Today has already been a LONG day - and it's only 1:30 in the afternoon! It all started when I got up before 5 am..... now, WHY WOULD I DO THAT?!? Seriously! I didn't go to bed until after midnight last night ... What was I thinking?? I was thinking I wanted to get Nathan's DD done before I became brain dead. Seriously. So I spent an hour writing up the day, the phone calls of "news" on Nathan's medical situations. All I can say is ::sigh:: and I still have Mommy guilt. Even though I KNOW it's not my fault, that I've been doing EVERYTHING right, other then maybe pursuing it sooner (and in all honesty there, I'm not sure they would have done anything until age 2 because that's the cut off for "catching up" ... which he hasn't.) Dennis is picking up his *NEW* medicine on his way home (actually in a few minutes) ... so we've gone from him being on NO meds, to being on TWO meds .. one for his migraines, one for his thyroid.
I'm *almost* done with his paper work for the Autism clinic and I'll talk more about that in the other blog.
Anyway ... Nathan is asleep and Kaedyn is playing very nicely on the floor. I took some videos of him - I realize that I'm taking SO MANY photos of Nathan that I'm not doing many of Kaedyn. So I had to do some videos of him (us) playing on the floor today. I'll post one or two later.
So Calahan has ONE MORE DAY of his bus suspension and me taking him to school (tomorrow) before he can start riding agian (on Friday morning)... YAY!! No more having to drag the babies out in the morning. I didn't mind it so much. Tonight they (Cal & Noah) get to go see their dad ... (rolling eyes)... I need to write him a letter - but I just don't have the time or energy to fight with him right now. Because that is always where stuff ends up. Or he ends up writing me how he misses me and wishest things were different. Yeah, well... they would have been had he not made a few choices of his, which lead me to the choice of throwing up my hands and saying enough is enough. Honestly, no one likes to know that they don't know the person they (once) loved, like they thought, or at all.
I am SO THANKFUL for Dennis, you just have no idea. There are little things that get on my nerves, but no one is perfect but he IS perfect for me. I like to think I'm perfect for him, even though I know I get on his nerves at times too. He stepped up and was a Dad to two kids who desperately needed one, but who he didn't have to be one to. He accepted a ready made family, with a lot of baggage, without a hitch in his step. He lets me stay home with them, even though we struggle a lot, at this point, it isn't worth for me going to work anyway because it would probably put us more in debt with daycare and all that. However, I'm trying to figure out some way to work at home. He amazes me. How much he understands me, truly understands me. And then we were blessed with two more boys. I know he misses his daughter, and I know our family keeps him so busy that he doesn't have time to hurt as much, but he never stops thinking about her, loving her, and wishing she were in his arms, and part of our family other then just a spot in our hearts. We all wish that though.
Anyway - this has really taken a turn... nothing much else to say right now. I'm going to go load videos into youtube and try to get some work (writing) done.
I would like to finish this chapter, before it HAUNTS me.. I hate that no one is reading it to give me feedback. LOL... but oh well.
Anyway - time to get crackin' ... (oh check it out - I finally broke down and made me a little siggy thing)
