Martina McBride sang – he said “we got to dance as an icon of country music and Jillian and I moved so well that I forgot Martina was on stage!”

Awwwwwwwwwwww … That grasped my heart and I literally went “awww” that really struck me as sweet and I do really like Jake.

He of course, also, got a rose meaning he got to move up to the big house too, with Wes.

2^nd Group Date card: * Jesse * Mark * David * Mike * Simon * Kiptyn * Juan *

So…….. the pizza guy, the even planner ketchup only man, the 1^st impression rose shy guy, Bond 007, the whine wine maker, “good catch” pick up liner, and the Juan man…

Which meant that … * Julien * Tanner F * Robert * and Reid * didn’t get dates.

So they get to where they are going (basketball court) and then Jillian proudly proclaims “shirts off boys!” and they all oblige her. She then oogles their goodies and proclaims it a good day for her. LOL … while playing this “I’ll show you up” game – Juan picks Jillian up to take a shot and he drops her (or she mis-steps when he puts her down and she falls) … WTH!?!? LOL… you don’t DROP the girl, your fault or not (Juan moves down a notch or two now) … BUT when the Harlem Globetrotters were there, and during this slaughter game with the guys called Jillian down and “played” with her a little bit… lol… they picked her up and told her to hang on, leaving her hanging at the rim… well it was Juan who went and got her down (no one else budged and it looked like they were all starring like “huh?” at her… lol) … The Globetrotters gave David their vote.

They then went to sit on the beach and Jillian was making a joke that if one of them went and got a guys swim suit – and ran into the ocean – it would be all over (ha ha ha) … so Mike bared it all and did just that – ran into the ocean in a speedo! So they left the beach and were all sitting together … they got some shots (or something) … and went to have a “toast” and David claims Juan dumped out his shot and “faked it” … then David proceeded to throw a fit about it and said he (Juan) should be tied to a tree and beat up to some of the other guys (because Jillian had pulled Juan off for a one on one) … he said that he went against “man code” and just say you didn’t want to drink it instead of faking it, and that Juan is just there to “put on a show”… meanwhile, Juan and Jillian held hands and had a kiss.

Then she had pulled Kiptyn away for a one on one … I don’t know if I like him as much anymore. The way he talked about “what he’s looking for” or how he envisions his “wife”, just bothered me. Especially the phrase “high level of what I want.” And the fact that he’s never had his heart broken, he’s always been the heart breaker makes you go hummmm too… Jillian then said that she doesn’t care what they talk about, she just wants to make out with him, and did.

Mike got the date rose, she said she was sitting there joking about something and he got up and did it and that left an impression on her.

Then came the Rose Ceremony …

Right away I was forced to watch Tanner P almost (or maybe it was totally) FORCEFULLY get his hands on Jillian’s feet. Now, at least Jillian sees that it’s more then just “cute” that he likes her feet but it didn’t seem to bother her all that much. Wes coming and breaking up Robbie & Jillian’s one on one time JUST when Robbie was starting to talk left a bad taste in my mouth. I understand the whole “it’s no time to put on the breaks just because I have a rose, it’s time to step on the gas” thing – but geez…

Then David yet AGAIN decided to have a temper tantrum about someone (this time Wes) – can we say jealous much? And that look he gave Jillian when Wes hugged her (when David butting into their one on one time) …. this look – right here … I took a picture of my TV! LOL…

OMG – it just screamed “I’m going to grow up and be your stalker someday!”

Robby was gripping about Wes not making a point to befriend the guys, so Wes made the comment “I’m not here to date you” .. it’s true. It is up to him to show that he’s just there for Jillian – or like most the other guys, there for Jillian but hey we’ll have fun with each other while we’re here. There is no “wrong” way to go about it – but it shows a lot about personality. Wes is apparently very focused on the goal. Now – if Wes were there to further his career – would he really have such moments where he comes off as an ass? If I were there to further my career – I would be sucking up to everyone, I mean one more person to buy his CD (or what not) … is one more sale, which might lead to more. Ya know?

Then the Ballet Box came out … seriously – David and his “man code” have got to go. Anyone have a drat gun so I can shoot him between his eyes???

As everyone was writing down the name of the guy who they all wanted to go home THAT NIGHT – there was a group (including Jillian) out by the pool – and – Brian decided it was a good time to strip down to NOTHING (he literally striped right infront of the whole crowd) Now … I realize that takes some balls … but from what was said, he didn’t have much. And I suddenly realized, at that moment – that he reminded me of a stupid cocky FRAT BOY! At the age of 32, I don’t think that acting like an immature FRAT boy who is more interested about being the “life of the party” is appropriate. FOCUS MAN – I don’t like you – but you are there for JILLIAN not to get naked on TV so your twig and berries show!

So … the results of the ballet box were, in 3^rd place – Julien, 2^nd – Dave, and 1^st went to Juan. (The only reason Wes wasn’t in it was because he already had a rose) … Jillian was then told that if she wanted to, she could present Juan a rose at that moment, and save him, or let him leave at that moment. She of course, wanted him to stay – so he got the 4^th rose.

So, the roses went to …

Wes (on the first group date), Jake (one on one date), Mike (2^nd group date), Juan (to save him), Jesse, David (cry baby), Ed, Sasha, Mark, Michael, Tanner P (vomits), Kiptyn, Reid, Robbie, Tanner F, and Brad (cry baby).

Julien, Brian (yay!!), Simon (bye bye Bond), and Mathue all went home.

You can tell, clearly, that I do not like Tanner P – his whole foot thing creeps me out. I mean seriously – I don’t want to see your fetish on TV – CONTROL YOURSELF MAN! And Brad and David are just freaking cry babies. At least Brad HAD something (very little) to whine about, but David is just angry angry man!! What happened to that shy guy who stumbled over his words and all that??? Makes you wonder if it was an act.

Seriously!!

My top 4 pick for this week… hummmmm…

Jake, Wes, Juan, Kiptyn (in that order now)

Current Picks:

The Bachelorette - Jillian - Episode One

So it’s time for my Jillian Harris THE BACHELORETTE recap/review – whatever. Just call me obsessed!

So…. It was a lovely 2 hours of ogling guys. (Eh… I don’t mean that honey!) …

We all loved her while bidding for Jason’s attention on last season of The Bachelor (which btw, I was totally called Jillian and Melissa in the end – Molly was okay but I thought for sure that Melissa was the one for him, and I don’t think that he and Molly are going to truly last, and if they do and prove me wrong, then YAY for them! I loved Jason and hope nothing but him and Ty having a great life with someone who can be there for them.)

ANYWAY … back to Jillian.

We all loved her hot dog beliefs … If you haven’t heard it, please watch this…

Okay, so I totally, after that episode, asked Dennis “What is the first thing that you put on your hot dog?” and he thought about it for a minute, said “Mustard, then Ketchup, then whatever else” I was like “yay!!!” Which is a great thing in Jillian’s Hot Dog Philosophy!! Here is this season’s run down, all about Jillian, her journey & the small season sneak peek

I have to put a note in here…. When being interviewed she referred to her “Mr. Right” as “Mr. Invisible” … humph .. I donno if I like that, I mean, we all want Jillian to find love, but maybe coming into the show with “Mr. Invisible” on her shoulder isn’t a good thing??

So, She met her 25 bachelors this week…. (scratch) …. I mean 30!! Yep that is right, because there was such an overwhelming response to Jillian being chosen at the Bachelorette, the powers that be chose to allow an additional 5 guys into the mix for the first time.

I took my normal notes as I watched the show (something that annoys Dennis to no end, and when he started gripping about it, I totally threatened to delete every episode of 24 on the DVR … needless to say, he stopped!) …

So… let’s get to it, right? In order of introduction….(to the viewer not to her)

Kiptyn – 31 … from Encinitas, CA – he’s a Business Developer/Event Planner. First Impressions: very sweet – she called him for a 1 on 1 instead of him cornering her for one, which is a sure sign that she liked something about him. He seems very real. He was the ONLY one I heard her ask the hot dog question to, and his answer – Ketchup Only.

Michael – 25 … from Astoria, NY. He is a “Break Dance Instructor” … and seems to brag about it. Eh… k… to each their own, right? … I thought he was a fast talker and funny. He did a “Break Dance Off” with another guy and apparently (according to the other guys) kicked his butt .. however… the guy who he was competing with, totally said he won. Me – I say – it was a lil old school for my taste. LOL… I would much rather have a man’s hands on ME then on the floor, or legs flying around – but that’s just me.

Julien – 34 – San Diego, CA … he’s a Restaurateur. The only thing that I wrote was that he was nervous and their names – LOL … (Julie, Jillian .. yeah) … apparently he didn’t make too much of an impression on me.

Stephen – 30 – New York, NY – Lawyer….. my only note: “Cocky” … what lawyer isn’t, really?

Juan – 35 – Santa Monica, CA – General Contractor … he has a Family Business with his Mother and he seems super sweet. I really liked him, got a great vibe from him. I hope he makes it to the end. I liked him on first intro, and I liked him in the house (He got two stars and was the only one) …

Mark – 26 – Denver, CO … Pizza Entrepreneur … I wrote “Cute, Funny, did the hot dog thing with pizza toppings” … yeah he totally said “your hot dog thing, I am going to turn it around and ask you what your favorite pizza toppings are” and she listed it off and then went “so what does that mean?” and he totally couldn’t back it up, he said “I don’t know, find me inside and I’ll think of something” or something along those lines. LOL…

Kyle – 26 – Brooklyn, NY … Graphic Designer …. (::cough::GEEK:::cough:::) My notes: Man Purse!?!? TALL – eh – OMG he went the wrong way walking into the house!! He totally drew a mustache on her finger – said all his friends had tattoos just like that (so they could then stick their finger up to their face and have a mustache ::: rolling eyes ::: ) Yeah… and when I say “GEEK” I do not mean it as a bad thing, okay, I’m married to a geek, 100% totally geekified! There could even be arguments about me being labeled as such. But there are good “Geeks” and bad “Geeks” and this guy just made me think of the “You totally give good geeks a bad name” … Oh and lets not forget the round house kick to knock off the water bottle off another guy’s head… seriously – dude?!?

Sasha – 27 – Tiki Island, TX – Oil & Gas Consultant (::cough:: asshole!) … They did an interview with his mom, and I kid you not – the only two words his mom could come up with to describe him were “handsome” and “smart” … ah… I donno if that says worse for him or his mom!!

Wes – 32 – Austin, TX – Country Musician … Cowboy Boots (always a plus) … Confident but nervous – got slightly drunk, but sang to her … awww.. said he couldn’t finish the song cuz it wasn’t finished, he had to see how it all played out first.

Greg “Billbro” – 34 – Scottsdale, AZ – Professional Fitness Model, Entrepreneur … my only thought on him was that he hugged her – TWICE – and I felt it was just a way for him to get his hands on her. Yeah us girls like hugs and affection but to be hugged like that 2 seconds after meeting says “presumptuous” to me…

Jacob “Jake” – 31 – Dallas, TX – Commercial Pilot … He seems very sweet, I mean “WOW!” pause “You are beautiful” is ALWAYS a great start!! He was the first 1 on 1 (dragged her off) and he gave her “wings!” … awwww…

Tanner F – 28 – Derby, KS – Sales Representative – nervous but sweet, very sweet!

John P – 29 – South Norwalk, CT – Marking Specialist … my only comment, and I quote “Eh?” LOL

Bryan – 28 – Lawton, KS – High School Teacher/Coach … “All I want to do is just sweep you off your feet” as he scoops her up… again, a little in my bubble in the first two minutes, but ya know… sweet… I guess?

Brian – 32 – Atlanta, GA – IT Consultant – he made comments like “Hot Tub Harris” .. not exactly something to say .. I mean literally get out of the limo and slur the words “Hot Tub Harris” when that wasn’t exactly one of her proudest moments, might have been one of his one handed moments – by ya know! … Then he says “Sexy Minx” and other derogatory comments. I mean they were out and out “put you in your spot, let me take off my pants” kind of comments. GO HOME BRIAN I DO NOT LIKE YOU!!

David – 27 – Dayton, OH – Trucking Contractor….. OMG he totally stammered and had so much awkward silence! But it was in a cute sort of way, if that makes sense. He was GREAT during their 1 on 1 in the house – he totally made fun of himself, which put that situation at ease and made her just go aww… he got THE FIRST IMPRESSION ROSE! He is SAFE!

Robert “Robby” – 25 – Spring, TX – Bartender …. Seriously – my only thought was, DON’T DO IT…. I totally did it – don’t go there!! Only – ah … mine was a 26 yr old Bartender named Brad.. but close enough. (I was 29 at the time too, to funny!) … I have to give Brad credit though, he helped bring me out of my divorce, I’m nothing but a used woman shell and helped bring me back to life. For that I toast him – THANKS BRAD! (Disclaimer: He is now married and has a son with her, and barely talks to me although we are “friends” … that is a long story!)

John H – 27 – Boise, ID – Branding Consultant …. Seems sweet… (yep that’s it)

Brad (gah!) – 27 – Chicago, IL – Financial Advisor…. My only note: “Called himself Corny” … hummmm

Mathue – 26 – Wichita, KS – Personal Trainer … he showed up in a autographed Cowboy Hat and had her sign it… LOL… hummm… I donno if that’s sweet or .. weird.

Simon – 26 – Bradford, England – Soccer Coach …. Okay, since he’s from England and TOTALLY has a Bond accent … does that mean it’s REALLY a “Football” Coach??? And OMG he is freakin TALL …

Jesse – 27 – Carmel Valley, CA – Wine Maker … Okay, Jesse, we will try not to hold anything against you since your name is Jesse and you didn’t choose it – ya know – since the last Bachelorette was swept off her feet by a Jesse who it didn’t work out with and blah blah blah… I thought he was sweet, I think it’s cool he makes wine though, even though I don’t’ drink the stuff, I am fascinated with vineyards! Anyway … he butted in for the 2^nd 1 on 1 (totally butted in) … and had a shirt that read “Aspiring Canadian” under his dress shirt. At least he doesn’t have her name bedazzled on his swim speedo like one of the guys last season!

Adam – 27 – Long Beach, CA – Olympic Cyclist …. He blatantly asked for the first 5 minutes with her when they got inside, I’m not sure he even got any 1 on 1 time!

Caleb – 27 – Nashville, TN – Photographer – he dressed down but was cute…

Josh – 25 – Newport Beach, CA – Lifeguard…. Eh, auditioning for the re-make of Baywatch? I’m sure he is lusted after by all the fake boobed botox injected bottle blondes on the beach. I don’t think he’s ready for a REAL relationship given his “occupation” and “age” put together. Just my opinion.

Ed – 29 – Chicago, IL – Technology Consultant…. … um… that’s all I know because this started the “surprise new guy” section of the surprise five!

Bryce – 31- Ft. Lauderdale, FL – Furniture Dealer (totally had to look it up to even get that info!)

Reid – 30 – Philadelphia, PA – Realtor (again, had to look it up)

Mike – 28 – New York, NY – Baseball Camp Owner … this is the guy who tossed a ball at her and said “See, you are a good catch” … ha ha ha … eh.. humm…

Tanner P – 30 – Dallas, TX – Financial Analyst - this guy had a FOOT FETTISH and OMG she thought it was “cute” but she HAD NO IDEA … please excuse me while I go vomit….

So she had to dismiss 10 guys – bringing her boys down to a meager 20!

So her first choice, via the FIRST IMPRESSION ROSE was David… Congrats David!! Then in order, Jacob, Jesse, Wes, Mathue, Michael, Robert, Ed, Reid, Simon, Kiptyn, Mike, Brian (screams in horror), Sasha, Julien, Tanner P (vomits), Mark, Brad, Tanner F, Juan …

And that is the top 20!!

I have to say that I *love* Juan and I guess if I had to make a 2^nd pick right now it would be Kiptyn. I reserve the right to change my mind in the next episode before making my final pick on the final two. Last season I just wanted Jason to make it, and he was picked last all the time too, makes me sad that I usually pick the “runner up” … Sorry Juan!