Sunday Fun-day!

Nope...  nope, probably not.

Spent a couple hours watching Paranormal Lockdown with my hubby beofe going to sleep, and finishing up yesterday's blog...  blowing my snot hole over and over and over (see the tissues, just barely, on my laptop) ...

It seems DB are putting on a concert .....  (him) COUGH cough CoUgH cOuGh (me) COUGH cough CoUgH cOuGh (him) COUGH cough CoUgH cOuGh (me) COUGH cough CoUgH cOuGh (him) COUGH cough CoUgH cOuGh (me) COUGH cough CoUgH cOuGh (him) COUGH cough CoUgH cOuGh (me) COUGH cough CoUgH cOuGh (him) COUGH cough CoUgH cOuGh (me) COUGH cough CoUgH cOuGh (him) COUGH cough CoUgH cOuGh (me) COUGH cough CoUgH cOuGh (him) COUGH cough CoUgH cOuGh BLOW THE NOSE (me) COUGH cough CoUgH cOuGh (him) COUGH cough CoUgH cOuGh (me) COUGH cough CoUgH cOuGh (him) COUGH cough CoUgH cOuGh (me) COUGH cough CoUgH cOuGh (him) COUGH cough CoUgH cOuGh (me) COUGH cough CoUgH cOuGh (him) COUGH cough CoUgH cOuGh (me) COUGH cough CoUgH cOuGh (him) COUGH cough CoUgH cOuGh (me) COUGH cough CoUgH cOuGh (him) COUGH cough CoUgH cOuGh (me) COUGH cough CoUgH cOuGh BLOW THE NOSE  (him) COUGH cough CoUgH cOuGh (me) COUGH cough CoUgH cOuGh (him) COUGH cough CoUgH cOuGh (me) COUGH cough CoUgH cOuGh (him) COUGH cough CoUgH cOuGh (me) COUGH cough CoUgH cOuGh (him) COUGH cough CoUgH cOuGh (me) COUGH cough CoUgH cOuGh (him) COUGH cough CoUgH cOuGh (me) COUGH cough CoUgH cOuGh (him) BLOW THE NOSE COUGH cough CoUgH cOuGh (me) COUGH cough CoUgH cOuGh (him) COUGH cough CoUgH cOuGh (me) COUGH cough CoUgH cOuGh (him) COUGH cough CoUgH cOuGh (me) COUGH cough CoUgH cOuGh (him) COUGH cough CoUgH cOuGh (me) COUGH cough CoUgH cOuGh (him) COUGH cough CoUgH cOuGh (me) BLOW THE NOSE COUGH cough CoUgH cOuGh (him) COUGH cough CoUgH cOuGh (me) COUGH cough CoUgH cOuGh (him) COUGH cough CoUgH cOuGh (me) COUGH cough CoUgH cOuGh (him) COUGH cough CoUgH cOuGh (me) COUGH cough CoUgH cOuGh (him) COUGH cough CoUgH cOuGh (me) COUGH cough CoUgH cOuGh (him) COUGH cough CoUgH cOuGh (me) COUGH cough CoUgH cOuGh

Sounds like a great concert right?  Especially the horn parts! (and if you are like, huh? ... clearly you didn't really look at that!)

So I turned the TV off around 1am.  I then did some word searches and did some coloring ... surfed Facebook.  I don't think I actually fell asleep until after 3am.  Woke up around 10:30am and went back to sleep as much as I could with a noisy Bubba - for about an hour.

I just feel like crap.  I feel like I could sleep all day.  I don't make sick look good today ....  I look tired.

Bubba took pity on me for a minute, and THEN he said he didn't want the flu and left me.

So ...... most of today was faced with sleep.  Sleep - because it is great ... it's great for healing and fighting the flu.  SLEEP ....

Until my mom came into my room and poked at me until my eyes opened - meanwhile my attack dogs children didn't even peep any kind of warning alarm ...  they just let her in and let her attack me!

But I can't blame her as she came baring bad news....

She told me that my sister, Heather's - step-dad - died.  Her step-dad who bore the same first name as my ex husband and for a split I was like "He's dead? He's really dead?" ... and then it dawned on me. It was her step-dad.  Then I went into support mode, and I need to be there for her - support her, hug her as much as I can over a screen and typing, and she was indeed heartbroken, is heartbroken. I'm heartbroken for her.

I wish I could scoop her up and get her here and never send her home.  On top of it......  a certain someone in her life told her she was being selfish because she didn't watch to call until after the football game was done and wrecked the whole evening for that person.  Needless to say, I wanted to punch that person in the face if I could reach all the way across the country - practically.  The only one being SELFISH in that moment was that person!!  I am still pretty pissed about that reaction.  "Hey my Dad is dead, the only dad I've ever known, I need your love and support" ...  but no, she's selfish.  (grumble grumble curse curse scream!) 

She is my sister!  She might not be my sister by blood, anymore then he was her dad by blood, but we all know blood does NOT always matter and this was her DAD and she is my SISTER and I want to beat someone.  Protective sister mode is a real thing.  I will kick ass and not regret it.

I wish I could be there for her, I wish I could hug her and hold her up and let her know she's not alone because that is the biggest thing going through her mind right now.  She's alone.  But she's NOT alone.  She belongs with us, and I wish beyond anything she could pick up and move out here because we are her family.  We have been family for as long as I've been alive, even before we were both born, cuz my mom and her mom were the best of friends.  I wish a lot of things.  I wish she weren't hurting so bad, I wish I could take all these crappy feelings she's feeling away and make it better or at least easier to handle.  I can't replace any of it though, and I can't be there to physically hold her up... the only thing I can do is be her emotional rock.

Just like I've been the emotional rock for my best friend and I wouldn't change anything about it, for either of them.  I wish I could bring back my best friend's baby, I wish that my sister didn't lose both her parents in under 2 years of each other.  IT SUCKS.  It sucks to watch the people I love in so much pain.  It just sucks.

The thing I hate the most, HATE HATE HATE the most.... is that my sister is blaming herself.  The same thing kills me about my best friend.  Neither of them could have changed the events that happened.  There are all kinds of what if's but sometimes what if's are not the question to answer, or ask.  My sister is blaming herself because she is thinking she should have spent more time with him, she should have been there for him more than she was.  She forgets that she has to take care of her before she can take care of anyone else (same thing she would tell me in a heartbeat.)   You always think you have more time to do something with those you love, you always think you have more time, you have plenty of time ....  but the truth is, you never know just how much time you really have.  You just don't and it isn't in your control.

I told her today....

"You can't think that it's your fault though.  Nothing you did or didn't do would have mattered.  If someone or something else happened it would have likely happened when you weren't there.  So you can't put that burden on yourself, it will destroy you. I can't have you destroyed cuz I need you.  You have me, you have mom,  you have DB and the boys.  We may not be blood, but we have been family since birth."

I said it because another one of my best friends said it.  And it's true.  It's absolutely true.

She said to me tonight, "I didn't get to say goodbye" and I thought - most people really don't get that chance to say goodbye to someone who is breathing.  Death is not a beast that works on a schedule.

I got to talk to this little muffin though ...   She was all smiles to see Nonna and was totally chatting me up.  She blew me kisses, said "HI" and "BYE" ... and she showed me (again) how she can run.

I always love watching her - and I love love love the big smiles she gives me when she sees me.  Of course they are completely overshadowed by the bigger ones she gives Kaedyn! LOLOL

Shortly after I got off the phone with her, I got these two to sleepy ...

And the hubby and I watched Joy - which was REALLY good by the way  I love Jennifer Lawrence.

And now I'm watching Now You See Me 2 with the hubby :)

Oh and the Packers lost ........ ugh....... So there goes the last team I would want to support in the Super Bowl, bah!

This & That ... and the other thing too .... a long blog

Today is day TWO of the clear liquid diet where I can't have anything solid and I'm miserable.  I'm basically eating Jello and Lemon Italian Ice.  Meh.

So .... yesterday, getting my Italian Ice, the cashier at the Dollar Store whispered to my husband, "Is she pregnant" ...  I heard her whisper, thought I heard her ask that, but wasn't one hundred percent, sure enough....  after he told her NO! .... she starts to laugh, and starts talking about how his face was all "don't jinx me" and stuff.  I wanted to roll my eyes.  The whole time we're checking out - she's going on about his face when she asked and how he look terrifed.  And I wanted to say, yeah he look terrified for YOU for asking such a rude question. If you don't know, keep your mouth shut.  Shut it.  Yep, shut that mouth.  :::sigh:::  I really didn't bother me that much, ha!  But I was walking around with my hand on my belly (cuz of pain) and my belly is bloated.  So yeah, I look pregnant.

Also yesterday ..... okay, so before new years I ended up in the ER twice.  Night one I thought I blew out a cyst.  Like, literally.  The pain was so bad on my left side, where my ovary is, that I was literally sitting there with a fist in that area, my leg pushed up against my fist - pressing it into my lower belly area.  It helped.  Didn't help my fist/hand cuz I would lose feeling in it but ... who cares about that.

I told my Mom (over messenger) that I thought a cyst burst, and being how mom's are, she tells me to go in and get checked out (cuz there is always a chance of bleeding internally if it happens)

So I do what all good daughters do and listen to their Mommy.  And regretted it.

Now - back up a little here, I have a fatty liver issue - not cuz I'm fat, just cuz I'm sick.  I mean - I am fat, but that's not the point.  I'm not THAT fat.  Geez.  I don't drink alcohol... I did, socially, for 6 months, and that ended real quick cuz I don't like the taste of alcohol.  Even the drink I liked back then for those 6 months I don't like anymore.  Not one bit.  So no, I don't drink.

So I know when my right side starts hurting around my lower ribs, it's my liver being mad.  Check!  That's been going on.  Crabby ass liver.

However, my left side, same general area, has also been hurting and wrapping around my back.  I thought it might be a kidney, or lung, being a brat.  I can't exactly put it in the corner for a time out, so I just deal.   I live in a constant state of pain - it is just a "what is your normal gonna be?"  ... it takes a lot to make me cry from pain, so you know if I'm crying from pain, I'm in A LOT of pain.  A LOT.

I live in a constant state of 5 ...  that's a 5 on the 1 to 10 pain scale.  So going up to a ten isn't hard.

Now, if I'm crying, I'm like a 12, maybe a 15.

So we go to the ER and it's packed, I walked out - told DB I wasn't going to wait int he chair for hours, I couldn't take the pain like that - that- long ... if I could lay down I'd be fine... but I couldn't. So we went to Urgent Care and the wait there was just as long, so we went back to the ER.  I just wanted to go home.

Well, with that cyst, and all the other pain, I was *almost* crying.  At times I did tear up.  Add in the fact that I had to wait in the waiting room for FIVE HOURS.  FIVE HOURS.  (screams with teeth clenched) ...  Poor Hubby was getting pissed when people who came in after us were going back before me.  Now, at a certain time they start taking less sick patients (like with strep throats or a cold) and take care of them quickly just to move through the easy stuff faster.  And there I sat, in pain.  Every few minutes I'm telling DB to calm down.  Chill out.  And it worked, until they took the girl who came in after me - who was in clear pain also ... first.  THEN he about lost it.  But like three minutes later they called me back.  So, all good.  I ended up in a Trama room and she ended up in the double room with the curtain wall.... soooooo I think I got the better room.  Yep.

But what pissed me off was when we were in the waiting room, there was a group of three people who came in about two hours after we had been there, saying they had been there since noon (an hour before we got there) ...  There was another group of three people on the other side of the room and they had come in after us.  One guy with a mask on, the other two were just along for the ride.  The girl with the holey jeans and the knee high black boots had gone to Taco Bell and brought it back to the waiting room and I wanted to punch her for that.  Then group of 3 left and group of 3 right started conversating about SnapChat back and forth across the room and laughing and carrying on - and I wanted to throat punch them all.  ALL OF THEM.

Then the two girls who came in after us - who were a couple (you go girls!) - started talking - and one of them kept saying the "R" word every other word.  If you don't know what the "R" word is, look it up in Google, just search "offensive R word" and it'll pop right up for you. Or simply read this OPEN LETTER, and educate yourself.  I wanted to educate this woman on how using the "R" word as an adjective is extremely offensive but I was in way too much pain to be kind and not go off on someone.  But it was pissing me off cuz every other word was the "R" word.  I mean seriously - I have a child who has mental delays and I want to throat punch anyone who says it as an adjective (including some of my own friends, whom I tell to stop it but after you tell them to stop it a million times it's like - why waste my breath anymore, obviously they don't get it.... well until I start saying things that are offensive to them.  And then I just get into trouble.  Sigh.)  ... So I wanted to shout at left side and right side cuz clearly they were not in the ER for any reason that they should have been and should have just gone to Urgent Care, but I know not all clinics around here has an Urgent Care, so I just shut my mouth.  And Miss "R" word moved.  Then the guy comes in spitting in his puke bag every couple minutes cuz he's pretty sure he has strep and he can't swallow and that is definitely a reason for him to be put first.  (SCREAMS THROUGH TEETH)

Anyway - I get taken back, blood work is done (I wouldn't let them put in an IV unless there was a reason to, like me getting fluids or something.  I didn't go in for being dehydrated, if they needed to put an IV in for something other than blood work, I would have been fine - but it wasn't. So I just told them to draw the blood and that was that.) ...

The PA comes in, he's listening to me.  Says "I really wish they put an IV in you" ... after me telling him 10 times that was my fault, I refused it, he still didn't seem to get it.  Also, we couldn't grasp my reproductive history.  I have 4 kids that I have given birth to.  I have had 16 miscarriages.  I have had 19 pregnancies.  He couldn't understand that 1 child that was born, and one miscarriage, was one pregnancy cuz it was twins.  I miscarried one baby, found out I was still pregnant with the other one (Cal).  "So you had 20 pregnancies" ... he even had me doubting my math for a second.  No, 19 pregnancies, 16 miscarriages, 4 live births.  ::smacks head::  I can guarantee he still didn't grasp it when he left.   Oh and a Dermoid cyst which is a wanna-be-baby all on it's own.  Trust me, mine had hair, some have teeth.   Not many people have a picture of theirs and can go "Oh my cyst had my hair!" ... yep, I can....

Regardless, he gave me oral pain meds, and nausea meds (since I refused the IV) and ordered an ultrasound.  This became a thing on FB for my gutter minded friends, cuz I did oral and got probed.. but it was a laugh.  It was all good.

The result of my NINE HOUR ER visit was ... I had a cyst on my left ovary (un-popped) and Pancreatitis (left side pain that has been wrapping around my back.)

Follow up with my reg. Doc on Jan. 5th - Cal's 21st Birthday.  Where he told me to go on a clear liquid diet for at least 3 days (or 3 days, break, 3 days, break, until I feel better) ... I said I wasn't going to start the diet until after his birthday cuz I want cake dammit.  It's my birthday too!  I gave birth to him after all.  So I started it yesterday.  (I have learned I can't do it without cheating a little, and I can eat a lot of Jello at one time!) ...

Ended up in the ER the very next night because I was doing a video chat with Kale, Shila and Elly and while I was taking down the phone so the rest of the house could say HI ... I fell down the stairs. Yep, my happy ass thought the stairs was a slide and I almost did the splits on them.  No idea what happened, but when it did - Kaedyn (who was walking next to me) fell too, after I did.  Oye.  He was fine though, I was not.

My left ankle (what is it with my left side!?!?!) started to swell and I couldn't move my 4 toes.  I could wiggle my big toe a bit, but it HURT like a mo'fo.

Off to the ER we went ...... yeppers....

I brought a book this time!  And my phone charger!  I was prepared this time!  Good thing too, cuz even though we weren't there NINE HOURS .. we were there about FIVE!  After about two hours in the waiting area... an xray that pissed me off - cuz - she only got an image of my ankle, when I clearly told them it was my ankle, foot and toes ...  so they did xrays to "save time" and when the x-ray tech didn't do any images of my toes I said "you can see my toes with those views?" and she says "Well no, but they just ordered ankle" and I said ... "I'm not worried about my ankle so much as I am my toes, I can't move four of my toes" and I showed her.  She wasn't impressed.  She started to baby talk me about how ... blah blah blah.  I continued to argue with her a little bit and in the middle of her telling me the same thing in a third way I just rolled my eyes, told her forget it, and just take me back out and I'd just see her later when I saw the doctor.

So after two hours in the waiting area, I got a bed in the hall.  Which - honestly - didn't care because it was just my foot, I didn't need to be in a gown or anything like that.  He ordered pain meds, so I got those, didn't touch the pain much.  He also wanted ice on it.  All of a sudden it dawned on me, I never got the ice packs, so I told DB to get them for me when I saw a couple other patient family members getting some ice water.  So I had him get me two - and surrounded my poor throbbing foot.

After DB got me the ice, he went outside.  At that point two things happened...... one.... the little old cleaning lady (Pacific Islander) was cleaning the room across from the ice/watch machine.  There is a Pacific Islander male nurse, and she talks to him a lot.  "George! George!" she'd yell when she couldn't see him.  I almost wonder if she was his mother the way she saught him out.  Anyway ... she calls him over and says something to the effect of "need to put a sign on it saying don't help yourself"  LOLOLOL...  I was like, wow.   She had been watching everyone around the ice machine.. including DB.  I told him when he got back.

So after that happened, I was pressing on my foot a bit, and I noticed that under my toe was a bruise.  Now I know when I broke my right foot - from it breaking, I had a lot of blood pool to the lowest gravity point and that was the side of my right foot at the time, cuz I had it sideways mostly.  So at this point I had been sitting in a wheelchair mostly - so it wasn't until then that I really really considered that my toe was broke.

So, the xray tech that had seen me prior had left.  But I did end up having to get another xray.  It didn't show a break - however xrays don't always show breaks right away.  He did say at the very least, I tore up some tendons and ligaments pretty good.

But before we leave the ER.  The little old cleaning lady struck again.  They had put a little family with an older infant (one year around, give or take a few months) and the nurse, during her discharge, had come out to get milk out of the fridge (under the ice machine) ... and took it in with her.  Well ... after they left, the LOCL  (little old cleaning lady) went in and comes out of the room and says "George, GEORGE!"  He rounds the corner as she's walking towards the nurses station.  "Someone spilled milk in there!"  She's literally upset about it.  Like they did it on purpose.  He pats her on the back and says "I'm sure it was just an accident."  and I'm floored.  I'm sure she's had to clean up worse things then milk, and she gets upset at milk????

I got a "boot" shoe for my foot, told I need to wear it as much as possible, which has been never.  Cuz the strap falls on my big toe right where it hurts the most.  It hurts worse to wear that thing then it does to wear my good supportive sneakers ...  so yeah, I pass.  But my reg. doc yelled at me about that on the 5th.  He's like "you need to wear it" ... nope.  "you need to wear it" ... nope... it went on like that for awhile.  I just stop telling him nope.  Cuz we were at an impasse.

So most of my days since, have been spent like this..... side foot ice packs, alternate with top and bottom foot ice packs.  And cats being concerned about my foot and sleeping by it for comfort?

When it's not iced up, it's wrapped out - sometimes it's both - iced and wrapped!

A couple days into the new year I see new bruising on top of my foot too.  Oye...

Excuse my janky nail polish.  And it's all still swollen.  Even being iced almost constatnly - cuz that's what feels best.

So - that's what I've been up to.  A whole lot of nothing, thanks to a busted foot and pain!  YAY!

This pretty view though, makes living here worth it.  All the water and the mountains.

Stopped at the store yesterday and parked next to this....

This was also hanging out in the parking lot.  Guess the Seachicks (cheerleaders) were coming and I'm not sure who else.  But ...  we weren't going to stick around to find out.

Boys got home and Kaedyn called his favorite girls.  This funny green thing was going on with his tablet, only with calls though.

I guess my insulin that I've been on for a long time now, has been switched and my insurance no longer covers the old one (green) without a prior auth.  So now I'm on the other one (purple.)  I'm like, it's got a purple label, can't be all that bad.

This is Bella...  she has apparently taken over Bubba's coat....

This is Callie Joe ...  she's the queen of the castle, or so she thinks.  Cee-Cee still doesn't show her face much, so I still haven't gotten a picture of her.

Jaxson - the "criminal" "newton" dog....

My Alyvia

Everyone's favorite Marshmellow  .. practically laying on Kaedyn's tablet....

And Cal's Miss Kinsleigh

The End.

Seahawks WIN!

Anyone who knows me, knows.........  I am NOT a huge sports fan.  The extent o my whole world of sports was Ice Skating and Gymnastics.  Yep.

I am a Packers fan my birth, and force.  My mom yells at me whenever I am supporting the Seahawks over the Packers.  So I have to be a Packers fan if they are playing against the Seahawks.  LOL.

Truth is, I have THREE teams that I support.  Packers (by birth and force) ... Vikings because I've always been married to or around Vikings Fans because of family being around.  But I have been a Seahawks fan for awhile.  A looong while.

So I am always cheering on my Hawks!!  So I put on a little pride today for the game...

Now they were playing the Vikings.  So my husband is cheering on the Vikings...  and they were winning, most the game......

I threw my hat on Miss Elly ....

And this happened like ... 30 seconds later....

Let me tell you - DB flew across the room I thought he was going to jump through the TV, and he was SCREAMING "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" lolol...

OMGosh - I was laughing so hard.  SO HARD.

I even had to call my Mom and ask her if my Step-Dad was hiding in shame!  I could just see him in the bar with his hands over his face, shaking his head.... or trying to sneak out with embarrassment.

I feel bad for him.

BUT I RUBBED IT IN DB'S FACE!!!!!!!!!  AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH ....

GO HAWKS!!!  Next week - we torture North Carolina!!

Happy 9th Anniversary

Nine Years ago today, I dragged DB's sorry butt to the courthouse ....  I was 18 weeks pregnant and it was definitely not the wedding we were planning.  It was the quick - we're going to get us legal because we have a baby on the way with medical issues, and we'll have our *real* wedding later.  But that hasn't happened.  I wish I could say *next year* for our 10th ... but I don't think that will happen either.  :(

Regardless ...... 9 years is something!!  Especially since he didn't even last a year with his first two marriages.  He vowed he'd never get married again.  Then he saw my picture and says he just knew he was going to marry me.  He has told me that since the get go.  He was going to marry me.

Usually I do this sappy love note thing on Social Media and tag him in it ....  but last night, I decided to do a little something else.   This is what I posted......

HA HA HA HA HA ..... and looking down on the comments - you can see his reaction....

We didn't do much - I haven't been feeling well, he's not feeling very well either...  We laid in bed, watched the Seahawks game and the Packers game, we watched the first few episodes of Jessica Jones.  Played WOW.  We had some fake champagne in coffee mugs.  Had ham & stuffing for dinner.  We just spent time together.  I got to explain to Kaed what an "anniversary" was.  Told him it was the "birthday" of our marriage.  He understood that.  He's been with us most the day, he's been Croupy.  

There was a little bit of annihilation going on .... for both teams .....