February * 28 Day Relationship Building Challenge .... day 17

So DB and I have been working on our relationship.   And I have seen a few of these, but I thought it would be good to put one together myself.   It's not just set up for us, it's set up so everyone can do it :)  And it doesn't matter the year.  But if you are going to do it - please leave a note - I'd love to read your answers ....

But I'll warn you now, DB is a man of ...... so.... many ... words.....

DAY 17

Major obstacle you've overcome together? 

DB: My cheating ways .....   

Nissa:  That was short and simple....... and my answer too.

I talked about it in the blog "The Sordid Details" where I talked about how I have been cheated on by every single person I've been with..... and then there is the "My Marriage Isn't Perfect" that I wrote and left unpublished forever....

I don't want to rehash things, so if you want details.... look there.   But I will just say this again (from yesterday's post) ....

The whole thing is whatever at this point ... but it is a recurring theme in our marriage.  He has these moments where he wants to run away.  And I've always known he's a bit of a gypsy.  I've called him such.  He's never really stayed in one place very long since he's been 18.  He's never with a woman for more than a couple years.  A lot of it has to do with the fact that he has never had a relationship (personal or romantic) where he has had support and when things got rough - people bailed.  So he has a hard time knowing how to handle a stable relationship.  Not to mention the only relationship he's ever had an example of is the two people who acted like they hated each other ...  when they'd get mad at each other, they'd cheat on each other - they'd fight dirty and do and say everything to just try to one up hurting the other person worse.  That may sound like an excuse, but it's not.  It's taken a long time to figure this out.  I am fully aware that this is his behavior and fully aware it may not change, and this is the first time that we've really gotten to the root of the issues, and hopefully the behavior will change now, but if it does - we'll have to cross that bridge.  There are things I will definitely not tolerate and there are rules in place at this moment.  If lines are crossed, I'm done - and I've told him this. I have made things really clear. 

On the other hand, marriage takes work, people make mistakes, and it is what you do and how you use those moments in life where you are at your lowest, and how you turn the purpose of it to make yourself and your relationship, and the other person stronger.  I have done nothing to DB but be supportive, be faithful, and be there.  And I think (hope) - fingers crossed - that he understands that his wanting to run because he's in a stable loving relationship is something he has to overcome. 

We really don't fight about much other than this issue.   But fighting is completely normal in a relationship and if you don't fight about something - you are faking it.  LOL....