To All the Daddy's in my Life.....

 I would have arguments with my mother...  "I'm ADOPTED!!" I had figured it all out....   See I remember looking through my baby book and seeing this baby with dark skin and dark hair and dark eyes.......

 I remember thinking...... that's not me.  My skin so so pale I would glow in some photos...

I went from having darkish hair to reddish to blonde ... then have slowly been getting dark again ...  and my eyes are very blue....   that's NOT ME...... so as any four year old would conclude, I WAS ADOPTED!

What 4 year old knows about adoption???   Unless they are or someone they know is.  I didn't.   Just saying....   Course, I could also write my name upside down and backwards so the person sitting across from me could read it.   Cuz I am smartz like that.

Anyway ......... my mom would tell me, no you aren't adopted ...... and I would call her a liar.  Cuz, I was that kind of kid.  I knew it all dammit - even at four.

So....  then I figure, if I don't get a Daddy outta this..... I at least want a baby brother or sister.  So little old me ... I start demanding it.  Cuz, I'm the Princess!!  Don't believe me, this is my Princess garb....

She of course told me it would never ever happen and to get over royal self.  (BTW - I really am related to royalty! JUST SAYIN!!) ...

I guess when I was born my mom looked at my Grandmother and told her if she wanted anymore Grandkids - to look at her seven sons for that.  (Yes, my mom was one of 8 children, she had 7 brothers)....   and you know she was totally thinking ... "She is perfect, why mess with perfection?" ...  no? 

 Anyway - this isn't about me.  This is about FATHER'S DAY!!... which in a way - makes it all about me.... ha ha ha ... okay, I'm kidding.

The first love of my life was my Grandfather.  He was my "Daddy" role model because mine couldn't be...  he was so kind and gentle, so loving and patient.

I remember him teasing my grandmother ... I even remember him teasing her to go do their taxes ... in the bedroom (wink wink) ...   and she'd tell him "No, Larry!" and make some comment on how that's only to have babies and she was well past done ...  or various other silliness. 

We had two special things we did.  He would take me to the library every week and we'd pick out books, and he'd read them to me - until I could read them myself.   And Sunday morning we would curl up in his green rocking chair that squeaked like the devil and we'd read the Sunday comics. 

I always wanted to marry him.  He was my everything as a little girl.  So when he died when I was 11, my heart was broken, and continues to be ...  I will always miss him.

I grew up without my Dad in my life everyday.  My mom raised me with the help of my Grandparents (her parents) ....   My Dad had been married, he had two daughters ...  for whatever reason they separated and got divorced... he had a relationship with my mom ... I happened....  but not before he joined the Navy.   He met someone while he was in the Navy, fell in love and married my Step-Mom just a few days before my first birthday.  So I always know how many years they've married. 

They ended up meeting him when I was five years old.   My mom was tired of the accusations of being adopted and demands of a sibling.  So she said "Fine, we'll meet your Dad, and guess what - you have a baby brother."   My "baby" brother was only two years younger then me... he was three, not exactly a baby - even if I still call Nathan and Kaedyn babies at 5 & 3....  it's funny, the age difference between my brother and I is pretty much the same between Nate & Kaed.... 

A few years later, my Step-Mom graced us with my baby sister too.   I remember her wiggling her butt to Luvs "Baby Pants" commercials ...

So....... let's pause here a moment.   I was my Mother's ONLY CHILD.  I was my Grandparent's YOUNGEST CHILD.  I was my Father's MIDDLE CHILD and I was the OLDEST CHILD of all my cousins I grew up with.  So.... when asked "What child are you, only, oldest, middle or youngest?"  I was always be royally confused...

Now back to our regularly scheduled program. 

I have a lot of memories with my Daddy .... even though we didn't live together he was very involved in my life, and always - just a phone call away.   When I did something bad, my mom would make me call him and tell him - and I never did that again.  He took me and my brother to hunt sharks teeth when I went to visit him in North Carolina.  I found a ton and learned everything I could about sharks (at the time) ... until my mom threw them all out.  I remember the first joke he taught me sitting at the dinner table in North Carolina....

Dad: "Knock knock"
Me: "Who's there?"
Dad: "Madam"
Me: "Madam who?"
Dad: "Madam shoe lace is stuck in the door"

All the while my Step-Mom was yelling at him "RAYMOND DON'T YOU DARE!!"  Apparently he didn't hear her...  lol... 

I remember him giving me one of the most cherished gifts of my childhood.  One Christmas all I wanted was a preemie blue eyed girl Cabbage Patch Kid that had a pacifier.   He managed to find me one, only - had brown eyes instead of blue - but I didn't care.  I still have this Cabbage Patch Kid and everything she came with.  I remember her original name was Eliza Jane and I changed it to Elizabeth because that's what I wanted my name to be..... Annissa, what kind of crazy name was Annissa.  No one can spell it, no one can pronounce it....  meh....  I wanted to be Elizabeth ... or Alison.   Now, I'm glad I have my name... but then, hated it.

Just going to add here..... who knew I would have two blue eyed paci sucking preemie BOYS later in my life...

Noah Alexander - 1lb 12.2oz at birth and 13 3/4 inches

Nathan Patrick - 3lbs 4oz at birth and 15 3/4 inches

My Dad is amazing.  I know he does his best.  I know he couldn't physically be there for me everyday but he was there spiritually and was always a phone call away.  We'd write letters, and that was always good fun.  Lost art of getting a letter in the mail.  He's write me while he was on duty off in where ever he was sent.  I remember the silly stories he would tell me of the time he got kicked out of Saudi Arabia...  He works hard, and always has.  He is a wood carver and a darn good one.  And the funny thing is...  nature won out over nurture in my case.  Even though there is a lot of my mom in me, I and my Father's child for sure.  We're both very gentle souls, I think we both like to avoid conflict...  and when someone takes me to the brink when I lose my cool- my Mom totally comes out of me and I can bitch slap you from ten feet away ...  My Dad, my Mom and I all have the same sense of humor.  We're all smart-asses to a flaw.   Very sarcastic humor.  My Dad is very easy-going and so am I.  When my husband met my Dad, when we went home, he told me.... "You are definitely his daughter" ...  yep, yep I am.

So ... Daddy.... even though you weren't always around, you are always in my heart as I am in yours.  It didn't matter if you were a million miles away, I knew you loved me, and still do.   I love you Daddy, HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!!!

What Makes a Dad

God took the strength of a mountain,
The majesty of a tree,
The warmth of a summer sun,
The calm of a quiet sea,
The generous soul of nature,
The comforting arm of night,
The wisdom of the ages,
The power of the eagle’s flight,
The joy of a morning in spring,
The faith of a mustard seed,
The patience of eternity,
The depth of a family need,
Then God combined these qualities,
When there was nothing more to add,
He knew His masterpiece was complete,
And so,
He called it … Dad

 [Author Unknown]

Then there is my Husband....  He is just like my Grandfather, and my Father.  A great combination of the two men who were my first true loves.  He's kind, gentle, has our twisted sense of humor.  He is a great father.  He took on my two kids from my first marriage without a second thought and even though one of them had a rare genetic disorder.  It's not easy taking on a "special needs kid" ...  especially when you don't have to.

Dennis became a Daddy in 2004 - before we met - when his baby girl was born.

He was a stay-at-home-Dad to the Princess for 18 months and his ex and him split.  She took their daughter half away across the country and they were doing web-cam chats and phone calls, and as soon as he met me and she realized it became serious..... that all stopped.  One day we hope to have enough money to fight this ...  but, right now - his daughter doesn't even know he exists.  His ex did everything she could to help their daughter forget him ...  and married another man that she herself has called "verbally abusive and controlling" and is allowing him to be the role model for this child.  Every time Dennis tries to call he is called s slue of curse words and hung up on.  Repeatedly.  To the point where he just couldn't do it anymore because of the effect it was having on his mental health.  I could vent for days on this but I won't.

Dennis loves his daughter and it breaks his heart that he's not part of her life, even though he wants to be... I wish circumstances were different right now...

So when he met me in 2006 - the loss was fresh - but it didn't scare him away from taking on a ready made family ...

2006, Dennis, Me, Cal and Noah

  He has always left it up to them what they want to call him "Dennis" ... "Dad" ... whatever.  He has always treated them how he would his own.  He is full time Dad to them.

Then we added to the family ..  on our wedding day I was 18 weeks pregnant...

A few short months later ...... Nathan Patrick joined our family ... and not only was he faced with being a step-dad to a child with medical issues, but also the biological father to one....

Then when Nathan was a few months old - we found out we were adding another addition to our family and along came Kaedyn.   The babies are 16 months apart.  Nathan was 0-3 month size in clothes when Kaedyn was born....  it wouldn't take long at all for them to be in the same size ... until about the time Nathan turned 4, then we had to start separating clothes because Kaedyn was so much bigger and Nathan needed a smaller waist band....

I know he loves his kid - all five of them.  He does his best, even though he feels as if his best isn't good enough.   He is an amazing, loving, caring father who longs to teach his kids how to be a gentleman, a good man, and a good husband and father for the future.  My boys are lucky because they get him as their Daddy - everyday ....   The Princess is lucky because we love her always - she is always a part of our family even though she's not here.  When she is - she will have a lovely scrapbook and lots of gifts to open from over the years.....  because she's never forgotten - not for a moment. 

Happy Father’s Day!

A Dad is a person
who is loving and kind,
And often he knows
what you have on your mind.

He’s someone who listens,
suggests, and defends.
A dad can be one
of your very best friends!

He’s proud of your triumphs,
but when things go wrong,
A dad can be patient
and helpful and strong

In all that you do,
a dad’s love plays a part.
There’s always a place for him
deep in your heart.

And each year that passes,
you’re even more glad,
More grateful and proud
just to call him your dad!

Thank you, Dad…
for listening and caring,
for giving and sharing,
but, especially, for just being you!
Happy Father’s Day!

[Author Unknown]

And a special HAPPY FATHER'S DAY to my Step-Dad who deserves a huge salute in all he's done too.  He loves my kids a lot - even so far as being Robin to Noah's Batman!  No one really wants to be a sidekick, but he will - for them.   We love you Papa ....  I hope you are having a fantastic Father's Day with your family.

Happy Father's Day to all the Daddy's in YOUR life!! 

To you if you are one, to you if you are a Mom playing both roles too.....