This silly boy eating chex mix .... silly silly boy ..... notice how he's all happy and funny and laughing until...... Kaedyn comes in ........
Jax playing with Spike .... over at my Mom's....
His feed bag for tonight .....
He's filled with sillies ....
I started vomiting again around midnight .... this is not cool. 1: I hate throwing up. 2: I hate throwing up. 3: I hate throwing up. 4: I refuse to be bed ridden tomorrow.
REFUSE.
So - I have Fibromyalgia. I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (since 16). I have Psoriasis (since early 20's) .... I wonder if I have Lupus. Regardless I am really worried. Let me share a little something....
So What Exactly Is Chronic Fatigue Syndrome?
Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS), also known as MYALGIC ENCEPHALOMYELITIS (ME), is a complex illness with a variety of symptoms that affect the entire body just like fibromyalgia.
The systems more greatly affected include the immune system and the nervous system. Both of these systems are constantly ‘working’ to keep the body in balance.
The systems more greatly affected include the immune system and the nervous system. Both of these systems are constantly ‘working’ to keep the body in balance.
Chronic Fatique Syndrome Symptoms List
Notice that the CFS symptoms overlap FMS to a great degree:
- persistent mind and body fatigue not relieved by rest
- cognitive dysfunction and impaired memory
- adrenal stress (low stress tolerance)
- over active nervous system
- lowered immune status
- unrefreshing sleep
- muscle and joint pain
- headaches (migraine and/or sinus)
- sore throat
- tender cervical or axillary lymph nodes, parotid glands (jaw, neck area)
- abdominal pain/irritable bowel
- poor vision
- chest pain and/or inability to maintain an upright position
- post exercise malaise
- irregular heartbeat or palpitations
- weight loss or gain
- jaw pain (TMJ)
- anxiety, depression or mood swings
Both genetic and environmental factors can play a role in the development of chronic fatigue syndrome symptoms. It is important to note that this condition is not caused by depression, however due to the impairment of the immune system and the effect on daily living, depression or anxiety can exist and often does with CFS/ME and should be included on any chronic fatigue syndrome symptoms list.
It's funny though (especially the last thing on that last graphic - not funny as in ha ha - funny as in interesting) ....
So I have numbness on my right side. I've said this. It's spreading over the half way body mark into my left side. What happens when I become numb??? It seems to be just my skin and surface tissue, but it's there. My right lung or kidney is hurting sooooooo bad I just can't even explain it. I'm scared this all is progressing a lot more than I hope.
I am just so tired right now.
Anyway - someone from my past reared her head today - well - no - technically she reared it in October of last year, but it wasn't seen until today.
Gotta love the "other" folder.
So .... she decides to message my husband because she can't find me on Facebook (jep - that's truth) ... and she says" she doesn't know if "it's the right thing to do" and how she basically rehashes her side of the whole affair story with my ex husband - and how it never ever happened. Fine - that's what she says. It honestly doesn't really matter anymore. I don't care if she did or didn't. My biggest issue with her is the way she treated me, how she lied to me, how she bashed my character. I can't forget any of that. Forgiveness or not.
I miss her as a friend. I miss what I thought we had as a friendship. But I have to weigh in all the other stuff too.
Anyway - I messaged her back. Told her my email and send her the link to my FB - told her off a little.
She claims she has NEVER in her life dated someone that her friends had dated or were interested in dating. Which is complete BS. I dated this guy, and then she spent time with him after (basically dated) ... she slept with him (which I'm not cutting on her for sleeping with him) but she can't say that. In addition to that..... when you ask your "best friend's" husband to come over for dinner and a movie, just the two of you ..... what does that sound like? I mean - she says she was just trying to be his "friend" .... well - whatever. I would never ever ever ever ask my friend's husband over, just him, for dinner and a movie. That is over stepping the bounds. He also spent the weekend with her. No one bothered to call me to tell me what was going on. Most of my calls went un-answered. That was the weekend it was pretty clear to me where my marriage was. She didn't seem to have any problem calling me up telling me that my husband wanted a divorce either. Course.... he is the one who tried to win me back - keep her and me.... not going to happen. There is so much more too - but I just don't even want to re-hash it.
I ended up messaging her from DB's account because I couldn't get to it from mine. When I tried it showed up as a "broken link" or "removed page" which I know isn't true because I saw her profile from DB's account. She's obviously married again. Hope maybe she has found happiness, and I truly mean that. Maybe if she did, she'll be a happier less .... vengeful? angry? crazy? But she needs to own up to her shit and stop acting like she is the victim - that she is completely innocent and only had good intentions. Regardless of her intentions, she stole from me, tried to push people away from me, and belittled me. SO yeah....
It's funny though - I have been thinking a lot about her. I miss the friendship I *thought* we had. I didn't realize I still had so much anger. I don't think that would have surfaced if the email had gone something like "I'm sorry for what I did in the past and I was just wondering how you guys were" or something to that effect. But it was more of a ... well, here it is. I want to make sure I have a word for word copy of it.
After all this time I am not sure if this is the right thing to do or not but I would like to share something with you as I can't seem to find Annissa on here. You are a father and you I'm sure know would never swear something on the lives of your children that something didn't happen unless it didn't happen. Something that has always bugged me is that I think Annissa thought I always fooled around with her ex husband and nothing could be further from the truth. I was very loyal to her and would never have done that to her. I have NEVER dated anyone a friend has dated or wanted to date in my life...too much drama and heartache potential there. That being said...Keith was not a good man and if her thinking my fooling around with him got her away from him...I guess that's the price I had to pay. It looks like you two are still together and look very happy and I am thrilled for you all. You have a beautiful family Dennis. Take care
It makes my skin crawl. I still want her to know nothing OF my family. But I have a public blog and I know that's a risk. This was my reply.
Hi Sarah - this is Annissa. I tried to write you from my account but you must have me blocked or your account is private or something. Cuz I cannot even see it from my account. Dennis didn't see this until now. Honestly - I am not even sure what to say to you. Yes in a way I am happy whatever happened between the two of you (you and my ex) happened because it pushed me to the point where I got the balls and filed for divorce. With that said, there are a lot of other things that pushed me away from you. And after doing so - all your angry accusations against me?? I mean really? The beginning of the end for us was the fact that you kept going to him for money when it wasn't his job to support you and he stopped supporting us because whatever was going on between you, he was in love with you. So anything you asked him to do he did, and you knew it. Then there was the fact that you invited him over that one weekend for "dinner and a movie" and who the hell does that? Who asks their best friend's husband to come over for "dinner and a movie" without the best friend? And who lets said husband spend the ENTIRE weekend? I see you are married again, congrats. And I do mean that. I hope this is the guy for you. I hope he is everything to you the way that Dennis is to me. With that said, how would you feel if your "best friend" invited your husband over for dinner and a movie and let him spend the whole weekend. Doesn't matter to me WHY he spent the whole weekend. Doesn't matter if he was helping you because you were sick like you say or if he was there because you guys were having an intimate relationship like he says. The fact is that neither of you even considered my feelings on the whole thing. And that still hurts. More so on your part than his. Cuz... I was pretending to be happy in an effed up marriage and it was about time I broke out of it. I'm more hurt on YOUR actions in the matter than anyones. No he wasn't a good man and he still isn't a good man. I let him basically dominate me and I'm not like that anymore. I don't hold anything back anymore. So you can email me if you want - unless you figure out whatever is going on with your account with why I cannot get to it or message you or anything. My email is (email address). My FB is (link to my FB) ....I have thought about you a lot through the years. I miss the friendship I *thought* we had. But I don't know that I can ever get past the things you did to me that were complete bullshit - like the munchausen by proxy crap and all the crap about me wanting to be YOU and deciding to join ranks with my internet stalker. I realize you were angry - but taking it to that extreme? Really? So you can contact me via email if you can't get to my facebook. You have no need to even talk to Dennis again. This doesn't involve him.
I don't know if I'll ever hear from her. Sorta regret giving her my email address. Oh well. It's done now. I rarely check my email anyway and will probably miss it if she does email me. I'm notorious for never seeing email. I contact and talk to people mostly through Facebook.
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