My Head is a Lonely Place.... (School Shootings)

I know I know....  2 entries in 2 days?  WOW ...  she's on a roll!!

Tonight I find myself feeling really alone. My husband is home, three out of four kids are home ...   (Cal and Shila are out at her Grandpa's cleaning out her (their) trailer) ... but I just feel alone.  Like I'm on my own little island - screaming out - and no one reacts.  Like I'm in a box of glass, life going on around me, but no one pays any attention to  me or realizes that I'm stuck in this box of glass.  I'm there, but no one can hear my screams.......

The weird thing about this is that I feel stupid for even feeling this way.

"Okay," you say? "So why do you feel this way?"

Well ...  let's talk about school shootings for a minute.

On February 22, 2012... yesterday was the anniversary  .... 6 years ago yesterday...  a young 9-year-old boy took a gun to school.  He had gotten the gun from his Mom's dresser when he was visiting her the weekend before the shooting.  He had that gun in his possession for several days (the shooting happened on a Wednesday.)  His mom did not have custody of him.  He lived with his uncle who had custody of him.  He took that gun and decided to take the gun to school because he felt kids were being mean to him.  <--- bullying is a REAL issue also

6 years ago yesterday... I had a hoooooooooorible migraine.  Because of that migraine, I couldn't get Noah up and ready for school and to catch the bus.  So he stayed home.  I managed to get the migraine to subside to tolerable levels.  So Noah was home....

The gun was in this little boy's backpack.  No one really knows what happened next, but somehow the gun went off from inside his backpack and hit the little 8 year old 3rd grade girl who sat next to him.

The first thing that alerted me that something was wrong was that I kept hearing helicopters.  Here are two pictures I took that day ...

I kept saying "What the hell is going on" ...  I hadn't had the TV on or any of that, so I turned it on and holy shit.....  my world was rocked. 

I see that my son's school is on the TV.  Things that I recognize and see every school day.  Noah was in 4th grade at the time.  The people on TV start talking about how there was a school shooting and not a lot was truly known.  I was shocked, floored, you name it ...

Then there is reports that a 3rd grade student pulled out a gun and shot another 3rd grade student in the stomach.  Put the gun right up to her and shot her.

That wasn't the truth of what happened, but that's what was originally reported.   There were panicked parents, and there were panicked kids, the kids weren't being released to the parents... and it was horrifying.

My child was home, with me, because I couldn't function that morning and get him on the bus because of my migraine.

I had never been thankful for a migraine before, but holy crap - I was thankful that day.

I was watching, holding and hugging my Noah,

There were news choppers ... and the little girl who had been shot was life-flighted to Seattle ...

Hours later the kids were finally reunited with their parents.  I didn't have to go through that panic, or the tears of not knowing if my kid was okay, I didn't have to wait in the mob of parents wanting to just be reunited with my child.... that day I didn't have to go through that....

....  but I was still majorly effected.  This is one of my worst fears.  This is one of the worst fears for any parent.

I had ended up pulling Noah out of public school at the end of that year.  I had a very very very hard time even sending him back to that school for the rest of the school year.  There were other reasons I pulled him out of school and started to homeschool him, but this was definitely a major factor.

And it since then, I have left it up to Noah.  Noah asked to TRY to go back to school this past October.  His first day was Halloween (after a month of getting things set up) ...

So this morning, there was a phone call to all the High School parents saying school at BHS (abbreviation for the high school) was closed for the day.

Yesterday was a snow day, and we thought today might be one from the black ice all over.  We live in the middle of a really steep hill up and down... right in the middle.  So the plan was to call the kids in - ANYWAY - due to not trusting the driveways either way to get in or out of our complex.  DB drives the kids in, so we didn't feel it was 100% safe to get them in.

But the High School called and said BHS was closed regardless.  Why you might ask?  ....

On social media there was a post found threatening to go in and shoot up BHS.  (No school fully named, just BHS.)   So I guess all schools abbreviated to "BHS" around the nation closed up to be on the safe side.  WHICH is exactly what I would hope they would do.  I want my child safe.  I would much rather the school be closed for no reason, instead of taking the chance with my child's life.

I fought too hard to not only get this kid born safe and alive, but to keep him alive when a bunch of doctors said he wouldn't live.

But the event, even though it turned out to be directed at a school in New Mexico, brought up all those fears from that day, seeing my son's school on the news, knowing what all those parents and students must be going through. I just couldn't....

I was a blubbering mess and my kid was safe the whole time....

And this is the second time that my life was being DIRECTLY EFFECTED by anything having to do with school shootings.  And with the same kid, no less.

And I'm sitting here - silently in the middle of an anxiety induced freak out and no one to really talk to...  Sure my husband gets it but ...  certainly I can talk to some of my friends about it ...  but I also know that no matter the amount of talking, the amount of "it's okay" or "it'll all be fine" ...  or whatever encouraging words that might be handed my way will make this feeling in my brain and in my heart and that I'm fighting with my own anxiety not to have - none of it will actually make it go way.  I'll have this horrible feeling of dread and fear follow me for the next little while no matter how unrealistic it might be.

::: sigh :::

In this day and age that this is a real threat ... it's no longer a "it won't happen to us" because I think that no matter who or where ... everyone realizes that this could happen to them ... to their kids...  at their school ... to someone they may know.

IT CAN HAPPEN to any of us.

WHY has there been no real steps?  WHY has nothing really been done?   There needs to be better laws on guns, more control on gun.  People are all "it's not the guns fault" and "guns don't kill people..."  ...  No, they don't.  But stricter laws on guns, not having them so readily available, something needs to be done.  No one thinks the gun wakes up in the morning and goes, "oh hey, lets go kill people today!" ...  but the people who have access to guns do....

This actually shouldn't be "School Shootings" ...  this should be "SHOOTINGS AT SCHOOLS"

HERE IS THE RUN DOWN VIA SNOPES:

Breaking Out the Numbers

As of Everytown’s 15 February update, the total number of school gunfire incidents in 2018 stood at 17. Using their numbers as a starting point, we’ve broken out all the known incidents between 1 January and 14 February 2018 into more detailed categories. 

Firearm attacks during school hours: 7 (incidents resulting in injuries or deaths: 5) 

22 January: Italy High School, Italy, Texas – A 16-year-old student opened fire with a semi-automatic handgun in the school cafeteria, wounding another student.

22 January: NET Charter High School, Gentilly, Louisiana – An unknown person fired shots at students from a vehicle in the school parking lot. One person was injured (though not by gunfire).

23 January: Marshall County High School, Benton, Kentucky – A 15-year-old student opened fire with a handgun on school grounds, killing two and injuring 18.

25 January: Murphy High School, Mobile, Alabama – A student fired a handgun into the air during a fight with another student. No injuries were reported.

26 January: Dearborn High School, Dearborn, Michigan – Shots were fired during a fight in the school parking lot. No injuries were reported.

31 January: Lincoln High School, Philadelphia – A fight during a basketball game resulted in the shooting death of a 32-year-old man outside the school.

14 February: Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School, Parkland, Florida – A 19-year-old former student opened fire with a semi-automatic rifle, killing 17 and injuring 14.

Firearm attacks NOT occurring during school hours: 2 (incidents resulting in injuries or deaths: 2) 

20 January: Wake Forest University, Winston-Salem, North Carolina – A 21-year-old was shot and killed during a fight at a party on school grounds.

5 February: – Oxon Hill High School, Oxon Hill, Maryland – A student was shot and injured in the school parking lot during an attempted robbery.

Shots fired during school hours, unknown reason: 2 (no injuries) 

10 January: California State University, San Bernardino, California – Bullets were fired through a window, with no suspects or motive identified.

8 February: Metropolitan High School, New York, NY – A student fired a gun into the floor of a classroom.

Unintentional gunfire during school hours: 3 (incidents resulting in injuries or deaths: 1) 

10 January: Grayson College, Denison, Texas – A student fired a weapon belonging to an adviser, believing it wasn’t loaded. No injuries were reported.

1 February: Salvador B. Castro Middle School, Los Angeles – A semi-automatic handgun brought to school by a 12-year-old student accidentally went off. Four students were injured.

5 February: Harmony Learning Center, Maplewood, Minnesota – A third-grader pressed the trigger of a law enforcement officer’s handgun. The weapon went off but no one was injured.

Suicide attempts during school hours: 1 (resulting in death) 

10 January: Coronado Elementary School, Sierra Vista, Arizona – A middle school student shot himself in the bathroom of the school and was pronounced dead at the scene.

Stray bullets hitting school buildings during school hours: 1 (no injuries) 

4 January: New Start High School, near Seattle – Bullets fired by an unidentified shooter entered an administrative office. No injuries were reported.

Stray bullets hitting school buildings NOT occurring during school hours: 1 (no injuries) 

15 January: Wiley College, Marshall, Texas – Gunshots fired from a vehicle in the parking lot of a college dorm entered through a window, but did not injure residents.

Frankly ....  this is ridicules ... one is too many.  Just ONE ... is too many.

That's what I have to say ....  about it anyway ...  but here are a few kind words for other people that I appreciate.

MARCH FOR OUR LIVES 2018

Although approached with some "funny" ...  the message here - too ......



The one time I attended a "sit in" at my high school was a Prom Queen voting scandal ....

There was drinking, drugs, and other stuff going on in my high school but ... .I wasn't effected by ANY of that stuff...  none of it.  Of course I got sick at 15 and only usually attended the first half of my day ... went home after lunch .... but that was my worry during high school...

The things that have changed in the last 20 years that I haven't been a teenager ...  it's amazing...

Slow Day = Movie Day!

So the other day I had gone through the movies on the Hallmark Channel and set a bunch up to record.  I love Hallmark Channel movies.  They are uplifting and good ...  Lifetime Movies, well, they are man hating most of the time.  Not always do you want man hating.  

So I set up a bunch that sounded/looked interesting.  

So I had a bit of a movie-marathon going on early this morning ...  since I couldn't sleep.  

I started out with The Last Cowboy....  which, I love Jennie Garth.. always been a fan since the 90210 days.  

This movie was good, I thought I had seen it already - but after getting past a little bit - I realized I hadn't.  I had, however, seen SOMETHING like it.   Anyway - Jennie's character left home long ago after her Momma died.  Her and her Daddy butt heads.  Her uncle and grandpa - though - were really important to her - but she had to leave and spread her wings.  Her grandpa dies and she comes home the day he's buried.  Both Jennie's character and her Daddy are holding their grudges high and strong.  Fast forward a bit and she moves back home to be there to help run the family ranch, and surprise, she has a little boy - and her Daddy instantly falls in love with that little boy.  

ALSO Jennie's character brings back a Bradley Cooper - woohooo.... who can hate that?

Anyway - it's about Jake (Jennie's character) helping her family save their ranch and her finding her way back home.  It's good.  

I then switched it up to another Jennie Garth movie.  Karen Kingsbury's A Time To Dance....

Now - this one was really good.  It was about couple, Abby & John, who were highschool sweethearts.  Now, twenty years (ish) into the marriage they are having trouble connecting as romantic partners.  She feels he's got one foot out the door ...  At some point, it is pretty clear, they just stopped communicating.  It came down to it, it was a sweet movie.  

Also by the same author was THE BRIDGE parts 1 and 2.  

Immediately - the girl who played Molly I knew from another show/movie.  It was bugging me horribly.  And then........ I realized that she was Rebecca Sutter on How To Get Away With Murder.  It was like BAM!!!  r

Anyway - Molly is a girl who's trying to get away from "home" where her over protective Dad has her whole life planned out from running their million dollar company to who she is going to marry.  She's more than willing to go along with the "plan" but when she leaves to go to college, she realizes that it's REALLY not what she wants.  Not at all.

She also manages to fall in love.... the boy, Ryan, shows her this amazing bookstore called "The Bridge" where it's not just about books, it's about the people and making connections and community. It's the type of place I would want to live in.  LOL ...

Though things are complicated.  And that's why there is a part two.  In part two, The Bridge has fallen on hard times.  A threatened death (he didn't die) brings people back and reconnects, and allows them to express and share how important The Bridge is, and all the people, especially Charlie and Donna who opened the book store after they lost their baby girl right before she was supposed to be born (much like my best friend losing our little Jackson.) ...  so that part of the story line was like a knife in the heart and only the first few minutes of the first part of the movie.

All good ....  they were all good.

I'm so tired right now.  As I am writing this part, it's about mid afternoon (2:30pm).  I have a really big headache, huge headache.  Migraine - because it's wrapping around my head.  It's in the front, back, sides...  just hurts.  I am so tired.  I couldn't sleep last night, at all.  I remember thinking at 5am that I would just stay up until tonight and *hopefully* sleep tonight.

That didn't happen.  Around 6am I started getting really tired, to the point where I put my laptop down and curled up.  I still didn't think I was going to go to sleep, but knowing my body - it was my usual pattern.  So I curl up and sure enough I start getting heavy eyes.  Pretty soon I'm sleeping.  Nathan wakes me up whispering stuff in my ear.  I can't understand him.  About five or six times later, I finally figured it out - he wants a jolly rancher.  So I grab one, and while I was trying to open it, I kept falling asleep.  "Mom" and I'd wake up, try to open it again, drift off.  "Mom" wake u, try to open it, drift off.  Over and over that went on until I finally managed to open it.   I guess when Kaedyn woke up he asked for French Toast, so around 10:30 this morning DB woke me up with some.  I ate and ended up falling back to sleep.

Well, I guess I ended up losing my fight with sleep again....  It's about 4:20 now.  I've been up for about an hour again ... so odds are, I'll be awake for awhile (yay!) ...

DB just told me we can get Marshmellow fixed on Tuesday.  Livvy we're going to wait.  She's a bit more expensive and if we get him fixed before her, she's not going to get pregnant because she doesn't get outside and he's the only male cat in the house (now).  We don't want kitties.  We love kitties but we don't want anymore. We know she'll be hitting her first "heat" soon and we just hope to avoid that.  She is at least 7 months old, so we know if it hasn't happened yet - it will happen soon.  So we're going to get him fixed, vaccinated, chipped and wait to make sure she's not knockered up before getting her fixed next month.

I shared with my best friend something I wrote in my blog (which was on an entry a few days ago) and I wanted to make sure she read it.  It was about her and my sister Heather and their grief right now, being lucky enough to be their rock at the moment.  She wrote this back to me.  I didn't ask her if I could share it, but I need to share this.  I need to be able to go back and read this when I'm having low moments, and I do have them.... more than I share.   But this year it's about being real...  and I'm being real here. So this is someplace I want to keep this.  It means so much to me - SO MUCH to me - that she wrote all this up for me.  I cried when I read it.  REALLY cried.  I just love her so much.

I am so grateful to have you as my best friend, my rock, my person. I truly am and I don't know how I would have survived all the shit I've been through without you. Honest to God. I've told you things that no one else knows and I feel like you know me better than anyone on earth. I trust you wholeheartedly. When you talked about how much compassion you feel and how when we hurt, you hurt, I feel the same way. It's a terrible feeling when someone you love is going thorough hell. And you have not only me going through hell, but Heather too. And I know it's taking a toll on you but you're strong as hell and you take on that burden when you don't have to. You have helped me more than words can say. You listen to me go on and on about my grief. You are grieving too and I know that. I know how excited you were about Jackson too and you made me feel very special during my pregnancy. You listened to all my fears and you calmed them when you could. You set me straight when I start to lose my grip, and you've always done that. It's scary to put so much of yourself into someone else's hands - but there is only one person who I trust that much, with every single thing about myself and that person is you. As much as I love my husband - my soulmate - I have still after 10 years not fully opened up to him. Partly because I'm afraid if he knew everything about me that he would look at me differently. I never have that question when it comes to you. I know you would never judge me or think badly of me. You accept me for who I am, flaws and all. And I accept you for who you are as well, flaws and all lol. I know in past situations I've been kinda judgy and haven't always been there for you the way I should have been. I feel like those times have been very few but I still regret them because I wasn't being the same kind of friend to you that you were to me. But I can't change the past. I can just make sure I do better in the future as I grow and change and believe me - what I'm going through right now is changing me in so many ways and really opening my eyes to who and what are important in my life. Who truly cares about me and puts them self into an awkward and painful situation in order to be supportive of me. 

I consider you to be my family too. You and I share a deep bond that goes way beyond friendship. It started the moment we really 'met' on AOL lol. We bonded over our preemies and we were the only people who truly understood each other's pain and also joy in the little things we witnessed along the way. You opened yourself up to me and I remember us chatting for hours and telling each other our life stories lol. When you went through the whole thing with Keith, I know I was one of the few friends who stood by you. I know you lost a lot of people or were afraid to tell them about the situation for fear that they would judge you for what HE did, which I knew was not fair or right to do. Even though I was young and still pretty inexperienced with life, I felt that bond with you instantly and I felt very protective over you. I still feel that way and even though I tend to show that with an angry side to me (like when Dennis has done stupid shit in the past), I know that you know that it's coming from a place of love. 

Anyway I just wanted you to know how much I love you and how much I appreciate you always being there for me, sharing my joys and also my sadness and never waivering in that. Thinking back to when we first met, my God how our lives have changed since then. In good ways and bad. And looking into the next 15 years I'm sure there will be more joy and more sadness for us both but I know you will walk through it with me and I will do the same with you. I love you to the moon and back!

This...... ^^^^^  made me laugh so much it's ridicules.

I saw this floating around FB today and - I had to repost it.  DB goes on and on, getting on Cal's case about swearing.  He says "It makes you sound uneducated when you swear so much."  And he's absolutely right.  One hundred percent..... CORRECT.  (Trust me that's a big deal, he's not right often.  so when he is... he likes it in big letters! LOL...) ...

So I saw this ..... and I had to post it, tag him and Cal in it and say "Sorry DB, your argument is invalid" and I laughed and laughed......

A lot of today was spent with me editing his paper for him.... and re-editing and re-RE-editing .... and ... by the time we got to number four with the edit, I just got pissed at him.  I was like ....

"WHY DO YOU ASK FOR MY HELP WHEN YOU DON'T EVEN USE IT?"

Which was met with the blank blinking "What?" stare that husbands get when they know they are in trouble but they just can't figure out why ......

So .... over and over I made the SAME corrections.  He had only brought up the last page the last couple times, and I was like I know I made this correction on the last THREE papers!  So I called him out on it, and he stumbled with excuses "Oh I didn't see it" ...  and then I asked him if he made the other changes?  He told me he did, I told him I bet he did NOT make them.  Told him to bring me up the first draft I marked up, and I grabbed my pink pen and I remarked them all to be sure he could SEE them.  I don't care if the changes - like wording or what not - was made.  Those are just matter of opinion and depends on the writer's writing style.  Most of them, though, were structural and grammar corrections.

And it was really pissing me off.... LOLOL....

Fast foward and there were a few changes that I thought needed to be changed back from what he had them as, changed them, and yeah.  Eventually - I think he landed on something we were both happy with.  And I get SO OFFENDED if he gets anything less than an A on his papers I help him with.  Seriously ... LOL... it's horrible.

I need to go back to school.

Kaedyn was not a happy kiddo today.  He's really lonely today and really wants to play Pokemon Monopoly which neither DB or I have the energy to play right now, and of course the bros all have better things to do.  So there were a lot of tears too :( ...   (sigh)

Watched a bunch of our typical TV that we enjoy.

TO TELL THE TRUTH ....  show I used to LOVE watching as a kid.  LOVED it.  So tonight it's on (double episode) and on the first one was 3 sets of twins.  Well the premise of it was the celebrities were supposed to guess which one of the sets of twins owned a restaurant named TWINS that staffed only identical twins...  LOL.... Well I knew right away who those were (I saw them on a twins documentary) ...

So there is something they do in every show, and that's a game called "Before You Go" ...  where the remaining two people (or in this case, two sets of twins) where there is a truth told about one of the remaining two and the celebrities have a 50/50 chance to get it right.

So the second truth was, the two sets of twins then paired off (one man, one woman) ... because the two sets of identical twins had married identical twins.  Well one of these married sets of identical twins had HAD identical twins (which I guess is a chance of 1 in just less of one million.)

So the celebrities take turns asking funny, pointed, and trying to screw them up - questions - towards the one truth teller and the two (or one as the case may be) liars.

celebrity Rachel asked "Couple #1: Do you feel left out because you do not have twins"

Couple #1 answered Mom: "No, not really" (which everyone took as her slipping up and saying she doesn't have twins.)  Dad: "Well, because we do have twins"

I was like HOLY SHIT SHE SCREWED UP and so were the celebrities ... LOL...

The truth tellers (everyone guessed couple #2) ... it was couple #1...  ROFLMBO ... the thing that kills me the most was DB  guessed #1 at the beginning ....  UGH!  Dammit.

Lots of laughs ensue during this show....

I have nailed the rest of them though!  LOL....  these twins were tricky!!!

Oh - BTW - there is a rule on the show that the "truth tellers" have to tell the truth, and the others can lie lie lie....  so ...  when Anthony pointed that out and said "This is the rule. Why did you say?"  The Mom said this.  "Rachel asked "Do you feel left out because you do not have twins" and I said "No, not really" because I don't, since I have twins!"

I can honestly say - I didn't say a damn word on Facebook all day today.  FB Messenger is a different story, but I didn't post anything on FB at all ...  Just had to put that out in the universe that I didn't make a peep today.  I did on Twitter though ...

The top two tweets are from my catching up on The Bachelor ... which - BTW - I flucked up.  Not the tweets, but watching the show.....  

I have to say, I cannot STAND Corinne... but boy o' boy - everyone it talking about the twit.

But this is what is going on .....  I watch The Bachelor ON DEMAND because I don't record it.  So I went to watch it - and they have been airing 2 hours worth ... and so they split it up into "Part 1" and "Part 2" ...

So sometimes Part 2 is listed before Part 1 of that episode ...  so I got mixed up.  Episode 4's "Part 2" was completely missing.  So I ended up watching part 2 to episode 5 and ... once I figured this out, it made a lot more sense how the people from the group date from the first part of the episode, were on a group date again during the part two! LOL...  ooops....

Back to School Day

Today .... thank the LORD ....... is back to school day.

I love my kids.  I do.  I love them, I would take a bullet for them, I would step in front of a train for them ... if needed.  But today I could have kissed every single school personnel there was.  That would have been awkward and like Kaedyn told me after school today, "Kissing is not allowed in school" ....

.... got it kiddo.  Got it.

I'll be sure to smack big all kisses all over him on Thursday when I drop him off at school.  Ha!

Today, I said goodbye and kicked them out the door, into the van, dropped the big boys off at school (DB & Cal) and took the little ones to school with only seconds to spare.

I asked to get a school pass so I could go talk to Nathan's Inclusion Room Teacher, because Nathan came to school with his much missed alternative communication device. I wanted to show her he had it, and give her a mini crash course on how to use it.

However, at the front desk, I got a little bit of an attitude.  "Is she expecting you?"  I look up, it's not one of the normal ladies, I suspect it is the new Principal.... (yep it is) ... she's telling me "next time come early to talk to her."  I am so sorry I had to get everyone out the door, drop people off and then rush here and my morning wasn't wrapped up in a bow neat and tidy.  ::: sigh :::

So she handed me the "hallpass" and I walked Nathan there, Kaedyn is having a hard time with separation, kept hugging me and wanting kisses (but they are inappropriate!) and more hugs... yeah.  Finally got him to go to class.  Took Nathan into his Inclusion Room and started talking to his teacher.  Told her about his Talker (Alternative Communication Device) and gave her the crash course.  Then I left.

I went and sat at the college, waiting until Cal and DB were done, read my book.  Cal came and sat with me after his 1st class, his 2nd class was canceled for the day.

And like any normal mom on the first day back from an extra long Christmas vacation... I went home and I had a nice... long ... nap, until the kids got home from school.

Don't judge me.  LOL.  I've been sick, ended up in the ER twice just before New Years, once for a cyst and Pancreatitis.  The next night I fell down the stairs and hurt my foot pretty bad.  It *feels* like I broke my big toe, at the very least I have tore tendons & ligaments.  Been dealing with a lot of pain ... have to ice my foot almost all day (it feels like).  Plus the Pancreatitis isn't fun.  Luckily it's been caught relatively early.

It's not easy avoiding your big toe when you walk!   Oh and they gave me a "boot" to wear when I'm out and about.  I can't... the strap hits my toe in the spot it feels like it's broken ... and every step I take, I want to scream.

So I took the time to rest.  Between all the new pain, and my general normal pain from dealing with the Fibro/CFS everyday, I just am so worn out.

The boys got home and I was *hoping* that they would be tired and rather still little beasts, but no.... ooooooooh no no no ....  no, they are wild with energy and I am very much NOT.

It was a long day.

Braces and Test Results ...

This morning....  the following happened ....

This morning: Nathan - "I want ow up" Dennis and I are perplexed. We thought he was saying "throw up" ... Kaedyn was thinking he wanted to drink "7-up" ... we asked him to show us, he couldn't ... so we asked him to spell it out .. he tried, we asked him to write it down.... he tries, it's ... jibberish - so asked him again - this time Dad got it.... "DAY OFF" ... Nathan wanted a DAY OFF from school. We cheered and applauded and then got to tell him no, he had to go to school. Oooooooh to crush a young boy's hopes and dreams.  My day is complete! 

Little Miss is all about her feet right now!

Noah got new bands on today, he got some other stuff done too - I guess his teeth that were growing sideways they finally managed to coax out and so they had to do extra work to bring them down properly ...  poor kid was super sore.  Also .... he is officially two years into this process.  His brace-iversary is tomorrow.  It's been two years since he got his braces.  It's been a long time.  I know he hates every second of it, but he really needed it or he'd have had bigger issues later.... :(   So I hate causing my kids pain, but I know it was needed.

It's needed for Nathan too and that makes me sad because he's still so little and with him it's really going to be a balance of - will getting braces cause more harm?  It's already hard to get him to eat, and if we get him braces .... he's going to be less likely to eat.  Sure he has a feeding tube but we want to encourage him to eat.  So ... yeah...

Anyway, DB and I had a meeting at Nathan's school today.  It went well - nothing overly surprising.

These two signs were by the front desk....  I had to take pictures of them....

Facebook Update:
We had a meeting at Nathan's school today - for the results of the testing they did at school. GREAT news - he improved a lot in some areas, like social and various other areas. He's doing REALLY good not being physical when his emotions are out of control (i.e. not pushing or hitting other kids if they upset him) at this point we (DB and I) cracked up laughing a little bit, because he just (two days ago) kicked Cal between the legs because of something Cal did... clearly he's not implementing this at home. So... he still qualifies heavily in a lot of areas, and one area they don't even do because Nathan is classified as Autistic. However, everyone agrees about how smart this little guys is. And we all know how he sits there and when he doesn't understand something or something seems too hard, he's just like "nope" not doing it. LOL. But he is crazy smart, his biggest issue is not being able to talk (well). We noticed walking out that Nathan has a bathroom card with his name on it. DB says "Nathan has his own bathroom pass?" LOL... well turns out that Nathan apparently doesn't seem to think that he needs to tell anyone when he goes to the bathroom - he just leaves the classroom. Well one day he disappeared and his inclusion room teacher says "where's Nate?" and no one knows? She found him washing his hands in the bathroom. HA HA HA. So she had a sit down talk with Nathan about how it's a safety issue, and how if he has to go potty, he just hands the card to an adult. So that's why he has his own bathroom pass. The other thing is, they agree that the other school did NOT handle him properly. They feel that it was probably a case of the other kids were too much to handle and pushed Nathan into the regular gen ed room. But they said based on his test scores, he'll get there to that point - but right now - he is absolutely not ready for that. So yeah - it's good to know my Mommy instinct was right on the money with that. Sucks that the other school dropped the ball so badly for our son though, and every time we brought up our concerns, because of the severe severe anxiety he was having, they just brushed it off. Kinda pisses me off actually - but it's neither here nor there anymore. He's in a great spot now.

This is Gallifrey .... he's trying to hide.   He's doing a good job.

So I have to share something.  I'm a little amused.  So Kaedyn is my little genius.  Now, I say that because he is extremely extremely intelligent.  The other kids are so smart in their own ways, in their own areas.  Nathan is really smart too, but he has such a hard time communicating.  And - I mean - lets admit it - that boy gets away with murder.  HA HA HA ...   he's like... nope, not gonna do it.  Anyway ... Noah is really smart when it comes to certain things - like subjects he's interested in, but he has a really really hard time learning.  He has a lot of learning disabilities to overcome and medical issues too.  Cal on the other hand, he doesn't know how to apply himself, but he has a good brain.

Anyway - with all that said... Kaedyn who can use To, Too, and Two properly....   I was all ...  THAT'S MY BOY ....

DB was like that during the ultrasound when you could see his boy bits ... he's all THAT'S MY BOY!!  *snort*

Figures that it's Mom who's proud of his grammar skills, and Dad who's proud of his..... well... plumbing.  LOL...

So this surprised me a little bit.

"Thay should always measure starting at the edge"  - he spelled THEY wrong but - I'll give him a pass, he's 7 ....

And then he couldn't spell triangle, square, and diamond.  There is suspicion that the teacher wrote the first part on the board or something.  Also, he has better handwriting than three of his brothers....  and probably his Dad.. (LOL sorry DB ...  meh, sorry not sorry) ....

Even my own kids........

New Schools & November....

So I have NOT been able to keep up on NoBloPoMo at ALL.  Made it 1 day.  ONE.  Fail. Epic fail. Beyond Epic Fail.

Also couldn't keep up on my 365 blogging project, clearly.  Although I did make it a lot longer than I ever have before AND I have posted the MOST entries this year than I ever have since I started this blog!  YAY for that!!

I have SO MANY blogs started and just ... not .... finished........ oye.

Seriously - the word draft is pretty popular right now.

Anyway ......  with the move - Kaedyn ended up switching schools.  So we went to his new school to check it out - meet his new teacher and all that.

I loooove this display in the library!

We had Parent Teacher Conferences at Kaedyn's "old" school ...   I have to show off how freaking SMART this kid is.  So the only one that he didn't test above on was the nonsense words -blue circle- (which she said she doesn't expect the kids to even do) ... everything else he EXCELLED at ...  He is doing ABOVE (pink) what is expected.

These are the pictures from the picture day (old school) that I didn't end up getting - didn't know it was picture day or he would have had on a different shirt.  The ones I ordered, well he picked out the shirt that day - not much better, but at least it was what he wanted to wear for his pictures.

First day at the NEW SCHOOL!!!   Nathan we were taking to enroll - and he ended up starting that day too.  Which I totally wasn't prepared for, and I ended up crying on the way home.  Just wasn't prepared.  But we let it all be up to him. It's really important that Nathan is 100% comfortable and on board with all of it.

They go to two different schools.  There was no room at the neighborhood school in the 1st Grade class and there was no room in the 3rd Grade at Kaedyn's school.

 Ready for 2nd Day at School (minus coats and shoes!)

 3rd Day of school, new backpack for Nathan and new shoes for both of them :)

Kaedyn took these selfies of him and Elly - Elly and Kaedyn have a very special relationship ...

My five boys!

We did a weight on all three of the younger boys ...  I didn't believe that Noah was over 100 lbs!  He came back from his physical and I was shocked... so I made him get on the scale at home, and it was the same as it was at the doctors!

Nathan's weight hasn't changed since May really ....

Kaedyn isn't much more than Nathan, but he's been growing in height and not so much in weight.

This was a pretty good book - one of the starter longer books and he read it all by himself :)

Poppy and Elly having some quality time.  Elly loves this show on Baby First called Rainbow Horse and so Poppy had it on one screen and was doing homework on the other.

She is such a highlight in my life, I'm so thankful I get to spend so much time with her :)  And help raise her :)

Calahan and Alana...  kids had DR appt and Alana volunteered to watch Elly while we went to the appointment.   So here is Calahan & Alana with Elly :)   Auntie & Uncle :)

Here are some bonus 3 month old pictures of Elly ....  she has my heart for sure!