I have joked that my oldest child was my "trial and error" child. In a way it's true. I have to say that he is how I learned to be a mom. However each of my children are vastly different.
My oldest, he was a handful, bless his heart. The temper in that tiny boy was amazing. He has ADHD, ODD, and a few other learning disabilities. He went through a leukemia scare at two and a half. He has had a lot of weight put on his shoulders. But his heart, his love for all things living, and the emotional pain he felt when that that he loved was hurt or wronged was and is breathtaking. He has learned to manage his anger, still needs to keep working on it, but I am proud of the man he is becoming. He has a very strong sense of family. When someone messes with his family, he isn't afraid to let them know. But he reigns himself in and tries not to feed into the drama and be the bigger person. I am excited to see who he is going to be and what he's going to do.
My #2 was fought for hard. This one taught me what a miracle was. Infertility is an ugly beast - even when you already have a child or children. Fertility drugs are no joke, either. Finding out after many miscarriages and heartache, that the baby you finally have tucked safely in your womb has a very rare genetic disorder... it's numbing. When you hear words like "your baby won't live" or "mentally & physically delayed"... you literally can't breathe... he was given no hope. I was told he would die, for sure. He didn't though. He was born 1 lb 12 oz and a fighter. I often say that he got my stubborn and it saved his life. He proved all those wrong that said he wouldn't live to see any tomorrows ... but today he is 14. He has had a fight, but he takes it on like a champ. He is an amazing kids who has a love for everything geekdom. Doctor Who, the superheros, Star Wars, and so much more. He may forever live with us. He always tries to be positive, and he avoids conflict. His love for animals is massive.
More miscarriages, a divorce, more miscarriages in a new relationship headed toward marriage... and....
#3 came along. Surprise!! When his pregnancy started to mimic #2's pregnancy I got scared. But I was assured he didn't have the same issues as #2. No, he had different ones. Two vessel umbilical cord. Dandy Walker Variant. He came tiny too, 3 lbs 4 oz. Cleft palate, thyroid problems, growth issues, hearing issues, non-verbal.. GTube, shots of HGH daily... this kid goes through so much. The lists of his diagnoses is long. But he has the most infectious smile and laugh. He inspires everyone who meets him. It's a constant fight just to get him to grow and gain weight, and stay out of the hospital, he has had more surgeries and hospital visits, it's ridiculous. Through it all, he bounces back.
We learned to appreciate every moment, even more so with both #2 and #3. To many close calls with losing them... it's about all the moments and memories that you can make.
#4 ... oh dear. Finally another fat healthy baby. He burst into the world announcing the new boss of the family had arrived, and boy did he! With #3's medical issues and being so close in age, it was like taking care of two newborns, they have always acted like twins - complete with their own unique language. They are the closest and inseparable... He is so smart and he is so curious and absorbs everything he can. He is going to be our overachiever, and we couldn't be prouder. He also keeps #3 progressing. #3 has to make it clear that he is the older brother (even though he looks younger) and can do anything #4 can.
#5 is the last to join us, but he is the oldest. His bio mom and I were fast and amazing friends. As I got to know her, I learned a lot of things I didn't like. But he and I always had an amazing connection. I saw a good kid who got a raw deal with his family situation. She passed away a few years ago. I found out he was homeless over two years ago, on the streets with his girlfriend. Within 15 minutes a plan was in place to get them. They were just looking for a shower and a place to crash for a night or two, but they never left. He was mine from that moment. And so was she. She has a little girl from a previous relationship and my husband and I were excited to become Nonna and Poppy. It's been a rough time. Adopting them as adults, where they have a warped sense of family and almost everyone turned their backs on them at one point or another. Where their lives were (and still is) a constant battle of the game "Who Can You Trust?" .... they constantly are waiting for us to turn our backs on them and kick them out. Still to this day. We get that it's hard to change that mentality when it's all you have known. They are only just now really learning what unconditional love is. We parent them just as we do all of them even when though they are 22. Because it's just not something they have had. so it's hard on all sides, but they understanding that it's because we love them. They did bless us with the most amazing granddaughter #2. She lives with us and we get granddaughter #1 a day or two every week. They have changed a lot in the last two years and for the better. Not only are they growing as adults but also in their relationship. Neither of them have had good examples there either, so a lot of their fights are who can hurt who the most with things they don't mean. Thankfully, they are learning that isn't how to love each other... and are forgiving and willing to grow with each other. We are so proud of them with the strides they have made to improve their lives and create a better life for their kids then the example they grew up with. I am just as excited to see them grow into a lot better people then they were in the path to become, and excited to watch their love grow with each other, growing as a couple and a family.
Grandmother before I turned 40.... I guess it's only fair, I did the same to my mom ... only she was 40.
I love my kids like no other. All I ever wanted to be was a mom, and I wanted a big family. I had to fight to have kids. 16 miscarriages, two with the help of fertility drugs, premature babies, medical issues, each pregnancy was really hard on me. I was high risk from test to screaming baby, pretty much. It wasn't an easy road.... but it was worth it.
I am proud of all my kids. They want have had some very high mountains to climb, and watching them overcome all those obstacles... we couldn't be prouder.
Mom of 5 boys... that's me. They have all taken me down different roads and taught us different things... and that "starter" child was just the beginning of very different children that followed, and it's been an adventure learning to parent each in the way they needed to be parented.
Kale wrote this, directly because and following what I wrote.
i find something funny mean really funny i ready someones post kinda hit me were i am lol everyone who knows me knows what kinda of a person i am i am a social butterfly and love to help people out when they need it i am all ways there with a shoulder to cry i found out last Friday i have severe ptsd and anxiety and all this other crap and tbh only the people close to me have seen it the sad part is i message a lot of buddies on here and ask them how they are and all that but out of alllllllllll my friends on here who asks me how i am i got a message from a good friend of mine on his way to work of all places to see how i was these past 3 or 4 weeks i have gotten maybe 3 messages from friends AND family asking how i was the funny thing about all this is the excuse i get is i am busy is 2 minutes to see how someone who has been there for you really that hard i honestly dont get it the point i am trying to make is were i am is prob one of the best places i can be this amazing women and amazing man brought me into there house and asked me on a day to day basis how i was checked up on me was there for some fucked up injury's made sure me my fiance and my daughter didnt go with out and still i fight with these struggles on a day to day basis and no matter what these people who ARNT family who are now lol my adopted parents have been threw a lot with me i guess all i can say is thank you to those select few and thank you to my adopted parents for really being by my side when i needed someone the most
He always writes in one huge run on sentence, lol, but the message is there and I'm so deeply touched. It's important that he knows he can trust us and no matter what, we will always be his family.
