17 Years Ago ..........

17 years ago today, I was on the cusp of becoming one of the only things I ever wanted to be when I "grew up" .......

......... a mom. 

I was 19 years old, married, and over due.  I had an ultrasound ...  I remember, the lady doing it kept getting this concerned look on her face, and I asked her if something was wrong, she wouldn't tell me.  She just told us to wait in the waiting room and she was going to call the doctor.  A little while later she came out and told us to go home - the doctor would call us in about an hour. 

That was a long hour. 

Finally the phone call came and she told me that I had little to no water left inside my womb with the baby and they wanted me to go to the hospital and 6pm (where I had just been doing the ultrasound) ....  and be admitted to be induced. 

I had been complaining for over a month that I was leaking water - but no one believed me.

So I tried to sleep, I couldn't sleep ... I was so anxious... scared.... happy....  excited...  I made sure everything was packed, little girl outfit because I was sure it was a girl, a neutralish outift just incase ...

Then the time came to go .........

I was checked in .....

Admitted ......

Sent to a room ....

Told to change........

They got an IV hooked up ....

They stuck in a suppository of  something to help "ripen my cervix" ...   while they checked me. 

They were going to wait a little bit before starting the petocin ... but they didn't need it, my contractions started almost immediately ....  (around 6pm)

I was fine for a long time. 

But at about 10 or 11 o'clock I was hurting bad ....  I didn't want an epidural...  but they gave a shot to take the "edge off" that didn't do NOTHING .....

Eventually - around 2am .... I fell asleep in the rocking chair ... I was in that sleep state where you are sleeping, but you are aware of everything around you ..... 

I started coming around to where I could hear things.  I heard the nurse come in, I heard the sound of her grabbing the paper coming out of the machine and saying "Her contractions have completely stopped" ...   and "well get things started again in the morning, we'll let her rest" ......

I remember thinking, aww crap.  But also being thankful I could sleep for a bit. 

My (ex) MIL and my (ex) husband decided to leave the room and go down out of the hospital so my (ex) MIL could smoke... 

From what my Mom tells me, they couldn't have been down to the elevator when I shot upright with my eyes bugging out of my head cuz I went from nothing for 45 minutes to HARD LABOR ....

I went into shock and I was shaking and throwing up with every contraction.  Shaking so hard that there were several people trying to hold me down/make sure I was safe ....  it was crazy....

About 6 o'clock in the morning I finally hit 10 centimeters ..... and I was able to start pushing.   After 13 hours (almost 14 hours) of labor, I finally gave birth to my first child........

 The day he was born - 17 years ago tomorrow ....

 A few days old, when we went home.... 

 Back in the day when they suggested you put babies to sleep on their bellies .... 

My baby .............  (sniff)