Welcome June ICLW'ers :)

I just wanted to welcome the JUNE ICLW'ers  :)  The month of May and beginning of June was a hard one for us.  My older two boys lost their Grandmother to a rapidly growing brain tumor.  She died on June 5th.   We were all close to her, she was my ex-husband's Mom ... She was only 59.   Funny enough, I took this photo the day I found out she had the brain tumor and only a few days to a few weeks to live.

I do photos at local graveyards for people who are trying to see their relatives graves, but can't travel to them - via a website called Find A Grave.  So they send out a request and I go try to hunt it down.  Anyway - this particular day is the same day I took the photos of my youngest with the flag and blowing dandelion (below in my Wordless Wednesday post) ...  

It's funny how losing someone important in our life changes us.  They love us for who we are, but we become so consumed with grief that we change.  All they would want for us is to go on being who we are, because they loved us for who we are.

My ex-MIL hurt my kids - in a way.  They sent her flowers and she didn't want them.  She didn't want them calling.  They did call on Mother's Day but she only talked for a few minutes and referred to Noah as her "nephew" .... to put it a little in perspective, she totally supported us moving here, but it hurt her.  She missed the boys.  She took for granted having them live 15 minutes from her ...  and when we were gone she missed them terribly...  To the point where she didn't like calling - or talking to them on the phone - because it just made her miss them more.  She even told me, when she explained this, that it was totally selfish.   We were planning on going back to see her, and now we can't.  We couldn't make it to the funeral because we didn't have the money to get half way across the country ...   so it's hard.  How can you provide closure for a child when they can't experience the funeral.

Anyway - I'm sorry - this post is a little morbid.   It's still pretty fresh and painful, and it brings up the loss of others that we loved, which makes it extra painful.

I take ease in the fact that I know they are with us, that they watch over us.... they never stop loving us.  

So anyway - if you are here from ICLW - WELCOME......    My name is Annissa, and I have suffered from secondary infertility since 1996 ...   I had triumphs in my battle, three wonderful boys during the battle to join their older brother - with the help of Clomid (for Noah and Kaedyn) and Progesterone (for Nathan and Kaedyn)....   You can learn a lot about my journey in my tabs under my header.   You have a nice ICLW introduction with the ICLW Introduction *Start Here* tab ...  and My Journey for Children tab tells you more about ... well... my journey .... it includes little blurbs about my kids, their medical issues, and my timeline with all fifteen of my miscarriages... and some memories from my miscarriages.  It wasn't an easy journey - but I can honestly say - I don't think I would change anything.  It's made me who I am...  and I wouldn't trade my children for anything.

I started up a facebook for my boys ... with the name of my other blog (their blog where I talk about their medical stuff) ... . MY UNIQUE FLOWERS ......  and if you want you can like their facebook page.  I am trying to bring awareness of their rare disorders - Mosaic Trisomy 16 and Russell Silver Syndrome....  but also about the other issues they have.  Autism, Cleft Palate, Sensory issues, Allergies, Asthma, Hearing Loss, Learning Disabilities (specifically Dyslexia and Dysgraphia) ...   If you would like to LIKE their page,.... please click HERE. 

I hope you enjoy ICLW this month and all the comments you get :)