The most fickle beast I know ...... goes by one name, and one name only. I'm sitting here yawning at my computer desk, I'm about to crack open my writing software and start working on Chapter 3 again... I haven't pulled up Chapter 3 in a couple of days, which is not what I had planned this week. I fell like I did nothing today.... but sleep... because I can't sleep at night, but I don't get exhausted until 4 or 5 AM ... and then I crash. I'm sitting here yawning every couple of minutes and yet..... I've already been to bed, already tried the whole going to sleep thing... I've taken my meds, done my insulin ... but I seriously think I am in need of sleep meds... like, legit cuz.... I have such a hard time turning things around.
There are days where I seriously try so hard to just stay awake all day, and I do.... and it's so I'll go to sleep at a reasonable time... and it never happens. For the longest time I was good, I was going to sleep before 1AM - which for me is like going to bed at 9PM... and there were nights I would end up falling asleep at like 7 or 8 PM ... because my body is so eff'd up...
So literally, I stay up, for over 24 hours... and 10 or 11 PM hits, and you know what happens? I get a who needs to sleep wind and I'm up all night......
FML ... I just want to sleep ...
That is an actual picture of me......
In addition ... X-Files was AMAZING tonight.... .
I loved it..... loooooooooved it!!
DB and I also watched an episode of Catfish tonight ... new episode tonight ... I think it was Alyssa & Tyler? I know Tyler is right ... anyway ... the poor kid Tyler kinda reminded me of Noah. This is gonna probably come off wrong, but when he first showed up in person, I wondered if he had Downs, he had a bit of the face features I'm used to seeing.... and before freaking out on me (if you don't know) I have a Trisomy child as well ... Noah is my Mosaic Trisomy 16 child. Tyler seemed rather awkward, not comfortable in social situations, etc and so on. I think I figured out that he doesn't have Downs, so then I wondered if he is somewhere on the spectrum... because Noah has Aspergers ... but regardless, the kid reminded me of Noah... and at the time only 3 years older than Noah (Tyler was 19, Noah will be 16 in a few weeks) ... so it kinda broke my heart.
In situations like that, where it's very clear that the kid or person isn't comfortable being who they are because it seems or feels to them like no one accepts them, and just want to feel like someone likes them for who they are and not what's on the outside, it kinda breaks my heart. It really does.
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