The Allergy Stupor ...

I’m having a bad day today. I woke up this morning (after being awoken countless times last night by a Nathan who just could not sleep well, but Dennis got up every time with him – without so much as a “Honey would you…” … bless him, seriously.) … it was about 6:30 when Kaedyn got up. So I got up made him a bottle, all that good stuff. My eyes are stinging so bad, itchy, and I’d just like to poke them out of my own head. My nose itches, and when I say that I don’t just mean the outside part, I mean my sinuses, inside, all the way up to my brain – it all itches like crazy.

Yeah that picture describes pretty well how I feel, only I have better hair!

On top of all that, I have had an auto-immune disorder since I was 16. Everyday is a constant battle with pain and I normally don’t complain about it other to say “oh my joints are bad today” or “my muscles are hurting pretty bad today” … because if I actually complain about it, even to just say that… it’s got to be BAD. I have a high pain tolerance. So… my body is fighting the allergies so much that it can’t fight both what is going on with my body naturally, and my allergies. Everything is all swollen, my lower legs, my feet, my hands, all my joints are hurting. I live by typing, if I’m not working on my books, I’m blogging, I’m emailing, I’m doing something on the computer – there is nothing wrong with the muscles it takes to type, but right now, they are on fire as if I have marathon typed before. Just this short time writing this out – and my wrists, my muscles going from my hands through my arms, hurt. Yep, I just had to stop and shake it off. Now I’m going to get up and make Kaedyn a bottle cuz he’s waking up – to give them a rest.

Now that is done… along with a stinky Kaedyn diaper, and a lot of adorableness … he’s happily ignoring that bottle I just made him to play in the toy kitchen, and sing to it. So back to my story…

So I want to scratch my eyes out and shove a super sharp pencil up my nose just to itch that unitchable itch… scrambling my own brains (who needs hulu?) … my muscles are in such an uproar and my joints bitch at me everytime I move… I couldn’t take it anymore. Now because of my horrible amount of allergies, not just any med works for me. The one that I have found works for me was Zyrtec… and of course, finally, when I get great relief, my insurance company decides that it’s not going to cover it anymore, so if I want it, I have to pay for it…. I can’t afford to do that … so I am put on something else (another very popular one) but it doesn’t work for me. Not at all. They try something else… it doesn’t work either. So I quit, and I start going with over the counter stuff. (at the time, Zyrtec wasn’t OTC) … so Tylonal Sinus was the best thing, and Benedryl when things were REALLY bad, like this morning.

So this morning, I suck it up and I took Benedryl, just to get SOME SORT of relief. My eyes are so swollen, scrambling my own brains is looking like a better and better opinion…

Oh you got the fact that I hate taking Benedryl? Well not only do I hate taking meds period and ONLY take them when I have to, but Benedryl is a very very mean drug to me. It basically knocks me out so I usually don’t try to take it but before bed.

Well, today… I took it at 7am. By the time Dennis got up around 9, I was passed out in the recliner. He told me to go get some milk, so I managed (literal battle went on with my head and my body) ..to get up, I got dressed, I put my hat of love on so I didn’t have to brush my hair… and wouldn’t you know… he took one look at me and went “what time did Kaedyn get you up?” … I can barely even talk. “6:30” … so then he goes with the guessing game as to why I look so wiped. Again, takes energy I don’t have to form a single word. So he gets his answers by the way I glare at him. Finally he says “do you want me to get the milk?” and I manage to slur “so nice of you to offer” … then it dawns on him. “Did you take something this morning?” …. Pause … “Benedryl?” I nod. “Why didn’t you just tell me you took Benedryl this morning? That crap does crazy shit to you.” So he goes and gets milk, I manage to be conscious the whole time he was gone… and then (dang my arms are hurting again) …. He comes home, makes French toast… man I love him… brings me a plate, as I’m thinking … “milk would be good” and thinking about getting up to get some, he brings me a glass of OJ … I look at it and thing “that works too” … and mutter a thanks. After that we try to play a game together, Kaedyn is sleeping and Nathan is playing with Noah… I tell him I just am too tired, I can’t. So I told him I’m gonna go lay down while things are quite. 3 hours later, I finally come back out of the bedroom, and that was only cuz I woke up and had another one of those battles with my brain and body, my brain won… it usually does… cuz I could have slept the rest of the day, and then some.

The benedryl is starting to wear off… I can feel my eyes puffing up in size by the second, the urge to jam a pencil up my nose is returning… after all, I can save Alec Baldwin and Denis Leary some time… I sat down while Dennis played Zelda for awhile and read my ECLIPSE book… which I’m not very far into. When do I have time to read? The only time I really get to read is in the van with Dennis driving! Or if I’m not tired enough to sleep and I got to bed with Dennis… which lately I’ve been passing out as soon as my head hits the pillow, and we don’t have money to go anywhere really. I mean my excitement for the week was going to the library yesterday and dropping Calahan’s volunteer application off at the Humane Society … which btw, apparently my son is a cat person. Anyway… after feeling my eyes continue to puff up and triple in size, reading started to get bothersome, so I figured I would come and type… doesn’t hurt as much, until I realized my muscles were going to start crabbing. Maybe I should go back to reading.

:::: looks down at the floor next to her chair :::: sees a little butter ball baby kicking my leg repeatedly as if asking for attention in a non verbal way :::: he smiles from ear to ear ::::: he’s chewing on a butterfly teether ::: totally content… guess he doesn’t want up. Noah is currently in Daddy’s chair with his Power Ranger (one of many anyway) and is making Power Ranger dialogue with himself… “morph” “shield” “attack” “agent 7” Who is Agent 7?? Is that like Bond??? 007??? Is Pierce going to come to my house with his adorable British accent??? Ya know Dennis is going to totally read this and think I have a “think” for Pierce now… which I don’t, I just think accents are hot. So then he’s going to start walking around the house doing accents, of course the Irish lilt is the best. But I have to say, my Italian man doing the Italian accent is pretty darn cute too. Nathan is sitting on Daddy’s lap – woke up from his nap while I was writing this – and is watching Daddy play Zelda (yes still) … and Cal – after I made sure he was alive when I was making bottles, had come up for awhile but has returned to his room in the dungeon. Probably to play on his laptop … now Noah is playing with Kaedyn (gives him a chance to play with baby toys) …. Nathan just started to wail … yeah he is as miserable as I am.

So now I shall go cuddle and be a miserable one with Nathan for awhile. I made my button for my homeschooling blog in my allergy stupor this morning. Whatcha think?