As we look forward to 2018, and look back on 2017, it has been a very interesting year. We started out the year "homeless" but staying at my Mom's & Step-Dad's while hoping our names came up on the housing list quickly. Luckily we weren't having to wait 2 years, because with Dennis being a veteran we were able to be on a special VA Housing program. We found our new home in July, we were supposed to move in middle of August, but didn't get to move in until September 8th - the day before Kaedyn turned 9 on 9-9 ... ha ha ...
We also started out the year with us claiming we had five boys, and ending the year back down to four. Things came to a head with Kale, and we felt we had to not only distance ourselves from him, but cut him out completely. I don't want to start with bad news, but in order to begin the updates, with Cal, I need to go through this first. The good news is, Shila, Clairah and Elly are still in our lives.
They had moved down to Olympia to be with his Dad, and by June his Dad was kicking him out. They managed to find a little one bedroom apartment in downtown Bremerton, and moved in the end of June. It was a nice little starter apartment.
Elly turned 2 on August 4th (and we'll get to more Elly news later.)... and I did her 2 year old photo shoot on August 5th. The following week, her whole would literally turned upside down. Shila and Kale ended up splitting up and things have been rocky.
This is actually a two year update.
There was no holiday letter last year ...
Dennis is working hard on his college degree. He's most likely going to be finish up around this time (December) next year in 2018. Then he has the choice to get his Bachelors Degree, and I think he is going to go for it, but while working in the field of his degree - which is Cyber Security and should be a great field to go into. Ultimately - he would like to work at Seattle Children's helping to protect and keep everything running smoothly because they have been such a huge part of our lives. He even made the DEANS LIST!! That was a huge deal to him!
Besides working so hard on school work.. he has spent a lot of the last two years taking care of me. My Fibro/CFS has been so hard lately, I have trouble (most days) moving a lot. Unfortunately he has Fibro too, we've discovered. So we are both trying to find ways to find relief from the constant debilitating pain and at times, especially for Dennis, being so tired. He pushes himself a lot.
Thankfully I am - hopefully - starting an up-swing. I was in a bad place last year, and a lot of this year, but lately I've had more energy, less pain... but I still hit walls fast, and I suffer from horrible insomnia.
There are moments where I think maybe I can start doing photography again, but I cannot commit to anything until my health is more under control. Also probably just going to be a hobby photographer anyway. I have moments of brilliants, but not like other amazing talents. I have, however, been working on some of my writing. Now with more time to myself, I might actually be able to work on this a lot more. Who knows if I'll ever get published. But wouldn't that be nice?
My ex got out of prison. That is a whole other novel, especially the drama that comes at me from it - not from one, or two ... or even three people... because those ripples stretch high and far. He's like his own tsunami .....
Calahan is about to turn 22. He is still going to classes at the college, and his goal is to do welding at the shipyard, or his back up plan is - he's considering - maybe going into law enforcement. He has grown into a young man we are really proud of. He's attending school, doing what he needs to do, he has a solid plan - he's still in the process of executing it.
May 2016 - Cal and Alana broke off their engagement. We all still love Alana and always will. We see her every now and then. It wasn't working out well - mainly because he really never saw her. He was lucky to see her once a month after she turned 18... and when she turned 18 she was planning on moving in with us, that didn't happen. He saw her more often when she was under the age of 18. It seemed like her parents got more possessive of her, especially after her twin sister basically moved out without telling anyone ... the last few times Alana had come over, she had to bring her cousin to "chaperone" ... they had been together for 5 years at that point of time, I'm pretty sure that the days of being "chaperoned" was long gone. Cal will always have a piece of his heart with his first love, as we all do. It just didn't work out... .
Shila and Calahan have always had a really good friendship.
So while we were allowing Shila to stay with us, it wasn't a hard leap to think they might end up being drawn to each other. Sure enough, it happened. The Shila I knew when she was with Kale was angry and had a very quick bitter temper and a sharp tongue. The Shila with Cal is a completely different person, she's full of laughter and happiness - she still has the sharp tongue at times but she is so much happier.
So when Calahan and Shila started dating, they became an insta-family ... Cal was suddenly faced with not only being a boyfriend who actually saw his girlfriend every day (or very nearly every day) he also was faced with not only sharing his time with his girlfriend, but also becoming a "Daddy" figure. That, I think, has been the toughest transition for him. He's never really had to "answered" to anyone or been so very depended on. It was a struggle for him at times, but he's really started to find rhythm to the madness and figure things out on how to balance everything.
Noah is going to be turning 16 on February 1st ... where has the time gone? It seems like just yesterday he was in the clear box, way too small to survive in the outside world, saved by an emergency c-section and a wish and a hope. He is pretty much as tall as he is going to be, and he's gotten to reach the stunning 5 foot even mark. Which is about where we expected, but I thought that he'd get to be at least as tall of me, but it seems those extra 3 inches just won't happen.
Noah's medical issues are basically stable. He's gotten a few *new* diagnoses recently. He has childhood Glaucoma and he is on eye drops daily for it. He's also got glasses now. In addition to that, he was also diagnosed with ADD, and severe Anxiety. Also, I have always had a feeling that Noah was on the Autism Spectrum since he was a baby, but it's always been a ... some days I would watch him and I would think... he DEFINITELY has it... and some days I would basically talk myself out of it. It's been a "straddling the line" type of thing. I talked to his Neurologist about it, I have brought it up to Nathan's Autism doctor also, and after some discussion and filling out some papers, he was diagnosed with the Aspergers which is a higher functioning Autism. Typically with kids with Aspergers, they are almost more of a .... genius level - very studious - that sort of thing, especially about one subject. However, with Noah's diagnosis of Mosaic Trisomy 16 - he has a lower cognitive level and he's really coming short and really struggling in memory. He does have one very distinct and front and center interest, and that's astronomy. He loves studying things with the universe and anything about the stars, planets, moon & sun, anything ... he absolutely loves it. Dennis and I are hoping to be able to take him down to the planetarium soon.
The only other thing is that his kidneys, which have been relatively stable since he almost died in 2007, are showing signs of weakening. Not to the point that we're doing anything more than monitoring them a little more closely, but it is happening.
One HUGE change for Noah is that he decided (on his own) that he wanted to stop homeschooling and try out high school. Let me tell you this is HUGE HUGE HUGE! We started homeschooling him around 4th grade because he was coming home calling himself stupid and I felt that the schools were not doing anything about this. He would have a folder in his desk that he would pull out on his own when he felt the class was going over things that he just didn't understand, and this folder would have worksheets that was more on his level. It was hard. It was hard watching his self esteem literally plummet.
So for this to happen was amazing and we were proud of him for even wanting to do it. So the next school day we went to the high school and we talked to them about enrolling him. I expressed my concerns, and I talked to them about the fact that we were still working on 3rd grade curriculum. It did take a few more phone calls for me to be comfortable with it, but we did everything to get him into school. He started the day before Halloween and he has been doing AMAZINGLY. He is a Sophomore in high school and kept with his age group.
He was put in what is called the "Life Skills" room, he's learning things he'll need to master to even find a little bit of independence. We've been told that we should plan on Noah living with us for the rest of his life, and we've talked to Cal about how he will - if/when something happens to us - have to bring Noah into his home. But maybe we'll be able to consider a more independent solution in time. He came home the other day from school and he was all ... "MOM! You can FREEZE bread and thaw it out and it's still good!" It made me giggle but he was so happy to know that. It was pretty amazing.
Noah is just amazing. He always and will forever be my Mr. Amazing. The boy who lived. We are proud of him.
Nathan is TEN! He's still super small for his age, and he always will be - but he said something this holiday season that really struck me. We were talking about Santa and how he and Kaedyn don't believe in Santa anymore. I don't know what made them not believe anymore, but they are at those ages. I was hoping to have a few more years of Christmas Magic but it's all good. Regardless, I had a discussion with Kaedyn and then before Kaedyn could talk to Nathan I hunted him down and I asked him.... "Do you believe in Santa still?" He tells me no. I said "What about Cookie?" which is our Elf on a Shelf. He says, "Elves are real!" I said ... "You don't believe in Santa but Elves are real?" He nods. I said "Why do you believe in Elves?" He says.... "Cuz I am one!" Made my heart soar and break all at once.
Nathan started 5th Grade this year. He has been going to the same school for a few years now, once we moved to Rocky Point (October of 2015) he had decided that he wanted to try to go to school again. He had been pulled out of public school to home school for two main reasons. 1: His health declined GREATLY while in school, he was out being sick more than he was actually attending. 2: He had severe anxiety. SEVERE. To the point where he would throw up in the morning while getting dressed and ready. It's hard to watch your child be so scared and unhappy. The only thing we could associate with it was the fact that his teacher (at the time) would call him out in class for stomping his light up shoes to get some sensory stimulation. Apparently this annoyed the teacher while she was teaching. He was supposed to be in the Inclusion room for most of the day, being given extra time to eat, given the chance to seek out that sensory stimulation he frequently sought out. We were told he was only spending two hours in the classroom, but he was only in the Inclusion room for small periods of time.
Now, let me explain something. Nathan either loves or hates his teachers. The Inclusion room teacher he had prior to that year, he absolutely loved. But she moved to a Kindergarten teacher that year, and Kaedyn actually had her. Nathan, however, was dealing with a new Inclusion room teacher. There was a meet & greet at a park prior to school, and I didn't get the warm fuzzies from this new teacher. I brushed it off as being more of a .... I adored the previous Inclusion room teacher. But it very quickly became a thing ... we noticed when he was in 2nd grade, the whole year it felt like she was trying to push Nathan out of the Inclusion room and into the mainstream classroom. Again, kinda pushed back the "this isn't right" feeling I got. Then 3rd grade rolled around, and I couldn't take the screaming and crying to the point of throwing up every morning. Several times I'd go to the school and Nathan wouldn't be in the Inclusion room AND it would be empty. It felt like she was pushing all the kids with medical issues out of the room ... and Nathan was suffering. When I brought up the shoe thing, she blew me off. Then she talked about how the mainstream teacher was hurt that Nathan would accuse her of something like being angry at him. It's like, really? So we decided it was just best if he was homeschooled.
But we moved, and he wanted to try out the new school. He loved pre-school at this school. I went in with DB and talked to the Inclusion room teacher there - she helped ease my mind. They followed Nathan's IEP and I felt very comfortable with her, and with him at the school.
Most reports stemmed from Nathan disappearing in the school. He's have to go potty and instead of telling someone - he'd just leave and go potty ... or if he just felt done, he'd go sit down at the office and wait for us to pick him up. The teachers had many "where is Nathan" moments. I threatened to get him a red and white striped shirt and hat. (HA!) ... The anxiety was still an issue, but not as bad. The first year he was in school there, he met Rylee... his best friend. Nathan is currently spending most of his class day up in his mainstream classroom - and it 100% has to do with Rylee and how amazing she is with him. Rylee's mom has been involved in the special needs community and Rylee has been intracranial in Nathan's comfort level and learning.
Nathan is really smart. His biggest hurdles is his not being able to speak so that other people can understand him, as we only understand him half the time (if even that). We still play the yes or no game...
"Weiorws"
"Huh?"
"Weiorws"
"Is it a game?"
"No"
"Is it a food?"
"No"
"Is it a person?"
"Yes"
The questions can be endless and we usually, at this point, can just shove a phone or computer at him and tell him to type in what he's trying to say ...
His other "biggest" issue is being so small ... We try so hard to get him to gain weight.
Regardless, he's a super smart kid. His Inclusion Room teacher (who moved to the Resource Room this year but still sees him!) ... she likes to tell his classmates he's probably smarter then them a lot because they treat him like a baby and want to do everything for him. He does have some limitations but we are so happen with the progress he's made.
Oh this clown... my Mini-Me.. Kaedyn turned 9 this past September 9th. It was his Golden Birthday .. 9 on 9-9 ... unfortunately we had JUST started to move into our new place the day before his extra special birthday, so literally all we had time to do was get him a cake and move more. DB and I both feel like he gets the short stick a lot on his birthday ... we're hoping to make the next one a little more special... but honestly, I think he was just happy to have his own room and a bed again!
Kaedyn amazes us with how smart he is. I mean, amazes us. He would easily qualify for the gifted program I think, and we may end up going that route. Next year the boys are going to be in different schools and Kaedyn is already fretting that ... We always tell Nathan's teachers that if they need an interrupter - to get Kaedyn... he is the "Nathan Whisperer" .... I say it every time I write these letters, because it's always true... Nathan and Kaedyn act like twins. They are the best of friends and only annoy each other a couple times a week (laughs) ... We had unique circumstances with the fact that Kaedyn quickly caught up to and grew faster than Nathan, and they've often been mistaken for twins. They are THAT close, and other than carrying them both at the same time.... it has always been like caring for twins. Same size, both in diapers, both with bottles... all of it. They are two peas in a pod. And the staff at their school are always commenting on how amazing they are together. So we're pretty proud.
Kaedyn is still our math wiz!! He still loves math and all things numbers. He has a very mature brain for his age, but not a mature attitude.. he is normally bouncing off the walls. He gets loud and crazy and he has so much energy it's crazy. He has inherited my tendency for having insomnia. It's rough, because he really has a very very hard time falling asleep. It's not a problem with staying asleep but falling asleep is 90% the battle.
I'm not sure if we talked about it in the last Christmas Letter (Update) ... but Kaedyn has a very severe allergy to nuts. Again, another something he gets from me. Allergies.. Actually, I guess the blame with that one is equally DB's and mine. One day he was eating popcorn we got from the boy scouts that had pecans in it, and he came into the bedroom to tell me his face felt funny ... and it took me a minute to process what I was looking at, and then the freaking out set in. After I screamed for DB, we grabbed him, got him in the van and rushed to the hospital which was less than 5 minutes away, and had we called 911 - it would have taken longer then just getting there ourselves.
There was a flurry of activity and he was terrified, but it was pretty bad. So now we carry an epi-pen.
He IS allergic to peanuts, but he currently doesn't react to them. SO as long as he's not reacting, he's allowed to enjoy it while he can.
We are excited to watch Kaedyn continue to flourish. So blessed to have him.
Clairah turned FOUR YEARS OLD this past June!! She's come a long long way from the 18 month old baby who literally couldn't stop crying the first few times she was around us, desperately clinging to Mommy.
Her coming into our lives made DB and I .... "Nonna" and "Popi" ... We were utterly excited to have a little girl in our lives. Doesn't matter she's not blood related, she's our granddaughter.
When Shila and Kale moved down to Olympia, weekly visitation stopped with Clairah because they were too far away. Shila got to see her once, and that's when she came up here for Christmas. And then for whatever reason, when they moved back to town, visitations were not picked back up for awhile. She got Clairah for her 4th birthday on June 28th, and then didn't see her again until October.
So this is about the time she came back into our lives after the long absence ... not only did she grow like a weed, but her vocabulary has blossomed immensely. She has turned from our little toddler to the little lady she is.
She loves Elly to death but boy oh boy do they butt heads. Clairah of course is afraid it's going to be a long time until she sees Mommy again so she want's Mommy's time to be strictly spent on her. There have been visitations in our home where I've taken over the care of Elly so she (Shila) could focus on Clairah, but it's hard to do that now because Elly has her own mind. So now they like to fight over Mommy. I had a talk with Clairah to get to the root of the problem, and of course it broke our hearts.
The last time we had her (Dec. 16th) we were on our way back home from Tacoma and had decided to drop Clairah off at home (her Dad's) on our way home because it was on the way. Well, I had said something and she overheard me say something about "after we drop Clairah off...." and she said "NO DON'T TAKE ME HOME!" It was hard. She said "I want to live with you guys for five months!" and she's clearly not happy at home. She was almost crying. They live out in the middle of no where, earlier this year Clairah's Dad's mom died in the house they all lived in (Clairah, her Daddy, his Mom and his grandparents who raised him) ... and Clairah was the one who found her grandma and kept shaking her telling her to wake up. It's her Daddy's first Christmas with his mom gone. So it's tough.
We took Clairah to go find an angel for her and Daddy and her grandparents, she picked one out, we all signed a card, I wrote in it that we know this Christmas is hard and how the angel is to remind all of them that she's still watching over them. Clairah took the gift bag in and Shila went in with her... she happily and excitedly gave it to Daddy and he opened it... but said nothing. Shila said that he didn't even seem to appreciate it. It probably hurt Clairah too on some level that he didn't even react.
He then told Shila that his Grandma, who is Clairah's MAIN caretaker, is in a nursing home, and she's probably not going to make it much longer. Shila said the place was a mess, it smelled like death, there was no tree up, nothing...
We're all worried about Clairah's well being at this point, but we're hoping it's just a matter of being sad about the holidays. Shila is getting Clairah for Christmas and we're hoping overnight here so that she can come open gifts and have some sort of a Christmas. We just love her to pieces.
She loves to laugh. She loves to cuddle. Right now she loves Bubble Guppies! It's definitely her favorite. She really hates time-outs. She loves to eat, and making a mess! Her hair is amazing and she HATES it in her face. She counts and she says her ABC's ... and she loves to sing! The songs she sings the most right now is Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and Rain Rain Go Away... going bye-bye is a bonus! Playing outside, being rough and tough is good fun, but she likes to be girly too. I hope she is a good combo of Tom-Boy and Girly-Girl like she is now.
Mom's biggest struggle so far this year is trying to get Elly to sleep in her own space. She's also started to potty train, too.
She's getting to be a big girl, and I think in a couple years - she'll probably being outgrowing Nate too ...
Elly age 2 and Clairah age 4 (on Dec. 16, 2017)
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We are so blessed to have this HUGE amazing family!!
