One of those Daysssssss.....

I think I finished my book last night, sometime in the middle of the night - I finished it.  I have to go back and tweak it a lot... But I really - really think it might be finished.

Mister Nathan was wearing his favorite sweater today.

These two kill me! LOL ...

Elly was wearing her little knitted shawl today.  She was more interested in eating it...

So this is what happens when you have a family full of sick people.  LOL...  you need another bag, just for paperwork, and end up with a huge bag filled with pills.

Elly Selfies.... LOL ....

Someone is holding her bottle a lot better now, although she likes to get milk up her nose and in her eyes... ha ha ....

Today is the day that I instantly get transported back to so many years ago ... 14 years ago this year ... during one of the absolute scariest times of my life.

I think it was during Noah's pregnancy that I really learned out to start letting things go that were out of my control.  Here I was - faced with this pregnancy I had fought so hard for.  Just a short time after celebrating a sticky baby with a heartbeat ... we realized there could potentially be something wrong.   He started measuring smaller.  Although at that point, we were still believing the whole "oh I'm sure everything is fine" line we kept getting fed.

I got the AFP (triple screen) blood test, and it showed there was an elevated chance for both Downs Syndrome AND Spina Bifida. So I opt'ed to have an amnio, and the amnio showed that it was a boy, and he had (has) an extremely rare genetic disorder called Mosaic Trisomy 16.

Then the line became (other than by my beloved OB/GYN) "your child isn't going to make it" "your child will die"  "there is no hope" ...  "you should just end the pregnancy" etc and so on.

So as Noah's birth came closer, I became a lot more anxious.  However, at this point 14 years ago I wasn't nervous.  I was going in for Non-Stress Tests - and Noah was failing.  Then I had developed severe Pre-Eclampsia .... and at this point, I was told to go to the hospital, not even to go home to get stuff, just go to the hospital (which was just two minutes away from my doctors clinic) ... but before I left the clinic, they wanted to give me the first shot to help mature the baby's lungs.  I went from joking around, to being TERRIFIED.  I called my mom from the clinic (they allowed me to use the phone at the clinic - even though it was long distance) ... to tell her she better get a plane ticket and get to Wisconsin ASAP.

I remember I couldn't stop crying.  I wasn't sobbing, but the tears wouldn't stop. I was terrified.

So every year, at this time, I remember.  It was the day that the ball started rolling to Noah's immediate early birth.

On another note....  we watched a show called BLACK MIRROR tonight.  It's a British show, I guess.   It is DISGUSTING ...  the first episode is HORRIBLE.  It's like watching a train wreck.  I honestly had my eyes covered. I realize the premise is supposed to be cringe worthy - but.......no.  Just.  No.