Moments of being utterly OVERWHELMED ...

It has been a day … let me tell you. I wanted to get the back yard cleaned up, didn’t happen. I wanted to do a lot of things but didn’t get around to them. I am overwhelmed at the end of the day, and I have a lot of work cut out for me now.

I did however, get Nathan's Daily Diary caught up on My Unique Flowers, and I posted this hilarious post (or at least I think it is) called "How to give ... a 2 year old pills!" because I had to start giving Nathan a half a pill yesterday for his thyroid. I couldn't figure out how you give a 2 year old (who doesn't even do chewables) to swallow or even TAKE the pill. It's a picture tutorial I took this morning when I gave it to him. LOL... Check it out, tell me if you got a chuckle out of it.

After I did all that (and caught up and noted most of - if not all - the blogs I follow - that have been updated) ... I played with the babies some. Dennis was home today so it was nice. Although he did end up ditching me for the bedroom so he could get rid of the migraine he's been carrying around. And apparently he's not the only one who had a headache today (not thinking it was a migraine) ... because Nathan was very out of sorts and overly crabby this morning and afternoon. Nathan and I read a couple of books and when Daddy got up I was just getting up to get Nathan's meds... his migraine med, his allergy med, and ibuprofen for good measure in case a headache he did have. So he gave them and tried to get Nate to nap but he wouldn't (and didn't all day) ...

I got disturbing mail... out of Cal's 8 or 9 classes, he is failing FIVE of them, and getting a D in one. My head is spinning. I just DO NOT understand this. I know he's had a harder time with bullying again this year, I know that school has always been tough for him, and I'm frustrated because he doesn't try and they can't make him. I am at such a loss with him. He is a smart kid, he just doesn't have the tools to thrive right now.

Back when Calahan was about the enter Kindergarten, I held him out to homeschool him a year to get him caught up. He was behind and I figured if he had more one on one attention, he would thrive better, and after a year, we'd figure it out. Well, I was pregnant with Noah - and he of course has his very rare genetic disorder where I knew before he was born that if he survived he would need a lot of extra attention and medical visits. I debated and made the painful (to me) choice of putting Calahan back in public school. I visited the school down the street and got him enrolled, his first day was suppose to be on a Monday in late January, I was 33 weeks pregnant with Noah, I took him to school, went to a DR appt and it lasted from 8:30 to after NOON. I was told to go home, to bed, and that's IT - be back the following morning. The following morning I dropped him off for his 2nd day of school, I ended up in the hospital, had the baby that Friday, and didn't get home until the day after St. Patricks Day when the baby could finally come home. (I saw him during that time, of course, he didn't just NOT see me.)

Once things with Noah settled down after he turned 4 .. I considered homeschooling agian, but then I split up with their Dad, was in the process of divorce, and going back to school myself.

Then Dennis entered my life, pregnant and 9 months later pregnant again...

During all this time, he has been bullied, sometimes to the point of threats of bodily injury/death... he is constantly picked on, he is so angry because of all this he can't stand himself sometimes, it gets out of hand, then the school steps in and it dies down for a little while but it ALWAYS starts back up. It has been BAD since he was in 5th Grade. Some kid threatened him with a screw driver when he was walking home from school.

That combined with his grades.... his ADHD... and everything else, I know he learns better 1 on 1, and I'm done with giving the schools chances to help him, it's not working.

Now I had already decided I was going to homeschool Noah over the summer to try to help him get more caught up with his peers (he's behind too) ... but he's such a social butterfly I'm not going to pull him out of school cuz he thrives there. I'm just going to work with him over the summer to get him caught up, or at least work that way. So I started another blog, to work out this new venture of mine .. yeah I know, like I need another blog... but seriously - having everything in one mixes up my brain... don't I post enough in here as it is??? Geeez....

The 4 Brothers Ranch

It's plain right now. That's it... just pain and one quick entry. Nothing much to report yet.

With all that ... today is Day 1 of Dennis' non-smoking venture. Please let's all wish him TONS of luck that THIS TIME will actually be THE time ... I love you honey, I know YOU can do it for YOU ... because it'll make you happier to not be controlled by those cancer sticks anymore.

I guess that's about it for right now. I am going to bed, cuz I can... cuz I want to ... and cuz I need sleep dang it!! I have some writing to do tomorrow :D