Today feels like......

(this went up on FB today .... because Cal was being compared to someone manipulative, mentally and emotionally abusive.)

In our lives we choose to be supportive and loving.

Calahan watched me come out of an abusive situation and in the end standing up for myself and standing strong against it. I was no longer going to be manipulated and broken down by words. I taught my kids to stand up for what and who they believe in and because they have brothers who have medical needs and "typical" kids don't always treat them like kids who are just like them. You feel like someone is bullied, you stand up for that person. I mean even Cal got bullied as a child, badly, at his schools and it's good to see him when he stands up for what he believes in or someone who he feels is being mistreated. He is very protective of those he loves. I also raised him to be a good man. He is very kind hearted and loving, and he's still young and still learning and we might get annoyed with his lack of focus sometimes, lol, he's forgetful on those chores.... but he tries hard, and he usually means well. I've taught him to be respectful and sometimes respectful flies out the window, just like with anyone.

Cal has had a few girlfriends. There are the early girls who lasted a few months ... the stolen kisses in the alleys. We move to WA and he has a girlfriend for a short time and then he met his high school sweetheart. They dated for 5 years and, he had asked her to marry him at her graduation, he had even gotten her dad's permission to ask her. It was sweet. We worried though, because she had a very over protective family and they didn't get to see each other often. And slowly things began to change and things ended. Then there was ..... she who shant be named .... and her verbally and mental abuse of Cal, even some physical abuse... but it's like... I saw it and I got so mad, she was cheating on him and I had proof and he still believed her.... and I got so frustrated until I stepped back and looked at him and realized, I could get mad all I wanted and it wasn't going to change a thing. So I stepped back and looked at the situation ... and realized the only thing I was doing .... was losing my son and allowing her to win. So I started to remember he's an adult and he has the right to make his own decisions and his own mistakes. So I focused on supporting him. We'd talk about the various issues, but I tried not to get mad or let my anger about it show. I expressed my concerns and had to allow him to make his own choices.

What my son is NOT .... is abusive. What he is NOT is controlling. NOR is he comparable to someone who is.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CALAHAN!!!!

Twenty-three years ago today I labored 13 hours to squeeze this slimy alien out of my body. He came out screaming and the doctor, who was as horrified as I was at this tiny little.... boy thing. It took a nano-second for me to grab that screaming little human thing and fall instantly in love. I wasn't mad about the 13 hours of horrible pain and contractions and all the vomiting and the .....everything .... he put me through. He was my whole world, my whole life... and he made me the one thing I always wanted to be, and that was a mom. <3             He was 8lbs 7oz of wonder. He rarely cried as a newborn, unless he was hungry or I laid him in his cradle (but his crib was fine) .... He was always wide eyed and taking everything in. Always curious. He wasn't always the easiest child. After the Leukemia scare, the bone marrow testing and everything with that, he changed. The turned from this super smart little boy and regressed .. and I thought it was due to being traumatized by the scary medical tests he had to go through. The next few years would be rough. But we stumbled our way through it and by the age of 5, he was somewhat back to his normal .... then he became a big brother. I'm sure it was "normal" to him - everything that happened with Noah... but it wasn't, yet it was all Calahan knew. As the years have come and gone Calahan has grown into an amazing young man. He has this huge heart so full and capable of love. He is loyal to a fault. He has such compassion for animals, and people - especially if it's someone who's seen as being at a disadvantage or going through something tough - he is always willing to be a support or a shoulder. He has such a kind heart. Cal does have his faults, of course, like his quick temper. LOL ... and I know that he really wants someone to call his own. With Tina coming into his life, he has found this happiness I have never seen in him before.

So today, I wish my amazing son a very very happy 23rd birthday (even though it's MY birthday, cuz I was the one giving birth!) ... and I hope that this next year turns out to be so amazing for you. <3 <3 I love you baby boy.

Today we had Beef Stroganoff (asked for by the birthday boy) and cake ....

Hi World..... let me introduce Tina ...... Calahan's new and bestest main squeeze <3

Throwing rocks and making plops........

Vaping........  no, there is no nicotine in it

Funny Story: How Calahan Got His Name.....

The beginning of the blog is going to be a bit.....  serious.  The funny story isn't until the end of this.

I distinctly remember sitting in the little TV nook with my mom, seeing on TV, about this little boy named Adam being kidnapped from the SEARS store in Hollywood, FL.  That his mom was in another department and had let six year old Adam watch a group of boys playing a video game.

Adam was taken, his mother, Reve, was terrified, and Adam's story became the first really well known case of it's kid.  Yes, other kidnapped children had made headlines before, but mostly ransom cases and cases that didn't make families feel like ....  THIS could HAPPEN to THEM ....

Adam's case certainly made families feel as if .....  this COULD happen to them....  this was a regular family, in a regular Sears store ....

Reve Walsh was running errands on July 27, 1981 and had her son Adam with her. She was also pregnant with Meghan at the time.  They stopped at the mall and went into Sears.  There was a group of boys that was playing a video game and six-year-old Adam stopped to watch them, so Reve let him stay there to watch while she ran to the lamp department quick.  She wasn't gone but 5 maybe 10 minutes and when she went back, all the boys were gone - including Adam. Turned out a  teenage security guard had kicked all the boys out and so Adam was outside the store without his mom knowing.  Reve panicked, of course, not being able to find him and a search started for Adam. 

Sadly it was too late.  Someone had already snatched Adam up. 

** A note here.  When a child is missing in a store, they now call a "CODE ADAM" which alerts the staff to lock down the store until a full search is competed.   The term "CODE ADAM" was inspired by Adam Walsh and his story.

Of course, when John Walsh found out, he and Reve did everything they could do and could think of in order to try to find Adam and bring him home safely.  John found himself frustrated that they couldn't seem to get the news out faster and better than what was happening. 

Adam’s parents launched a massive hunt for their son; however, on August 10, 1981, his severed head was discovered by two fishermen in a drainage canal in Vero Beach, Florida, some 100 miles from Hollywood. His body was never found.

When all this happened, when Adam was kidnapped, I had just turned 5 years old.  I was around the same age as Adam and it was scary. 

The image of the little boy with his bat haunts me....

Anyway - there was a made-for-TV movie about Adam's kidnapping, and finding his head, and the horror of it all.  I remember little sister Meghan being born in the movie (dramatization not the real birth) and feeling hope for them.  But I was just a little kid. 

There was a second movie released.  "Adam's Song Continues" and it was about the first movie being on TV. It was about John's new passion - he was battling hard for missing children and finding ways to make it more effective to get the word out when a child is missing.  It was about him starting the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children.  At the end of the movie, Reve and John's third child is born.   Before I get to all that though .... let me finish this....

John and Reve Walsh has done some amazing things.  The Walsh's turned their grief into action, John Walsh quickly became a nationally recognized leader in the push for victims' rights.

In 1987, FOX contacted John about hosting a groundbreaking new reality show designed to track down the country's most notorious and dangerous fugitives.  By using tools like profiling the criminals, then sharing their cases to a national audience. The show was called America's Most Wanted and using it as his catapult for finding justice, John felt satisfaction in the fact that he could now bring some sort of closure that he had never found by bringing some sort of justice to other victims of violent crimes.



Ottis Toole, the prime suspect in the murder of Adam was never charged with the case due to lack of evidence.  He confessed to it, knew some details that hadn't been released to the public, but there were things in his confession that definitely were not true also.    Then he recanted his confession only to later confess again and recant again. 

Ottis Tool never was charged.  He died in prison while he was serving a life sentence for other crimes, including murder.  He and his partner, Henry Lucas, had traveled around on a killing spree.  Although in the initial confession, Ottis Toole said that Henry was involved in Adam's murder, Henry had been in jail at the time and there really isn't any better alibi than that.   This is one of the reasons the police weren't sure if they could "trust" his confession.  But Ottis Toole did know many key things that only the murderer would know ...  so there was some confusion. 

Sadly, without Adam's body, and with-out more evidence, the DA at the time didn't feel he could arrest and try Ottis Toole for the murder of Adam Walsh.  However; in 1996 when O. Toole was on his deathbed - he did make a deathbed confession saying that he had, indeed, murdered Adam Walsh. 

In 2008 - in December - after reviewing the case more, they (the police) determined there was substantial evidence to - enough - to name Ottis Toole as the murderer of Adam Walsh.  Case Closed. 

But is it?  Even thought this has been the long time theory - and the strict belief of John and Reve Walsh, that Toole is guilty....  there are other theories out there.  One includes Jeffery Dahmer and the fact that he was in Florida, in that area, at that time.  It's interesting giving what he would end up doing. 

John has done and accomplished some amazing things in his life.  All in the name of Adam....

• John has testified before Congress and state legislatures more than 55 times on crime, missing children and victims' issues.
• John and Revé worked for the passage of the Missing Children Act of 1982. 
• The Walsh's hard work and determination helped to pass the Missing Children's Assistance Act of 1984,
• which created National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC). NCMEC now serves as the national clearinghouse for information on missing children and the prevention of child victimization.
• Revé Walsh serves on the NCMEC Board of Directors.
• John serves on the Board's Chief Executive Officers Council and National Advisory Board, and acts as a NCMEC spokesperson.
• John is currently advocating a Constitutional Amendment for victims' rights.
• The Adam Walsh Child Protection and Safety Act is a federal statute that was signed into law on July 27, 2006, and adds guild lines for Sex Offenders on the Sex Offender Registry.

He has also had a hand in helping to pass or supporting other laws that the parents of other missing and murdered children had fought for - like Katie's Law and the Amber Alert System. 

John has been honored by law enforcement agencies around the country.

• 1988 US Marshals Man Of The Year award.
• 2000 FBI Man of the Year award.
• A Special Recognition Award by the US Attorney General—the only private citizen ever to receive this honor.
• Honors in the Rose Garden at The White House, four times by three presidents: Clinton, Bush (Sr.), and Reagan (twice).

John is also the author of three best-selling books, including Tears of Rage (1997), No Mercy (1998), and Public Enemies (2001).

The man is certainly one of my heroes ...  truly.  The way he took on the death of Adam and did so much good with it - and CONTINUES to do so much good with ... it's amazing. 

The John Walsh Family: Callahan, John, Meghan, Reve, and Hayden.

So here comes the funny story .......  

So while I was pregnant ....  we had picked out the name Caleb Bryce.  For some reason that name - in my ex husband's head - Caleb Bryce was too "feminine" for him ....  so I had to go on the hunt for another name and I wanted an Irish name...

So I was on bedrest at that point ... laying on the couch watching VHS movies we had taped off TV.  One of them was "Adam's Song Continues"  and at the end of the movie John and Reve's third child is born and they named him Callahan Adam Walsh .... and I thought, ooooooooh Callahan .... I like Callahan ...

So I wrote it down....  Callahan/Calahan ....  and I liked the one L version better because it looked like a name and not a surname. 

So Calahan it ended up being ..... 

So I'm watching TV the other night and there comes up a preview - John's new tv show.  "In Pursuit with John Walsh."  This will be airing on ID - btw - if anyone is interested. 

So during the preview I see this kid and it's Callahan - John's son and I'm all.... "HOLY SHIT!!! That's the guy who Calahan got named after!"  So I hollered for Cal and Tina to come in here - and I showed him and I was like.....  WOW .... (turns head to the side) .... he kinda looks like you! LOL ...

(Pictures of the TV during the preview) 

Just for shits & giggles....  Callahan (Walsh) and Calahan ...  side by side....  LOL

THE END .....

HAPPY 2019!!! And Goals....

 So I teeter between the philosophy of ...

WHY ONLY MAKE RESOLUTIONS ON THE FIRST OF EVERY YEAR?  If you are really committed to them, why not any other time of the year?

and ...

WHY NOT?

So I tend to call them "goals" instead of resolutions .....  and it's good to start a year with a list of goals?  Right? 

RIGHT!!!  Just agree with me, it's easier .... just ask my husband. 

These were my GOALS for 2018.....   after, in red, I'll admit to how I did (or we did) .... 

#1: Keep the streak going of keeping Nathan non-admitted! We are 2 1/2 years out from him being in the hospital for any kind of hospital stay, this includes for surgery.  Which is AMAZING.  We're going to keep this up and keep this kid healthy!  We made it 3 years and a couple months, because Nathan had to have surgery this fall to remove baby teeth, fix some teeth, and to do a gum graph prior to him getting braces. While he didn't get SICK and be in the hospital - it was still a hospital stay.  We're also not starting a new countdown because we know he has another surgery coming up - if he doesn't stay over night from that one, we'll start the countdown up from the last one.  LOL 

#2: I want DB and I to really make more time for him and I.  A monthly date.  Really need it.  It would be amazing if we could really make this happen.  I'm going to start keeping track of it and trying to set one day a month aside for just him and I...  Frankly we just couldn't afford it and probably can't afford it this year either.  BUT it is something we really want to do and need to make time and effort to make a priority.  Sadly it's just not a priority over rent, bills, food on the table, and the health needs of the household..... so yeah....  

#3: I want read at least 12 books this year.  That's one a month.  I don't get a lot of time to read, and I've been making it more of a point to really get back into reading. I set this up for two a month plus two last year and I think I read 3 books total all year.  You'd think I would have easily made this happen.  Oye.  This is sad and I don't even want to admit this .... but........ I read ONE book the whole year.  And it was a book I started reading in the summer of 2017.  Yeah.  That's pretty effing bad.  I used to read a book a week and now it's just like ... I got so much on my plate and so much that I'm doing and I all ....... :::sigh:::  I want to read.  It's like trying to find the money to carve out for dates! LOL 

#4: Polish the book that was finished, and figure out what I want to do with it.  Still need to do this...  NEED to make this happen.  I did't ....  I don't even think I've really looked at that book since I finished it.  Horrible author I am.  I am no good at polishing .... I need someone to do it for me. 

#5: Be part of the #365Project of sharing at least one photo a day.  I'm doing it on Facebook and Instagram (and Twitter because Instagram posts to my Twitter.)  I think I'll add it to my Google+ too. (I'll have to catch up there though) .... I still want to do this.  I really do, just one year I want to do this.  BWAHAHAHHAAHAHAHHAHAAHAHHAHAHHAA .... nope, fail, big fat ugly fail..

#6: I REALLY want to write at least one blog a day. I know I have said this the past couple of years, and I fully intend to, but then life runs away and ... ugh.  I stop.  But blogging is literally my main form of therapy.  I have to purge my feelings.  My blog isn't a "working" blog.  It's not about making money, it's JUST about sharing my life and being able to look back on my blog for the memories.  If you happen to follow along, great!  I know this is probably unrealistic ... especially after coming off of such a bad year of blogging.  So..... I am going to call this a success if I can blog 15 days a month.  That would be a starting point.  I do .... I do want to write ONE NEW BLOG A DAY ... across any of my blogs.  Won't happen though....  nope.  I need to accept this fact....  

#7:Make new friends.  Um........ I guess I've done this?  

#8: Need to get some of my health issues more under control, maybe if I do that - I'll feel a lot better over all and I want to continue this!  I am about the same, maybe a smidge worse..... 

#9: Lose weight.  I was under 200lbs and now I'm over again, I hate it.  Thank you insulin!  I want to lose it again.  I still want to lose weight - so I'm hoping we can do a YMCA membership, this would be good for everyone. Definitely ALWAYS a goal.... 

#10: We need to do family game night and family movie night more often.  We've fallen out of practice.  I would like to see us doing both once a week, but I'd settle for one or the other each week.   Yes we do and we made it a few nights last year but not a regular thing.  This year, we're going to make it regular <3 

#1: Spending more time as a family.  If this be family movie night or family game night or getting out and doing some exploring as a family, even if it's free or only costs gas and lunch....  we're going to do things as a family.  PERIOD.

#2: I want DB and I to really make more time for him and I.  A monthly date.  Really need it.  It would be amazing if we could really make this happen.  I'm going to start keeping track of it and trying to set one day a month aside for just him and I...  Even if this is one night that we just have a SAH-Date .... (stay-at-home date) ...  it's hard to do with him being in college and all the boys and MEH but ..... I don't want us to suffer. 

#3: I want read at least 12 books this year.  That's one a month.  This is an amazing want.  And it's true, I DO want to read more.  But I'm going to decrease this and say .... I want to read TWO books this year, and if I read more, GREAT!  (Children's -elementary- books don't count)

#4: Really work hard on the current book! I'm currently starting chapter 10 and I would REALLY love to have this one done by the end of the year.  I am really proud of this one and honestly, this is the FIRST book I've ever actually been proud of. 

#5: Start to meditate and maybe start yoga.  Something I can do by myself, on my bed ..... or find a spot on the floor. 

#6: I REALLY want to write something every day.  It can be a blog, notes in my writers journal, the book, or a insightful FB post, I want to write SOMETHING each day .... 

#7:Make new friends.  This is always a good goal ....

#8: Need to get some of my health issues more under control .... and be more active.

#9: Lose weight.  I was under 200lbs and now I'm over again, I hate it.  Thank you insulin!  I want to lose it again.  I still want to lose weight - so I'm hoping we can do a YMCA membership, this would be good for everyone. Definitely ALWAYS a goal....

#10:  Wanderlust .......... kinda addressed this one in the first goal.  But this one is a little different.  I want to go on a family adventure once a month, which could be local and free .....  but I want to take one weekend, anytime through the year, and spend a weekend, not at home, with my husband and just my husband.  Just one get-away... just the two of us.  <3

Most of them are the same as 2018 ....  but there are some changes!  <3

We didn't do much, and this year I didn't do the annual drunk kids photos ....  this was the first year they all stayed up past midnight...   and we could hear the fireworks going off in Seattle at the Space Needle.... 

We literally just had a very low key night.  We had spaghetti for dinner ....  (or "Noodles & Sauce" as we call it.) ....

I pet battled the night away .....

Got my midnight kiss!!!

And that was pretty much it!  <3 

So from our family to yours.......... HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!

Goodbye November, Hello December .....

GOODBYE NOVEMBER ......... and all the drama......

............ HELLO DECEMBER ......... and the CHRISTMAS SPIRIT!

December First:  Blogging Prompt #1:  WHAT WAS THE BEST PART OF YOUR DAY? 

Miss Elly.  This little girl warms my heart so much.  Like I cannot even begin to express what joy she brings into our lives, and how thankful we are.  She's so affectionate and expressive .... she loves to laugh ... (and loves to cry, she is an emotional little Leo....) .... she wants to be your friend and she wants you to be HER friend (.... in example of the kittens, even if you don't WANT to be her friend, she'll kinda make you! LOL) ....   This girl WEARS ME OUT but I am blessed to be a twinkle of time in her existence ...

Today: She tortured the poor kitties going "It's okay, Mommy has you" .... which is something I say to her all the time (only Nonna, not Mommy) ....   She curled up with Kaedyn and I and watched some TV.  She was all excited to see "Elly the Elephant" at the end of Greatest Showman.  Then she said she wanted to dance like the girls at the end of the movie, and later stood at my bed and did ballet type moves, it was beyond adorable.  B E Y O N D adorable.   She laughed, she cried (a lot) and she expressed herself, which I love. 

So Nana and Papa both worked this afternoon, so I got a little bundle of sunshine.  She was so excited to come over to Nonna and Popi's house!!  During the car ride, she decided to take off one of her boots and socks... lol...  lil' stinker.

Of course El comes around and the cats move to high ground.

Nonna and Elly.   She had her bath, got her changed and she wouldn't let Nana do her hair because she wanted Nonna to do it.  LOL .... so I gave her little dancer buns....

The older cats hit high ground .... the little ones, not so much.... she caught Luna.... and Luna was her bestestest friend.  She'd coo at them going "It's okay, Mommy's got you."

She was on my bed and instead of grabbing a blanket, she went and found some paper towels to used as a blanket. LOL.  Eventually I just gave her my blanket and took the paper towels away...

The little stinker was all over today.  She came over in one outfit, because she was playing with her kitchen stuff and she dumped (spit out, shook, who knows) her chocolate milk into her kitchen stuff and she was "cooking" with it.  So some got on her, and on the floor, etc and so on.  So we changed her diaper and wet pants before we left, but then after we changed her pants and before we actually got out the door, she knelled on the floor in the wet... lol.... so we just left cuz I had clean clothes and she was getting a bath at my place.  (Note to self: Get stuff for Elly for my house.)  So we got to my place and she had her bath, she got clean clothes, but then I got this Doc McStuffins snow (glitter) globe and I thought it was glued shut, but nope...  it wasn't.  She went in Daddy's room, shut the door, and proceeded to unscrew the bottom of the snow globe.... and got.... it .... all ... over ....  OYE this girl.  LOL.  So luckily I had grabbed her backpack and there was a spare pair of clothes in the backpack and so I threw those on her.  AND THEN she went and shut herself in the bathroom with the kittens and she got in the bathtub (right after Daddy took a shower before leaving for work.) .... so she got wet........ AGAIN.... But no socks, so I messaged my mom and told her she was on her third outfit and all her socks were wet.... LOL... and she might need to bring backup when she came to pick her up.

So then Daddy had to go to work so he loved on his Elly before leaving.  She was super sweet, she was like "KISS ME" and so he kissed her cheek repeatedly.

We had Tacos/Nachos for dinner.  Soooooooooooo good.....

I like my pretty watch face....

December First:  Photo Prompt #1:  What's your view today? 

This morning, when I dropped DB off at work, I was driving down the road (it was foggy) and I came to a spot that was like.....  this looks really cool ....  so I pulled over and took this picture....

and then I took this one....

After that I drove down to the Anchor Park and I took some pictures ... because the fog line was really cool and the sun was peaking a bit, thought it would make some really amazing pictures...

And so I was in the van for a little bit (doing some Pokemon Go stuff)  then the sun peaked a bit more..... so I got back out of my van and took a few more pictures...

 

Most of our family and friends are covered in snow right now ...  LOL....  I'm sitting all like... it's in the 50's and nice here!  My window is open! LOL