July 11th :Favorite Outfit & Who Do You Trust

Today's blog prompts ....

FAVORITE OUTFIT

I mean ... I get dressed to leave the house.... sometimes if I know that I'm not getting out of the van I won't... LOL...  sometimes depending on how sick I feel, I won't....  but otherwise on a normal day, I don't get dressed if I'm not leaving.  When I come home, I usually go back into my PJs ... but there are days that I desperately just want to feel normal, and those days I get dressed and stay dressed until bed time. Those days are becoming more frequent ....

WHO DO YOU TRUST?

TRULY TRUST ....  that's a really short list.

My mom, my husband, a few friends ....

My ex husband really did a number on me....  and to this day, he expects me to "trust" him - and it's like no dude, just NO.  He told some MAJOR lies... I mean - he lied to me during our entire marriage.  Lie #1:  Saying he got his first love pregnant and THEY had a baby when they were 14 years old.  Lie:  There was no baby and the picture of "his daughter" he carried around with him, was the picture of his cousin with the same name.  Lie #2: Affiar #1 ....  he may not have had it.  It may have been a game.  It was said that it was a "test" to prove my love for him.  WHY WOULD YOU TELL YOUR WIFE YOU HAD AN AFFAIR IF YOU DIDN'T???   Lie #3:  He said he didn't do the crime he was accused of.  He did.  He admitted in 2006 he committed the 2001 crimes.   Lie #4: He lied to me about having an affair with my best friend. 

It was at that point I was done.   Of course, I didn't know any of those things were lies at the time I filed for divorce.   I would learn these things over many years.  There are - of course - many many many lies, small lies, big lies, spotted lies, big fish lies...   I mean, I have a hard time not thinking everything coming out of people's mouths are lies if I've caught them in a lie, and that's a problem.

It's hard.   I try to give people the benefit of the doubt, and I will sit silently doubting someone - I will play detective and find out one way or another. 

My ex-husband broke me.  I know when DB and I got together he kept telling me not to punish him for the mistakes of my ex....  and that really hit me.  Because it's really hard not to throw that baggage at someone ... but it's true.  No new relationship should be punished for what you went through in a previous one.

Now that's also a lot easier said then done, and DB actually did do the same to me.  His ex was super controlling and he would project that towards some of my actions. 

Though I have had gut feelings of lying going on by DB and I have proved my gut right.  That's hard.  Emotional cheating is just as damaging... if not more damaging ...  then a physical affair.

This is the truth ^^^^ .... sometimes, it's both ....