Wordless Wednesday ...it's time for my close up!

Our Love Story

Dennis yesterday morning, before 5 am ... woke me up with a kiss. This morning, he's in bed because of his encephalitic allergic reaction yesterday - he's still not feeling up to par. Apparently he got a super bad headache cuz of the epi shot.

So I entered a contest earlier this month... Usually I don't enter the blog contest scene (other then Angie's and a few others here and there) but this one caught me because it was about love.

This was the question - basically...

Taking a Chance on Love, have you ever taken a chance?

I'm like HELLYES .... (yeah that's one word ya know!) ...

So I left a little note about how Dennis and I met, but I thought I would share the long version.

I got married when I was 18 years old, I was already 12 weeks pregnant ... the day before the wedding, we heard the baby's heartbeat ... the night of the wedding, the morning sickness hit with a vengeance. (We won't mention I had already miscarried Cal's twin). Pregnancy was tough, everything was new and scary - every growing pain caused concern and "couldn't be normal" ... but when his Christmas Due Date came and went ... I was mad - I wanted that baby for Christmas. Instead I went into the hospital on Jan 4 to be induced. They got as far as putting the meds in to ripen my cervix and my contractions started. 13 hours later, I welcomed my first son into the world. My husband (my ex now) got sick when Calahan was 6 months old, in and out of the hospital... but we had good times for the first 5 years of our marriage. I had a few more miscarriages as we tried for baby #2. He was diagnosed with Crohn's. In Dec. 99 (been married 4 1/2 years) he had to have life saving surgery to removed all of the disease .. in April 2000 he cheated on me with the manager at his work ... and my world fell apart. We "worked" on it - but nothing was really the same. I had no trust for him anymore. It's really hard to get that back. He was a good dad, but not the best. He was often yelling at Calahan instead of talking to him, and instead of being sensitive to Cal being a sensitive child - he would yell at him for crying. Seemed nothing Cal did was right. I tried a lot to help him work on those skills he was lacking, but it always seemed 2 steps forward, 3 steps back. Eventually we made a little progress ... but it wasn't easy. Then he did the stupidest thing of his life, and got arrested for it. I had no clue, but I had just gotten pregnant with Noah. When I found out I was shocked, and broke into tears. Of joy, of fear, I was finally pregnant with #2 - after 5 years of infertility - but no wasn't exactly the best timing. My (ex) husband was in jail and here I was, faced with finding out I was pregnant. My gut told me to leave, but so many voices around me told me they couldn't believe he could do something like THAT ... and he swore to me he didn't do it. I had a choice, either face being alone and pregnant, or believe him. I guess at that time, I pushed all my gut feelings, all my instincts down - and chose to believe him. (I wish I had left now, but what can you do - and if I had, who knows if I would have met Dennis!) ... so I was pregnant, he was on trial - home - but on trial - for about the worst thing you can do other then murdering someone. He ended up pleading guilty saying that he was doing it for me, for the baby, for Cal because he could never win - no one would believe him. I was a single parent for a year, with a sick baby and a 6 year old son, while he was jail (his plead to sentence) ... and then he came home, and nothing was really ever the same. We weren't the same. But again ... we *tried* ... My life was so messed up, and I didn't know how to get out, or how to change it at least. Seemed like it was a never ending pit. Then he and my "best friend" started up their inappropriate relationship. If they had sex or not, I don't know, I don't care, but I suspect yes. We started to fight, he started to abuse me, holding me hostage basically, disconnecting the phone from the house so I couldn't call anyone... even went as far as raping me after I started a new relationship, and in 6 months time, he gave HER over $7000. 3 months before our divorce was final, he tried to break into my house at 1am and I called 9-1-1 ... and he was arrested. Based on a tape phone conversation (long story) where he admitted to the rape (which wasn't even provided to the cops by me) ... he was put into prison for 3 1/2 years because it was a violation of his probation. - the whole thing is a long story, and this isn't about my ex... once he was in prison, my (ex) boyfriend and I broke up and I gave up ... I figured it would just be the three of us together ... and that was it... and I was okay with that. Deep down I wanted to get married again, have more kids, but I figured that would never happen - here I was - a used woman who had been married for 10 years, and I had 2 kids - both with their own issues, but one with a really rare genetic disorder... who would want to take that on???

I was on free dating sites, mostly for fun and a little attention ... but I didn't expect to meet anyone on there that would truly be something that would last.....

That is a self portrait I did. It was on my profile on these sites, one of my favorite photos of me. Needless to say, he says when he saw that photo - he fell in love with me. Ha! So he "winked" at me. And I would check out anyone who sent me winks or whatnot on there... and I looked over his profile. I saw he lived in NC (me in WI) ... and I figured we had a few comment interests... so I emailed him and said "hey thanks for the wink!" or something like that. "I see you are interested in photography (and whatever else it was) .. too bad you are in NC" ... but I figured we could be friends. We emailed back and forth a few times, and then exchanged yahoo messenger IDs and started talking on there, and webcamming... and I didn't give pretty much anyone my phone number, but when he asked for it - I reluctantly gave it to him - and he called me - I was so freakin nervous. I already knew something else was starting between us and so did he. We talked every waking moment we could - while he wasn't at work, and I wasn't at school. We'd talk via phone, text message, IM, webcam... he saw my kids on webcam and they him, but after my previous relationship, after I split from my ex, I learned I didn't want them getting attached to anyone just to end up getting hurt in the long run, so I said I wouldn't bring them into a relationship until I was sure things were going somewhere (but that would be tough since I had no babysitter.) ...

My mom had come in for my cousin's wedding and when she left, she took my boys with her to allow me to A: find myself ... B: be myself without being Mom ... C: have a little fun ... D: figure things out. Her ultimate goal was to get me out to WA and convince me to move out there. She was going to get the boys to love it and so when I came out there to get them at the end of the summer, we wouldn't want to go.

So I didn't tell her about Dennis for a little while... but once I made the choice to go to NC while the kids were in WA, I told her - gave her his address, phone number, full name - all that stuff - just incase. I might have been crazy but wasn't completely irresponsible. Then I went down there. I was nervous - figuring once he saw me in person he would take one look at me and not want me ... snap his finger and yell "NEXT" ... but when he saw me, he smiled and he grabbed me, tipped me back and crushed his lips to mine. It was totally one of those sweep you off your feet type of movie kisses. I think at that point, I feel the rest of the distance I needed to - to be completely in love. Damn him!

We spent about 2 weeks in NC before deciding to move him to WI ... we knew we wanted to get married (he actually asked me before we even met, but I wouldn't give him an answer) ... and so he moved to WI and a few weeks after getting to WI - I had to leave for 2 weeks to go get the kids. So while I was out in WA I told the kids that there was a new man in Mommy's life and he wanted to be in their lives too, that we wanted to get married, and all that stuff ... it was hard, but webcamming with him from my mom's - the kids started to like him. He came and picked us up from the airport and Noah seemed to attach himself to him right away. Cal was a little tougher case to crack, but before long, you could tell he eased up some too.

After we got back, I apparently got pregnant RIGHT AWAY ... dang... and found out the end of August. Hello shock - how are you? And we were excited. We had been planning an October 2007 wedding ... but we talked about doing the legal end sooner just so we were married before the baby was born. First we were going to, then we weren't... and then in November, 2 minutes after he left the house, he called me up and said "hey, I was wondering something," and I'm like "okay?" ... he says "you want to get married next month?" ... I was like "and you couldn't ask me this 2 minutes ago standing infront of me???"

I had always told him, I wanted the big wedding - beautiful - my dream wedding. I wanted the proposal, the romantic proposal! I haven't gotten either! I want both!! I didn't care if we did the legal stuff first, but I wanted both.

Well I'm still waiting... LOL...

<- look it is our wedding day, I'm 18 weeks pregnant with Nathan. LOL... I miss my hair, I was STUPID for cutting it off... and OMG go look at it in my pregnancy pictures with Kaedyn - seriously - stupid for cutting it! So we started to plan a mini wedding. He didn't have a tux, but he had a suit. I got a really pretty simple maturnity dress. We didn't tell many people, but a few friends showed up at the court house to see the "event" and we fully planned on having the big wedding later one in the next year or two (like I said, still waiting) ... Anyway .... we found out shortly after getting married about Nathan's issues (the cyst in his brain) and Dennis truly got to experience and understand all those thing I had told him with Noah. He got his first round in the NICU and I got my second (and our last) ... After Nathan was born, we talked about having another. but thought we would put it off. There were plus and minuses to both side. Well, when Nathan was 9 months old, I found out ... it didn't matter anymore cuz I was pregnant. Kaedyn is completely health though - I actually had him at home (as in local hospital) and his birth was a great end to everything that previously happened. Dennis is truly (along with the kids) the best thing that ever happened to me. The man infuriates me sometimes but I love him so much. I can't imagine life without him. We aren't perfect, but we are perfect for each other. We are so much a like that I actually joke that he's the male version of me. We think the same, have the same beliefs, core values... we mesh so well together. I am truly blessed. And together - we blended our family. My two boys from my first marriage, his daughter, and our two boys together. All the kids are "Ours" no matter if they are ours by blood or not. Calahan and Noah are just as much his as they are mine. He loves them so much. I love his daughter too but we haven't met - she's part of our family regardless. The boys know about her, there are pictures of her all over. We are a family, Dennis and I, and the five kids.
And with all that being told....

I got news yesterday morning that OMGosh!! I WON!!! Check it out!!!

Monday Morning BITES... oh wait , it's Tuesday...but I got an award!

Anyway ... this isn't the entry I was *planning* on writing. I was going to show off my new award that Angie so kindly awarded me with.... (THANK YOU ANGIE!!) ... and then choosing my victims blogging buds that I want to award it to (Angie would so be one of them, but since she just got one...) ... She runs My Four Monkey Reviews & Giveaways blog too. Anyway - thanks again Angie...

Anyway ... anyway... anyway... I got a really disturbing text this morning - Dennis was making lobster at school today - they were just prepping and the toxins particles floating in the air happy as clams... and he started to have an allergic reaction. He hadn't eaten any and he knew he was allergic to shrimp because of the iodine in it (yes he's allergic to iodine) and didn't know what other shell fish he was allergic to... he can sample but not eat - if that makes sense.

There are levels to allergic reactions... or food sensitivities ... I am allergic to 90% of fruits and some veg (depending) ... I am allergic to pretty much every fruit and it's scary. My biggest one being Apples. I swell up, my throat swells, it's fun - pretty - and I start making these hacking spewing noises cuz my mouth and throat itch and the only way I can get any relief is if I make these monster horrible noises. That is only sampling it.. like taking one bite. It may not happen right away, it can take up to a half hour for the allergic reaction to hit. Now, imagine if I ate some awesome salad that I loved, and ended up eating a whole bunch of it that I didn't know about it being in there... yeah ... Hello Dr. McDreamy!

We didn't know he was allregic to lobster - had NO clue.. knew there was a possibility - but had NO clue!

So he texts me and he says ....he's having an allergic reaction, he had to leave the classroom.

He kept telling me he was okay in text messages and not to worry - and then he called me, and OMG - my heart dropped when I heard his voice. I knew he needed to go in, and I was hoping all he would need was benedryl but worried he'd need epi! Well, he got off the phone with me and I started crying.

I know how allergic reactions are and it was bad...

So he calls me a little while later and says he's on his way to the hospital - he got directions from the school, one of his friends had offered to drive him, but he said no (stupid stubborn son of a ...) ... and you can just tell he's worse. I could anyway. He's like "I can still see fine, I can get air in.." .. I'm like fuck that, I'm worried .. I said "yeah but I'm worried about you in the time it's going to take you to get there" ... well he got there, amazingly ... and he's getting an epi and benedryl. GAH... and he's 2 hours away at school and I can't just grab the kids and jump in the van and go - like I want to. I'm waiting and waiting and waiting....

Going crazy.... oh oh he is calling - he is on his way back to school, he says he is shaking his way back to school cuz the epi made him really shaky.

I still get to worry about him until he comes home

Kaedyn's Birth Photos

Upon posting the last blog - I realized that I never really got to share the day that made me even more outnumbered then I already was. Thought maybe I should.

I need to warn you - if you are squeamish - you may not want to read this.... there is a photo (looks down) ... ya know... down there ... of that fat baby's head sticking out of my belly and that's it... yes a c-section photo - it's not TO bad, I mean you don't see guts or anything... it's really just his head, and hands... and my belly ...

I had heard a lot through my pregnancy, we want to get him out before you go into labor on my own. Why? Well, Noah's birth was traumatic and due to everything going on ended up being an emergency c-section. Because he was SO SMALL (1 lb 12oz) they had to do a classic cut with me (up and down instead of bikini) and still had to fish him out ... apparently he saw them coming and hightailed it to the top trying to hide under my ribs. It was traumatic for me, because I had no clue he had been born. NOT because my spinal didn't work and they had to knock me out, or any other reason - other then they just didn't say anything. No "It's A Boy" announcement ... not even a "He's HERE" ... nothing. Just them shouting out his time of birth, and by the time I asked what "3:45" meant - it was only then that I was told my miracle baby had been born. Since they expected him not to live, or survive 24 hours... you would think - just *think* they would allow a mother a moment to see her child. Then I didn't even get to see him until after 9pm! Regardless, he beat all their odds and has been here for 7 years. Nathan's birth was also traumatic but in a different sort of way. Nathan was born on a Thursday, and the weekend before hand Noah had gotten sick. Dennis and I took him into our local ER Sunday night and basically everything got brushed off because A: he was demanding I read to him (because he was nervous) and B: the PA didn't see anything really wrong with him, our concerns about him complaining about his right side hurting badly was brushed off and when Dennis asked about appendicitis, he was told Noah was too young. We were told it was a virus and to go home. We never got to see a *real* doctor. Monday came and went and he *seemed* to be doing better, but Tuesday morning when I had to travel to where the lvl 3 NICU was, where Nathan was going to be born, where Noah had been born... for an appointment... I fought with the choice to take sick Noah, running a 104 temp, throwing up, being lethargic at this time... with or having my mom take him into his Ped. I decided to take him, gut instinct, I couldn't leave him - and so he was going with and I kept saying, "at least if he ends up in the same hospital, we'll be in the same one" ... and sure enough, after my appointment, getting the c-section set up for Thursday - I took him to Peds and they admitted him right away - his kidneys were failing and after several tests, it was determined he had C-Diff bacteria running ramped in his little body because of the antibiotics he had been on for an ear infection. The day that Nathan was born, I had to leave my sick little 5 year old in a hospital bed, and go one floor down to OB to have his brother... it wasn't easy... leaving one baby for another ... Nathan being Dennis' and my first baby together, and it was all new to him since he hadn't been in the room when his daughter was born ... he got to be in the room and everything, but before he was allowed in, they had to do my spinal. It literally took a half hour and I lost TRACK of how many pokes (it had to be at least 35) ... and I hate needles. If you have ever had a spinal... yeah, well ya know. But Nathan came, Dennis was allowed to see him right away, to go with him ... I was taken back before my spinal even wore off and got to see him. And OMG ... let me tell you - I started bawling when I heard him cry in the O.R. ... CRY... he cried. It was music to my ears. You just have no idea what it's like to have a baby and not hear that - that cry you anticipate for 9 months... and not get to hear it for several days like I did with Noah (in some parents cases, weeks, months!) ... so that cry that Nathan gave just sang to my heart!

Then there was Kaedyn's pregnancy. About as normal and I can get (for me anyway) ... it kept being talked about how they didn't want me to go into labor on my own, with two classical c-sections the chances of rupture upon having a vag birth would be too great to risk. So we suffered through an amnio at 37 weeks to check his lung development (on 9-2) and he was still immature. I was given the choice to wait a week or to just wait until 39 weeks when he could do the c-section without needing a medical reason ... I said "9-9 seems like a good day" ... my friend Jess had even guessed it in the baby pool! ... well, the morning of 9-9 hit and I was going nuts. Worried it would come back immature agian, my mom was here from WA and it was hard because she was suppose to go back the following week already (cuz we thought he would be fine to go on 9-2!) ... I was having contractions, but they weren't much different from the ones I had been having for 3 months. It was frustrating. Everytime I turned around my mom or Dennis was asking me if I was okay - cuz I was stopping for contractions - or you could just see it in my face that I was having one. When I jokingly said something about going into the hospital in labor just to get it done with.... the joke was on me. We got to the hospital ... I had to stop in the middle of the road because I was having a contraction. It was the first GOOD solid contraction I had felt. It HURT. I was like woah!! ... We got inside and she asked me if I was in labor, I said "no" lol... little did I know. But I got upstairs, told the nurse I was having contractions and she got me hooked up to the monitor... sure enough, contractions were coming every two minutes AND showing up on the tape!! I didn't realize they were that close together! Holy heck batman!

Dennis and I started to realize about then, that this was probably it.

I mean I need to add to the fact that I was finally having a baby at HOME. And the DR who had helped me through infertility and helped me get pregnant 3 times was finally delivering a baby HIMSELF!!

When Dr. B got there he was going through all the pre-amnio "I have to protect myself" risks and what happens... even though I had already had 5 of them ... as soon as he had walked into the room I had told him that I was having contractions every 2 minutes... he was going through all the amnio stuff and watching my tape and suddenly goes "wow, you ARE having contractions every 2 minutes aren't you?"

No, really - I thought I would just say it as a big joke?!

So then he realizes, we may not need that amnio and he wants to check me... so he steps out for a minute, I get ready - and he comes back in and checks me. I'm 3 cm.

3 cm people!!

Seriously!! This was the first time my body had actually gone into progressing labor on it's OWN. Yeah sure I had a natural birth with Calahan, but I had gone in to get induced! They put the stuff in to ripen my cervix and THAT started the whole ball rolling - but here, I had started it on my own! Gotten to 3 cm!! WOW!!

I did ask if I could just have him the good old fashioned way and got that look that said "Annissa, you KNOW better... " LOL

Dennis' reaction to the news we were going to have a baby that day... finally....
Isn't that cute???? Mine ... well..........................

I was having a contraction - what do you want??? A SMILE!?!? Not to mention they put that stupid IV in when I was having a freakin contraction - I DO NOT DEAL WELL WITH NEEDLES and added the anxiety I was riddled with - I burst into tears...

Then it was time for the scrubs.... teehee...

My reaction to find out that THEY put in the catheter AFTER the spinal is in effect!! (With Noah and Nathan they made me suffer through it, before going into the O.R.)
I love this picture.... I'm nervous, scared, shivering cuz I've got the new mommy excitement coursing through me.... I'm waiting for that prized cry.... I didn't have to wait long...

The C-Section shot..... yep.... that's his little round head there, he was crying already - gurggling crying cuz they hadn't cleared his airways yet... and then when they did - OMG that boy has LUNGS!! He didn't stop crying ... or peeing! As soon as they got him out - he baptized the whole room, 4 or 5 times...

This is his reaction to the whole process....


(above) He finally calmed down when he was put in my arms.... and he went to sleep... everyone had left me and it was just him and I in the room off the O.R. .... and I took that photo. He finally stopped crying, and he had those little gasps that you get when you cry good and hard for awhile. And I just starred at him....


After we got to my room, I had to do the thing that Mommy's have to do ... I had to count his fingers...
and his toes....
and check out the hair....

The following day ....


Then we went home....

Random Photo Challenge - August 2008

I am doing my Random Photo Challenge late - but I'm doing it!!! It's been a crazy last couple of days and I'm just now going to be catching up on those I read!! So I stopped by 4 little men and 2 girly twins and was reminded ... I haven't done my....

She prompts:

This weeks numbers are from Samantha!

16th picture folder
28th picture

or

August 2008 {my 16th picture folder}
28th picture

She posted this adorable photo of her baby bump and I thought - in August 2008 I was pregnant too, not with twins but with my Mookey-Mook!

The end of August, we were just waiting for the word on when we were going to have him! Wanting to get him out before I went into labor on my own, at 37 weeks we were getting close! So we did our photo shoot, thinking it would be the LAST one we would be doing, and when we went in for the September 2nd amnio to check his lungs, we were told he was still green. UGH! But the following week, when our 38 week amnio was scheduled on Sept. 9 ... to check again, and have c-section following if his lungs were mature, I of course walked in IN labor! There was no c-section that day - just the birth of a baby boy!

So here are the Photos to satisfy the prompt! Since I have my months seperated by days even, I am just picking - and sharing a couple since they were never shared here at the time.

So here I am, VERY pregnant with the Kaedyn ... 37 weeks ...

Goodbye Carmen.... my furry sister...

Rest In Peace

Carmen ...

My Furry Sister...


She passed away on 5/24/09... I found out because my mom sent me a text message. Simply saying she had to put her down.

I don't know the reasons yet.

But I know she was old and had been sick for several years, even having a very large tumor last year (I think it was last year)

She was a good dog, very faithful and loving. She was nippy at times but so is Keya (my furry brother, Calahan named him when he was a couple years old) ... Keya and Carmen may have been years apart in the whole dog age thing, but they were the best of friends, true siblings. They totally ignored each other but you knew they loved each other. Mom left Carmen at the vet on Friday and she told me that she had a severe bladder (or was it UI?) infection... she was on fluids and all that. My step-dad, Russ, was very upset and telling Mom to just put her down now, but she couldn't do it.

She was so faithful. She followed my step-dad around, she was his dog. They had step stools so she could get her round little body up on the couchs and such. She waddled every where she went.

But she had even gotten to the point where she had fallen down the stairs a couple of times, she has been deaf for years... she's been sick off and on, but we were hoping....

..... you can't help but hope THAT day never comes....

..... when you have to say goodbye...

I did text my mom back, I didn't figure she felt like talking or she would have called me in the first place. I'm sure we'll talk tomorrow. We talk practically everyday but I know she is upset and Russ is probably beside himself with grief. They both are. Keya is wandering around the house right now wondering where the heck that other annoying dog is, and missing her.

But she got her doggy wings today... joining their cat who died last year also (well, it was Russ' ex wife's cat but he LIVED at my mom & Russ' place and THEY were the ones who took care of him) ... my mom would never call Tiggers THEIR cat, but he was.

It's a heartbreaking day.

The Allergy Stupor ...

I’m having a bad day today. I woke up this morning (after being awoken countless times last night by a Nathan who just could not sleep well, but Dennis got up every time with him – without so much as a “Honey would you…” … bless him, seriously.) … it was about 6:30 when Kaedyn got up. So I got up made him a bottle, all that good stuff. My eyes are stinging so bad, itchy, and I’d just like to poke them out of my own head. My nose itches, and when I say that I don’t just mean the outside part, I mean my sinuses, inside, all the way up to my brain – it all itches like crazy.

Yeah that picture describes pretty well how I feel, only I have better hair!

On top of all that, I have had an auto-immune disorder since I was 16. Everyday is a constant battle with pain and I normally don’t complain about it other to say “oh my joints are bad today” or “my muscles are hurting pretty bad today” … because if I actually complain about it, even to just say that… it’s got to be BAD. I have a high pain tolerance. So… my body is fighting the allergies so much that it can’t fight both what is going on with my body naturally, and my allergies. Everything is all swollen, my lower legs, my feet, my hands, all my joints are hurting. I live by typing, if I’m not working on my books, I’m blogging, I’m emailing, I’m doing something on the computer – there is nothing wrong with the muscles it takes to type, but right now, they are on fire as if I have marathon typed before. Just this short time writing this out – and my wrists, my muscles going from my hands through my arms, hurt. Yep, I just had to stop and shake it off. Now I’m going to get up and make Kaedyn a bottle cuz he’s waking up – to give them a rest.

Now that is done… along with a stinky Kaedyn diaper, and a lot of adorableness … he’s happily ignoring that bottle I just made him to play in the toy kitchen, and sing to it. So back to my story…

So I want to scratch my eyes out and shove a super sharp pencil up my nose just to itch that unitchable itch… scrambling my own brains (who needs hulu?) … my muscles are in such an uproar and my joints bitch at me everytime I move… I couldn’t take it anymore. Now because of my horrible amount of allergies, not just any med works for me. The one that I have found works for me was Zyrtec… and of course, finally, when I get great relief, my insurance company decides that it’s not going to cover it anymore, so if I want it, I have to pay for it…. I can’t afford to do that … so I am put on something else (another very popular one) but it doesn’t work for me. Not at all. They try something else… it doesn’t work either. So I quit, and I start going with over the counter stuff. (at the time, Zyrtec wasn’t OTC) … so Tylonal Sinus was the best thing, and Benedryl when things were REALLY bad, like this morning.

So this morning, I suck it up and I took Benedryl, just to get SOME SORT of relief. My eyes are so swollen, scrambling my own brains is looking like a better and better opinion…

Oh you got the fact that I hate taking Benedryl? Well not only do I hate taking meds period and ONLY take them when I have to, but Benedryl is a very very mean drug to me. It basically knocks me out so I usually don’t try to take it but before bed.

Well, today… I took it at 7am. By the time Dennis got up around 9, I was passed out in the recliner. He told me to go get some milk, so I managed (literal battle went on with my head and my body) ..to get up, I got dressed, I put my hat of love on so I didn’t have to brush my hair… and wouldn’t you know… he took one look at me and went “what time did Kaedyn get you up?” … I can barely even talk. “6:30” … so then he goes with the guessing game as to why I look so wiped. Again, takes energy I don’t have to form a single word. So he gets his answers by the way I glare at him. Finally he says “do you want me to get the milk?” and I manage to slur “so nice of you to offer” … then it dawns on him. “Did you take something this morning?” …. Pause … “Benedryl?” I nod. “Why didn’t you just tell me you took Benedryl this morning? That crap does crazy shit to you.” So he goes and gets milk, I manage to be conscious the whole time he was gone… and then (dang my arms are hurting again) …. He comes home, makes French toast… man I love him… brings me a plate, as I’m thinking … “milk would be good” and thinking about getting up to get some, he brings me a glass of OJ … I look at it and thing “that works too” … and mutter a thanks. After that we try to play a game together, Kaedyn is sleeping and Nathan is playing with Noah… I tell him I just am too tired, I can’t. So I told him I’m gonna go lay down while things are quite. 3 hours later, I finally come back out of the bedroom, and that was only cuz I woke up and had another one of those battles with my brain and body, my brain won… it usually does… cuz I could have slept the rest of the day, and then some.

The benedryl is starting to wear off… I can feel my eyes puffing up in size by the second, the urge to jam a pencil up my nose is returning… after all, I can save Alec Baldwin and Denis Leary some time… I sat down while Dennis played Zelda for awhile and read my ECLIPSE book… which I’m not very far into. When do I have time to read? The only time I really get to read is in the van with Dennis driving! Or if I’m not tired enough to sleep and I got to bed with Dennis… which lately I’ve been passing out as soon as my head hits the pillow, and we don’t have money to go anywhere really. I mean my excitement for the week was going to the library yesterday and dropping Calahan’s volunteer application off at the Humane Society … which btw, apparently my son is a cat person. Anyway… after feeling my eyes continue to puff up and triple in size, reading started to get bothersome, so I figured I would come and type… doesn’t hurt as much, until I realized my muscles were going to start crabbing. Maybe I should go back to reading.

:::: looks down at the floor next to her chair :::: sees a little butter ball baby kicking my leg repeatedly as if asking for attention in a non verbal way :::: he smiles from ear to ear ::::: he’s chewing on a butterfly teether ::: totally content… guess he doesn’t want up. Noah is currently in Daddy’s chair with his Power Ranger (one of many anyway) and is making Power Ranger dialogue with himself… “morph” “shield” “attack” “agent 7” Who is Agent 7?? Is that like Bond??? 007??? Is Pierce going to come to my house with his adorable British accent??? Ya know Dennis is going to totally read this and think I have a “think” for Pierce now… which I don’t, I just think accents are hot. So then he’s going to start walking around the house doing accents, of course the Irish lilt is the best. But I have to say, my Italian man doing the Italian accent is pretty darn cute too. Nathan is sitting on Daddy’s lap – woke up from his nap while I was writing this – and is watching Daddy play Zelda (yes still) … and Cal – after I made sure he was alive when I was making bottles, had come up for awhile but has returned to his room in the dungeon. Probably to play on his laptop … now Noah is playing with Kaedyn (gives him a chance to play with baby toys) …. Nathan just started to wail … yeah he is as miserable as I am.

So now I shall go cuddle and be a miserable one with Nathan for awhile. I made my button for my homeschooling blog in my allergy stupor this morning. Whatcha think?

Saturday In Pictures... and words...

So this morning, I had a huge laugh. Noah came in the living room and kept asking me if we could go shopping, he wanted some new toys (not going to attempt the spelling right now) and blah blah - I kept telling him we have no money and later he says he needs help, so Cal goes in there to help him. He comes back out and says Noah has been shopping on the internet. He went shopping....


This was his total... ROFLMBO......... I walked out of the room cracking up laughing. It got higher, of course... but OMG - too funny... it's a good thing they don't let 7 year olds have credit cards!

Kaedyn trying to plan his escape!!
Cal reading some parts magazine...
Nathan yelling at me to GET THAT THING OUT OF MY FACE!!!!
Apparently - Kaedyn made his escape cuz while I was getting thos pics, he went in the kitchen!!



Then we left, to run to the Humane Association and the library... after stopping at walmart for diapers...

THIS is the stack of books we came home with (plus a couple Cal took down to his room right away)
So I went in my room to get out of my jeans and into some PJ pants, Nathan followed me, after a few minutes - I got distracted, walked out of the room and forgot Nathan had followed me. All of a sudden I realize I don't see Nate. So I walk to Noah's room, not there, open the bathroom door (he has a habit of going into rooms and closing doors) ... and so usually he closes it and right away starts to beat on the door (knock) and whine a bit if you don't come right away, but my mom had called and I didn't hear any of that. So I look in their room (Nate & Kaed's) and nothing, so then I go to my room, door shut, and open... sure enough, there he is. I start laughing, it's just sitting there playing with Dad's needle nose pliers... well before I could take it away he was doing the crocodile with them and of course he got his skin - poor baby!!
That's his crocky boo-boo....