Sadness .... shock... feeling as if you were just blindsided ....
All things we've been experiencing this week. Last week we got Mother's Day Cards for all our Mom's and a Birthday Card for my ex MIL (my ex husband's mom and the Grandmother of my older two boys.)
We filled them out ... signed them.... addressed and stamped...... and...... we live in an apartment - unless you catch the mailman, you have to find a mailbox. So Saturday when my Mom left, I asked her to drop them at the post office - it was (sorta) on her way home...
Sunday I went out .... and I had spent 3 hours at a graveyard taking photos of some of the last little bits we can give our loved ones - the last thing - we ... the living ... can give them. Their gravestones, memorial stones.... the last bits of them left after we're gone ... the ones that remember who they are, the memories we had with them - gone with us.... for those who follow us to have a little piece of them.
I hear some of you saying "how morbid" but in all honesty - some of these gravestones are beautiful pieces of art and affection for someone that was loved dearly ....
 |
| Baby Avery was obviously loved for 5 beautiful days, only one of many I saw |
 |
| Beautiful crosses with intricate scrolling |
|
|
 | | |
| Elsie Metta Lemke ... she was only 25-26 years old, her gravestone is beautiful, unique and really caught my eye. |
There is the graveyard angel........ that upon my first visit I snapped a quick picture of, and upon returning found it had been knocked to the ground by compassionless people....
And the sad little angel of a little girl who was lost too soon ....
 |
| Mildred was only 11 months old when her parents lost her and created this memorial for her. |
Then there were moments that caught me ... like this...
 |
| Three sisters buried together |
 |
| Those who fought and served and died for our Freedom. |
I don't just do this for myself, I do this for a website called Find A Grave - where if you know the area your loved one was buried - you can search the database to see if there is a photo of that last memorial... or request one. As someone requested one - and I was out searching for them that day.
It's funny .. I have been digging so deep into my Genealogy .... my husband's ... my ex's for that part of my older two boys history ........
Found out that they are indeed related to the likes of Henry III King of England, and his successors.... King Edward I, King Edward II, King Edward III..... My (ex) MIL hadn't dug this deep into her ancestry yet and I was soooooo excited to share this with her. She LOVES history ...
Well, I tried calling her several times.. the kids tried calling her because they wanted to talk to her and to check on their Dad .....
Something was off. I started stalking her facebook a little and noticed that her friends were starting to say "I/We Love You" and I recognized one name as her niece. So I messaged her, the niece, on Friday... and explained we'd been trying to get ahold of her and gotten no response. We were worried and seeing all these messages on her facebook really had me worried and so I just wanted to see if everything was alright.
Sunday, after I got home from the graveyard and my ...... interesting adventure there .... 3 hours of searching, half of which with a grounds keeper trying to pin point the spot..... only to find there was no headstone for this person ... Kaedyn lost my cell phone, I pinched a nerve/pulled a muscle/hurt my hip.... but the dog and Kaedyn got amazing runs! (And luckily my cell phone was found and returned to me - as my Aunt said, thank goodness for honest people!)
I sat down and opened my email........
Saw a message from her niece .......
Things are not good. I'm sorry to have to tell you this ... but.........
My heart sank, my heart broke ... and I fought back the tears ....... instantly ..... thinking ...
WHAT AM I GOING TO TELL MY KIDS????
Last year she had a "mini-stroke" .... and then I guess on Thursday - she fell.... her boyfriend found her and she wasn't responding like she should. He got her to the ER and they started running tests. They believe (from my understanding) she had a stroke. Upon more tests, they discovered a large tumor in her brain and sent her to Rochester, MN - Mayo Clinic - who did tests and found out the type of tumor it is, is completely inoperable because it's grows extremely quickly and had already taken over half her brain. They said they believed (best guess I suppose) the tumor started in December. They were shocked she was able to work as long as she did with it.
There had been bleeding in her brain ... I assume from the stroke, but I didn't press ... the bleeding had stopped. They said - best guess, if it didn't start back up, she'd have 6 weeks - tops. If it started again, it would be a matter of days.
With this type of tumor, she is in no pain ... she's not suffering. She'll sleep more and more and one time, she just won't wake back up.
She was aware and able to communicate a little - although she is completely paralyzed on her left side.
Last update I heard - she was no longer able to recall names, but she does still act as if she remembers who people are...
First thing I did was call my (ex) Father-In-Law and let him know. They didn't have my number, I was certain they didn't have his. If she dies .... the only link my ex has to the "outside world" is his Dad. And someone needed to let my ex know. I talked to him - broke the news - and then ended up hanging up with him, calling my (ex) Mother-In-Law's brother to get the details (stated above) and called my (ex) Father-in-Law back to fill him in and give him numbers.
He called me yesterday to thank me - again - for thinking to call him right away. He talked to her brother - he told my ex-husband who wasn't taking it well - which is what was expected ...
How would you react to if you found out your Mother was dying and you couldn't get to her......
I would be devastated - but frantic if I couldn't be there with my Mom.
Today ....... is her 59th Birthday ...... Today ....
Every birthday you ask her
"how old are you now?"
And every birthday she would smile, with laughter in her eyes and say
"I'm 29 of course!"
When I turned 30, I looked at my boys and said
"Wow, Grandma is younger than I am!"
I was hoping she'd make it to today .... I think she deserves to turn 59 ... I mean 29, again!
I have been meaning to write this blog since Sunday. Don't know if I didn't because writing it all down makes it more real .... or I just wanted to wait until today.
The boys sent her flowers ... er... my mom sent flowers in the boys name...
We were told she got them .... but she acted like she didn't want them :( It hurts a little....
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY KIDS GRANDMA - to my Mother-In-Law (because marriage might make you family, and divorce doesn't change that) ....
It's your last birthday - and we wish it wasn't. Wanting it to not be true, wishing and praying for miracles - it doesn't always change it.... but we're taking a little peace of mind in knowing you aren't suffering. I take a little peace of mind knowing she'll be up there playing with all her angel grandbabies too ... making them laugh, and smile ... telling them stories and tales from life and the past ....
I ask for prayers ........ prayers that she passes peacefully and quickly when her time comes. Prayers that she continue to not be in pain and she just fall asleep like the doctors say .... I pray for her to be loved and surrounded by her family in our absence (which I know she is.)
She is loved ...
she will be missed ....
