Today was a good day....

I am two weeks post toe amputation ....  I'm trying to catch up on the whole "Black Toe Saga  - Life and Death of Judith" .... Judith is my toe in case you didn't know.... the one that got amputated.  All those blogs will be back dated ....

Judith is gone. Now my fourth toe is in danger. Fourth toe is named Ruby.  My friend named my toe Judith and DB named Ruby .... but it fits because she's pretty red... long live Ruby .... And with Ruby in danger, my pinkie toe would be in danger too.  Doc G sewed Ruby and my pinkie toe (aka Lilith) together to create a better blood supply for the two toes as a whole... in hopes to give them a better chance to be saved....  So I'm naming the pinkie toe.... Lilith and at this point might as well name the rest, so how about Cecily and Eunis?

So this is how it goes....

1st Toe (big toe): Eunis
2nd Toe: Cecily
3rd Toe (middle toe): Judith
4th Toe: Ruby
5th Toe (pinkie toe) Lilith

So Judith succumbed to her infection and she was put to rest on  September 21st 2019.  She was cremated with the other hospital waste ... but at least she went out with some polish on her!

So Eunis has a cut at the base of the toe, on the bottom of the foot.  Cecily is just standing tall and strong.  Ruby - you can see is darkened a bit but it's not gangrene ... not sure what is going on totally but it likes to bleed when I clean it which Doc S says is a good sign...  but after taking Judith, Ruby and Lilith are sewn together ...

I feel like this is going to be a never ending story ... I'm pretty scared I am going to lose my foot in the long run but ..... ::: deep breath::: I am trying not to think about that ...

I currently have a big hole on the top of my foot where those stitches are... that's where the big pocket of infection was that squirted out like a freaking volcano and hurt like a .... mo'fo....

Today my foot hurts a bit .... pressure on Lilith and Ruby is really uncomfortable but it's especially uncomfortable and painful when there is pressure on Lilith....

Today I actually got chatty on Twitter ....

It was a pretty good day overall :D

I did watch Finn Road and IMO I think it was the best one out of the whole collection.  I was having palpitations because the evil was practically palpable ..... and I am usually working/doing something on my laptop and not ALWAYS paying complete attention to the TV and I didn't realize that someone else from Ghost Hunters (OG) would be called upon ....  and at one point Steve (Prozak)

(Of course I recognized him right here just by his profile....  I was like ...  is that STEVE?  That's STEVE!)

With that....... Goodnight....

Fri-Nally!

So I got up this morning and took a shower ... I hate how over the last couple years my natural curls in my hair have literally disappeared...  grrrrr I miss my curls!

Today I just wanted to take it easy and try to relax and re-coup from the last could of days.   So Snapchat... lol... 

The pink hair below, is actually kinda cool ... my husband says no nose ring though ...  bahahahahahha

The best part of my day (<--- that's sarcasm) ... is when we got a call saying Nathan's surgery for Monday is canceled because Dr. C doesn't like that he's gained so little weight but ... ya....  besides the first year after the G-Tube - he didn't really GAIN weight - he goes up and down and up and down and since the G-Tube fell out, he's not been throwing up a lot, he has been eating more, he's always been more active ...  he's been HAPPIER .... 

And it just makes me a little mad that this surgery got canceled when his weight gain has been very little for the last couple years!  He's been dancing around the 45lb to 50lb range since April 2015 to this past fall - then when his tube falls out he finally seems to hit and surpass that 50lbs mark... 

.................. sooooooooo .......... yeah.   But whatever.  We didn't get the call until 5:30pm and we couldn't call the Dr to argue with him.  So yes, it would be much worse for Nathan to get the G-Tube stoma to get closed finally, after 6 months of it just being open with gauze over it, leaking...  much worse...   so let's leaving it open and leaking ... it's all good. 

::: sigh :::

Off to Seattle We Go ....

We left crazy early in the morning ... Nana and Elly took us over to Seattle for Nathan Pre-Op appointment ...

I adore being by the water.  LOVE it...  I am a true Cancer and I love to watch the water...  I have no issues being on the water.  I love it. 

(These were taken while waiting for the Kingston/Edmond's ferry .... )

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We got to Children's and took a potty break before heading to the appointment .... I hung out with the Muskrats, I mean Rugrats....

We got taken back... Nathan is 52.9 lbs and 4ft 1.8 in.  (He was 52.3lbs and 4ft 1.7in on December 20th, the appt prior to that on December 7th ... he was 4 ft and a half an inch and 52lbs ...)  He doesn't gain well, but he never has...  however he IS gaining still ...

Nathan's not crying or upset, he's bored... LOL ... and trying to stay away from Elly because she annoys him for the most part.  He doesn't know how to handle her screaming or her touching him with his Autism and sensory issues.... 

We got slated for Monday - to get the blasted G-Tube site closed - FINALLY.  It's only been a big hole open in his belly for 6 months now...   YAY...  and it'll be our very first outpatient surgery! No overnight (or three) in the hospital!

On the way home when we were on the ferry  .... 

Katie found her way up on top of the highest point in my room (she's like an inch if even from the ceiling ...) ...  and then Joy copied....

I came home and just kinda crashed .... got a long day tomorrow too - but doesn't start AS early as today .... 

Just some Chatter....

First off ....  I have to share this photo of today....  Nathan insisted that I take a picture of him with his Pokemon blanket in his mouth.......  yes.......  "TAKE A PICTURE" didn't understand him for awhile....  then I figured it out ....

But don't worry Nate....  I gottcha ....  I got your picture of your Pokemon blanket in your mouth.... 

ANYWAY ...... 

Tina and I are talking a lot - getting to know each other and all this fun stuff....  been talking about the boys and their births and just the boys overall ....  she's missing her daughter horribly but .... she'll get through it because her daughter is probably in the safest place she can be right now given her ex and his stupid threats.... 

But it's funny too - because of course things  happened quickly between Cal and Tina but I really really really like her....  because...

She's just like me!!

It's crazy!  We have a lot in common but ya know, not everything of course... 

Calahan says .... "Well mom, you know that they say you marry a woman like your mother" LOL

I tell him I'm sorry, and that I hope he survives.... 

It's funny though.   She's sassy, she's sarcastic ... and she has lived through some stuff that sucks and that is what builds character ....

.... we both have some character...  that's for sure. 

But damn if I'm not falling in love with her too .... I'm glad Cal found her.  I can only hope that she's "the one" because I like her .... 

.......... may I never ever dislike her in any big ways...  I'm sure we'll have a moment or two because it's bogus to think we won't....  when you love someone, you fight with them ....

........ which should have been my first clue that my first marriage was shit.... because besides a few moments where I got so pissed at him, or when he was verbally beating me down .... we never fought. 

Anyway ....  nothing interesting happened today.  Not.a.damn.thing. 

So that's all ya get!!

HAPPY 2019!!! And Goals....

 So I teeter between the philosophy of ...

WHY ONLY MAKE RESOLUTIONS ON THE FIRST OF EVERY YEAR?  If you are really committed to them, why not any other time of the year?

and ...

WHY NOT?

So I tend to call them "goals" instead of resolutions .....  and it's good to start a year with a list of goals?  Right? 

RIGHT!!!  Just agree with me, it's easier .... just ask my husband. 

These were my GOALS for 2018.....   after, in red, I'll admit to how I did (or we did) .... 

#1: Keep the streak going of keeping Nathan non-admitted! We are 2 1/2 years out from him being in the hospital for any kind of hospital stay, this includes for surgery.  Which is AMAZING.  We're going to keep this up and keep this kid healthy!  We made it 3 years and a couple months, because Nathan had to have surgery this fall to remove baby teeth, fix some teeth, and to do a gum graph prior to him getting braces. While he didn't get SICK and be in the hospital - it was still a hospital stay.  We're also not starting a new countdown because we know he has another surgery coming up - if he doesn't stay over night from that one, we'll start the countdown up from the last one.  LOL 

#2: I want DB and I to really make more time for him and I.  A monthly date.  Really need it.  It would be amazing if we could really make this happen.  I'm going to start keeping track of it and trying to set one day a month aside for just him and I...  Frankly we just couldn't afford it and probably can't afford it this year either.  BUT it is something we really want to do and need to make time and effort to make a priority.  Sadly it's just not a priority over rent, bills, food on the table, and the health needs of the household..... so yeah....  

#3: I want read at least 12 books this year.  That's one a month.  I don't get a lot of time to read, and I've been making it more of a point to really get back into reading. I set this up for two a month plus two last year and I think I read 3 books total all year.  You'd think I would have easily made this happen.  Oye.  This is sad and I don't even want to admit this .... but........ I read ONE book the whole year.  And it was a book I started reading in the summer of 2017.  Yeah.  That's pretty effing bad.  I used to read a book a week and now it's just like ... I got so much on my plate and so much that I'm doing and I all ....... :::sigh:::  I want to read.  It's like trying to find the money to carve out for dates! LOL 

#4: Polish the book that was finished, and figure out what I want to do with it.  Still need to do this...  NEED to make this happen.  I did't ....  I don't even think I've really looked at that book since I finished it.  Horrible author I am.  I am no good at polishing .... I need someone to do it for me. 

#5: Be part of the #365Project of sharing at least one photo a day.  I'm doing it on Facebook and Instagram (and Twitter because Instagram posts to my Twitter.)  I think I'll add it to my Google+ too. (I'll have to catch up there though) .... I still want to do this.  I really do, just one year I want to do this.  BWAHAHAHHAAHAHAHHAHAAHAHHAHAHHAA .... nope, fail, big fat ugly fail..

#6: I REALLY want to write at least one blog a day. I know I have said this the past couple of years, and I fully intend to, but then life runs away and ... ugh.  I stop.  But blogging is literally my main form of therapy.  I have to purge my feelings.  My blog isn't a "working" blog.  It's not about making money, it's JUST about sharing my life and being able to look back on my blog for the memories.  If you happen to follow along, great!  I know this is probably unrealistic ... especially after coming off of such a bad year of blogging.  So..... I am going to call this a success if I can blog 15 days a month.  That would be a starting point.  I do .... I do want to write ONE NEW BLOG A DAY ... across any of my blogs.  Won't happen though....  nope.  I need to accept this fact....  

#7:Make new friends.  Um........ I guess I've done this?  

#8: Need to get some of my health issues more under control, maybe if I do that - I'll feel a lot better over all and I want to continue this!  I am about the same, maybe a smidge worse..... 

#9: Lose weight.  I was under 200lbs and now I'm over again, I hate it.  Thank you insulin!  I want to lose it again.  I still want to lose weight - so I'm hoping we can do a YMCA membership, this would be good for everyone. Definitely ALWAYS a goal.... 

#10: We need to do family game night and family movie night more often.  We've fallen out of practice.  I would like to see us doing both once a week, but I'd settle for one or the other each week.   Yes we do and we made it a few nights last year but not a regular thing.  This year, we're going to make it regular <3 

#1: Spending more time as a family.  If this be family movie night or family game night or getting out and doing some exploring as a family, even if it's free or only costs gas and lunch....  we're going to do things as a family.  PERIOD.

#2: I want DB and I to really make more time for him and I.  A monthly date.  Really need it.  It would be amazing if we could really make this happen.  I'm going to start keeping track of it and trying to set one day a month aside for just him and I...  Even if this is one night that we just have a SAH-Date .... (stay-at-home date) ...  it's hard to do with him being in college and all the boys and MEH but ..... I don't want us to suffer. 

#3: I want read at least 12 books this year.  That's one a month.  This is an amazing want.  And it's true, I DO want to read more.  But I'm going to decrease this and say .... I want to read TWO books this year, and if I read more, GREAT!  (Children's -elementary- books don't count)

#4: Really work hard on the current book! I'm currently starting chapter 10 and I would REALLY love to have this one done by the end of the year.  I am really proud of this one and honestly, this is the FIRST book I've ever actually been proud of. 

#5: Start to meditate and maybe start yoga.  Something I can do by myself, on my bed ..... or find a spot on the floor. 

#6: I REALLY want to write something every day.  It can be a blog, notes in my writers journal, the book, or a insightful FB post, I want to write SOMETHING each day .... 

#7:Make new friends.  This is always a good goal ....

#8: Need to get some of my health issues more under control .... and be more active.

#9: Lose weight.  I was under 200lbs and now I'm over again, I hate it.  Thank you insulin!  I want to lose it again.  I still want to lose weight - so I'm hoping we can do a YMCA membership, this would be good for everyone. Definitely ALWAYS a goal....

#10:  Wanderlust .......... kinda addressed this one in the first goal.  But this one is a little different.  I want to go on a family adventure once a month, which could be local and free .....  but I want to take one weekend, anytime through the year, and spend a weekend, not at home, with my husband and just my husband.  Just one get-away... just the two of us.  <3

Most of them are the same as 2018 ....  but there are some changes!  <3

We didn't do much, and this year I didn't do the annual drunk kids photos ....  this was the first year they all stayed up past midnight...   and we could hear the fireworks going off in Seattle at the Space Needle.... 

We literally just had a very low key night.  We had spaghetti for dinner ....  (or "Noodles & Sauce" as we call it.) ....

I pet battled the night away .....

Got my midnight kiss!!!

And that was pretty much it!  <3 

So from our family to yours.......... HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!