OMGosh MY DREAMS ARE COMING TRUE.........

Or at least my TV dreams...... SOOOOOOOOOO EXCITED!!!!

One of those Daysssssss.....

I think I finished my book last night, sometime in the middle of the night - I finished it.  I have to go back and tweak it a lot... But I really - really think it might be finished.

Mister Nathan was wearing his favorite sweater today.

These two kill me! LOL ...

Elly was wearing her little knitted shawl today.  She was more interested in eating it...

So this is what happens when you have a family full of sick people.  LOL...  you need another bag, just for paperwork, and end up with a huge bag filled with pills.

Elly Selfies.... LOL ....

Someone is holding her bottle a lot better now, although she likes to get milk up her nose and in her eyes... ha ha ....

Today is the day that I instantly get transported back to so many years ago ... 14 years ago this year ... during one of the absolute scariest times of my life.

I think it was during Noah's pregnancy that I really learned out to start letting things go that were out of my control.  Here I was - faced with this pregnancy I had fought so hard for.  Just a short time after celebrating a sticky baby with a heartbeat ... we realized there could potentially be something wrong.   He started measuring smaller.  Although at that point, we were still believing the whole "oh I'm sure everything is fine" line we kept getting fed.

I got the AFP (triple screen) blood test, and it showed there was an elevated chance for both Downs Syndrome AND Spina Bifida. So I opt'ed to have an amnio, and the amnio showed that it was a boy, and he had (has) an extremely rare genetic disorder called Mosaic Trisomy 16.

Then the line became (other than by my beloved OB/GYN) "your child isn't going to make it" "your child will die"  "there is no hope" ...  "you should just end the pregnancy" etc and so on.

So as Noah's birth came closer, I became a lot more anxious.  However, at this point 14 years ago I wasn't nervous.  I was going in for Non-Stress Tests - and Noah was failing.  Then I had developed severe Pre-Eclampsia .... and at this point, I was told to go to the hospital, not even to go home to get stuff, just go to the hospital (which was just two minutes away from my doctors clinic) ... but before I left the clinic, they wanted to give me the first shot to help mature the baby's lungs.  I went from joking around, to being TERRIFIED.  I called my mom from the clinic (they allowed me to use the phone at the clinic - even though it was long distance) ... to tell her she better get a plane ticket and get to Wisconsin ASAP.

I remember I couldn't stop crying.  I wasn't sobbing, but the tears wouldn't stop. I was terrified.

So every year, at this time, I remember.  It was the day that the ball started rolling to Noah's immediate early birth.

On another note....  we watched a show called BLACK MIRROR tonight.  It's a British show, I guess.   It is DISGUSTING ...  the first episode is HORRIBLE.  It's like watching a train wreck.  I honestly had my eyes covered. I realize the premise is supposed to be cringe worthy - but.......no.  Just.  No.

Braces and Test Results ...

This morning....  the following happened ....

This morning: Nathan - "I want ow up" Dennis and I are perplexed. We thought he was saying "throw up" ... Kaedyn was thinking he wanted to drink "7-up" ... we asked him to show us, he couldn't ... so we asked him to spell it out .. he tried, we asked him to write it down.... he tries, it's ... jibberish - so asked him again - this time Dad got it.... "DAY OFF" ... Nathan wanted a DAY OFF from school. We cheered and applauded and then got to tell him no, he had to go to school. Oooooooh to crush a young boy's hopes and dreams.  My day is complete! 

Little Miss is all about her feet right now!

Noah got new bands on today, he got some other stuff done too - I guess his teeth that were growing sideways they finally managed to coax out and so they had to do extra work to bring them down properly ...  poor kid was super sore.  Also .... he is officially two years into this process.  His brace-iversary is tomorrow.  It's been two years since he got his braces.  It's been a long time.  I know he hates every second of it, but he really needed it or he'd have had bigger issues later.... :(   So I hate causing my kids pain, but I know it was needed.

It's needed for Nathan too and that makes me sad because he's still so little and with him it's really going to be a balance of - will getting braces cause more harm?  It's already hard to get him to eat, and if we get him braces .... he's going to be less likely to eat.  Sure he has a feeding tube but we want to encourage him to eat.  So ... yeah...

Anyway, DB and I had a meeting at Nathan's school today.  It went well - nothing overly surprising.

These two signs were by the front desk....  I had to take pictures of them....

Facebook Update:
We had a meeting at Nathan's school today - for the results of the testing they did at school. GREAT news - he improved a lot in some areas, like social and various other areas. He's doing REALLY good not being physical when his emotions are out of control (i.e. not pushing or hitting other kids if they upset him) at this point we (DB and I) cracked up laughing a little bit, because he just (two days ago) kicked Cal between the legs because of something Cal did... clearly he's not implementing this at home. So... he still qualifies heavily in a lot of areas, and one area they don't even do because Nathan is classified as Autistic. However, everyone agrees about how smart this little guys is. And we all know how he sits there and when he doesn't understand something or something seems too hard, he's just like "nope" not doing it. LOL. But he is crazy smart, his biggest issue is not being able to talk (well). We noticed walking out that Nathan has a bathroom card with his name on it. DB says "Nathan has his own bathroom pass?" LOL... well turns out that Nathan apparently doesn't seem to think that he needs to tell anyone when he goes to the bathroom - he just leaves the classroom. Well one day he disappeared and his inclusion room teacher says "where's Nate?" and no one knows? She found him washing his hands in the bathroom. HA HA HA. So she had a sit down talk with Nathan about how it's a safety issue, and how if he has to go potty, he just hands the card to an adult. So that's why he has his own bathroom pass. The other thing is, they agree that the other school did NOT handle him properly. They feel that it was probably a case of the other kids were too much to handle and pushed Nathan into the regular gen ed room. But they said based on his test scores, he'll get there to that point - but right now - he is absolutely not ready for that. So yeah - it's good to know my Mommy instinct was right on the money with that. Sucks that the other school dropped the ball so badly for our son though, and every time we brought up our concerns, because of the severe severe anxiety he was having, they just brushed it off. Kinda pisses me off actually - but it's neither here nor there anymore. He's in a great spot now.

This is Gallifrey .... he's trying to hide.   He's doing a good job.

So I have to share something.  I'm a little amused.  So Kaedyn is my little genius.  Now, I say that because he is extremely extremely intelligent.  The other kids are so smart in their own ways, in their own areas.  Nathan is really smart too, but he has such a hard time communicating.  And - I mean - lets admit it - that boy gets away with murder.  HA HA HA ...   he's like... nope, not gonna do it.  Anyway ... Noah is really smart when it comes to certain things - like subjects he's interested in, but he has a really really hard time learning.  He has a lot of learning disabilities to overcome and medical issues too.  Cal on the other hand, he doesn't know how to apply himself, but he has a good brain.

Anyway - with all that said... Kaedyn who can use To, Too, and Two properly....   I was all ...  THAT'S MY BOY ....

DB was like that during the ultrasound when you could see his boy bits ... he's all THAT'S MY BOY!!  *snort*

Figures that it's Mom who's proud of his grammar skills, and Dad who's proud of his..... well... plumbing.  LOL...

So this surprised me a little bit.

"Thay should always measure starting at the edge"  - he spelled THEY wrong but - I'll give him a pass, he's 7 ....

And then he couldn't spell triangle, square, and diamond.  There is suspicion that the teacher wrote the first part on the board or something.  Also, he has better handwriting than three of his brothers....  and probably his Dad.. (LOL sorry DB ...  meh, sorry not sorry) ....

Even my own kids........

Mostly Little Miss.........

So, yesterday Little Miss was really all about trying to capture the feet.... It's been sooo long since I've been around a baby every day and even though she's my grandbaby ...  I just absolutely lubs it.  She is my sunshine.  When I am down I want Elly-cuddles.  LOL.  She is seriously the HAPPIEST baby ever.  And even more  - she sees you (unless she is super tired or hungry) and she breaks into instant grins.  It's amazeballs.  I always wanted girls, and I was blessed with a couple of amazing little granddaughters.

And she sucks on her tongue instead of her thumb or paci.. LOL... It's pretty funny actually.  I'll have to do a video of it sometime.

This morning before school....... Nathan and this blue bin have a special relationship ....  they break toes together... mainly mine...

Miss Elly put on rain boots today ....   well, Mommy put them on her... ha ha ha ...  it's not like she reached down and put them on herself....

Spent some time today getting the Rose bushes (well I know the one infront of the trellis is a Rose bush, the other one I'm not so sure about) ... but we worked on getting all of them upright.  those two are too close to the house, and have a hard time being upright.  I would love to get some Lilac and plant them out there.  But we are going to work on a garden ...  I'm so so so excited.  This was step one anyway.  It's starting to warm up around here a bit.

Couple of bags that I did tonight... LOL....

X-Files is BACK!!

X-Files is BACK!!!   It came back on last night, and I couldn't be more excited!  Seriously - MORE MORE MORE excited!  X-Files has always been my #1 favorite show...  which, was later shared with Gilmore Girls, which ended up being a three-some with Castle for #1 favorite shows.  I mean I have a hundred favorite shows but....those are my three absolute favorites.  But X-Files has a special spot, because it was my FIRST favorite, non-kid-teen type show.... (Saved By the Bell doesn't count, and either does Dawson's Creek...  but I did love Murder She Wrote, Diagnosis Murder and Quincy M.D. growing up...)

So I joined a X-Files Revival group on Facebook and OMG - I'm soooooooooo jealous!  I have never had the money to buy things - especially like ....  Fangirl awesomeness....  people are showing off their full collections of X-Files stuff, and shirts, and they are all getting tattoos and there is some hard core stuff going on.   It's cray!

And here I am....... with my collection of TV Guides with Mulder and/or Scully (slash) X-Files cast on the covers....... that....... I ....  lost in a move, but oh the memories.

:: sigh :::

I will not get a tattoo ... but I did draw an X on my hand... ha ha ....   and I put an X on my window...  HELL TO THE YEAH......... I party hard.

Meanwhile, people are having alien cupcakes, cookies, and yeah....  I haven't been feeling good for the last several days, I mean, I slept pretty much two days straight I was so sick.  PLEASE!  Don't judge my Fangirldom. It's there, it's real, it's strong ....  trust me.  I squealed like a little girl when I heard the theme music.... I considered getting up and taking a selfie infront of the TV when it started.. but ... I'm still not feeling 100% ...  and that seemed like too much effort at the time....

Do not continue if you haven't watched the first two episodes yet........  otherwise, proceed at your own risk.

So I didn't want to make this all up in a two-post thing, figured I'd just discuss in one, since there was an episode last night and one tonight.  And all I have to say is I could CRY ........... C.R.Y. that there are only six episodes.  CRY!

It was like being HOME again....   Calahan grew up watching this ... he could identify the theme music and it was crazy.  Yet he has no interest in watching it with me.  It's a good thing my husband shares it with me, even though he isn't exactly a fanboy...

So last night's episode ...  it was weird.  I have to admit.  Mulder wasn't......  Mulder.  It was like Scully and Mulder switched roles, well... they kinda did.   But.... so ... now ...  aliens are only a government conspiracy and not hiding aliens?  Or - am I gathering right with the - Roswell was real, but the rest is a hoax?  It's been all about alien DNA and hybrids?   And Scully has alien DNA???? What The Fuck Over?

And tonight's episode - I mean - lez-be-honest.....  it BROKE MY DAMN HEART.

I admit, I boycotted the show when Mulder left the show, or rather, lessened his appearances. I decided to hate Doggett and Reyes on principal.  So I didn't watch the last couple of seasons religiously like I would have normally.  The show was Scully AND Mulder.  THEY are the show.  But when I found out that Scully was pregnant, I started watching again.  I watched when Scully had William, and I watched the episode where Scully gave William up - when they originally aired and watching her give William up KILLED me.

So tonight's episode, with all the "what could have been" flashes ...  it was like a knife in my heart for my beloved characters.

I soooooooo badly want - desperately - them to at least *find* William ...  just to check on him, or something.  Some sort of closure because I feel like it's a great big open festering wound...

So Nathan's feed bags in honor of the last two nights......

Oh and my phone background!  LOL .... see... fangirl......

 So ..... later, this popped up on my Facebook feed and ......... I thought, it's a Mulder family picture.

Drawing Contest ..... Kaedyn vs. Mom

Kaedyn insisted on having a drawing contest with me tonight.......  I think he regretted it.  I mean I'm not the best artist, infact, I think I suck.  But..........

The first "contest" was FIREWORKS.......  Kaedyn went first.......  (see the win over in the corner with the M and the lost by the K?)

Then he wanted RAINBOW........ he went first......... he did awesome I think :)  After, he added clouds and rain and sun to his.  He got mad because he drew rain all around his rainbow and didn't have room for the sun, so he drew it in the arch of the rainbow.  It was cute.  But he still declared me the winner over him.  He does so good and he's so creative.

(and yes, I screwed up my color sequence - I blame being delirious from being sick still)

Um..... Yep....

Live, Laugh, Love .....

Sick

Spent most of the day sick still.  Nothing really to report.  Unless you want a run down on some funny Family Feud episodes?

Finally thinking I'm starting to feel better.

*think* hope *maybe* ...

dayum I hope so... I can't take another day of this.